Random Writings

"How was it, when I left?" || D&D headcannon

NOTE:
! Ivo belongs to my friend Robb, Qiroe belongs to my friend Lizzy, and Pepper belongs to me
! This is not a real thing that happened in our D&D campaign, we didn't even have our first session yet, this is just a headcannon for my own pleasure
! POV: the human monk named Ivo

...

I never would've guessed I'd be in a carriage with my adoptive sister that I left behind years ago and some gnome we found on the streets. I can't sleep so I just silently meditate. I just wanted to get my mind off of everything that has happened today.

I breathed in... then out... then a deeper inhale... then-

*HARD SHAKE*

I twitch open my eyes in surprise not because the carriage shook, but because I felt a small hand tightly grasp my right arm. "Pardon for the rumbling! Quite the rocky road we have here" the rider spoke. I look over to see who's hand it was and it was Pepper's. She seemed startled and her wide eyes are accompanied by dark circles, "I-It's fine! was gonna wake up a-anyway!"

Silently, I flinched her pale hand off my arm and she looked at me in the eyes, more calm and collected now. "Ow?" she said, offended. Looking away from her I close my eyes again. I didn't want to speak to her at all, not at this hour, not at any hour.

I felt the elf shuffling her merry way into what I hoped was a sleeping position. Alas, she just wanted hit me with her elbow on my arm and cross her arms after. Taking a deep breath I mutter "Can you just... go back to sleep?" as I looked again at her. "You didn't sleep, did you?" she asked, dodging my question.

"Are you afraid that I'll..." she smiled, holding up her hands in claw formation "...mug you~?" Lowering my eyelids, unimpressed, I mutter "You wouldn't dare anyways".  She seems a bit intimidated, lowering her hands, just as I wished. I closed my eyes again and started ignoring her. 

So again I started to breathe in... then back out agai-

"I'm boreddd". I open my eyes again in frustration and look over to Pepper seeing her looking at one of her splash potions she held up in the air. I stare "Holy gods-... Why can't you just shut up?" "I'm sorry, am I interrupting your anger management class?" she puts down the green potion, "It's called meditating, if you're so damn bored why won't you go back to sleep?-" "Hey, don't be so loud, Qiroe's still sleeping". I look over to the gnome laying down and sleeping like a rock.

"That's what you should be doing" "Then what about you? Shouldn't you sleep too?" I sigh in contained hate. "I'm not tired" "Neither am I! Looks like we have something in common" she cheered sarcastically. "Watch it" I stared her in the eyes "No wonder why they didn't treat you well" I quickly grabbed her shirt, and in a deep and serious tone I mutter "watch. it."

Her sinbad colored eyes that stared back in mine gave off the feeling of fear but mostly... guilt. After a while I let go off her white shirt resulting in her landing back in her seat beside me then and looked over to the other side of the ride. 

"H-Hey..." her ear twitched as she whispered. She cleared her throat, speaking a bit louder "I'm... I'm sorry... that I brought our parents up". I stayed quiet and could hear her fidgeting with the cork from her potion. Silence, just what I wanted, but it didn't feel great. 

. . .

"H...How was it?" I turn my head to her, unsure. She moved her eyes to my direction "What do you mean?". "How was it... when I left?" I asked, trying not to twitch or frown. Pepper sighed and turned her head toward the wooden floor, "Nothing much really...". I felt... almost offended, did my existence not matter to them at all? To any of the people who are supposed to love me and support me?

"Are y-you... sure?" I look away quickly and silently, a stutter sneaked in my sentence and I showed weakness. Something brushed my arm but it didn't feel like her hand. "Well... nothing to our parents" she explained in a worried tone. I was never taught how emotions or interactions worked so I was nervous on how I was supposed to take in her answer. 

"They... treated me like they always did..." She paused for a moment, "But it felt... so... empty without you being there". I was so confused... she missed me? after all I've done to her she still... missed me... I cleared my throat a bit "Why? did you miss the arguments? The hitting? You should've gotten that checked-" "I ran away when I turned 16". I jolted my head towards her in disbelief.

I saw her eyes pointing at my hand silently. "But you were treated like the second coming why would you run away?" "I got spoiled the moment I got adopted. I'm so arrogant and stubborn and-" "was" I interrupted her, "What?" "What you meant was 'I was so arrogant and stubborn and bratty', no?". She glanced up to me "...I ran away to stop being that way. I realized how snobby I was and so... ignorant". I couldn't deny it, but I felt pity for her. She continued, "It's been years since I left... and I don't feel like I've changed..." her voice shaky and small.

Certainly, this wasn't my line of expertise. How was I supposed to handle this situation? I had no experience in comforting anyone. I felt like anything that would leave my mouth would make her mood worse, but I couldn't have kept quiet either. Trying to learn how to be empathetic by remembering what my friends tell me while I get upset doesn't seem to work. All these thoughts occurred to me in just a minute.

Finally I decide on reaching for her right shoulder and pulling her closer. She felt a bit cold. In silence she seemed surprised and a bit more calm. "From what I can tell, you are still annoying and insensitive sometimes" I exclaimed, feeling her head move up to me from my chest. Continuing, "I did notice you smell better and act more like a normal person, though", she scoffed, "After what? After I yelled out  when I saw you again after so many years?" I can hear her smile and her body loosen, it felt... comforting, knowing I somehow managed to make her feel better.

"At that time I didn't feel mentally stable enough to start interning, so I stayed at an old friend's house" she narrated, "You actually made a good decision? That's crazy talk" I smiled, joking around. She pulled away to look at me clearly, she stared at my face with a big stupid grin. "You... smiled?" she laughs. I grunt and look away out of embarrassment, I didn't know it was that obvious. "Aww... big softie Ivo~!" she cheered. "Just shut up, will you?" I slightly pushed her away.

"You know... I became a waitress for... a year" she joked. "Did you serve drinks with your plate on your head? It's far enough to reach-" "Oh shut up" she interrupted with laughter. Now being self aware, I tried hard not to smile. "And what about you, tough guy?" she asked, I rolled my eyes "I was a blacksmith for a pretty long time". Her reaction was to raise an eyebrow. "How long?" "10 years" I answered. With wide eyed her mouth opened "10 years?? How old are you?"

I sighed "30, we have a 9 year age gap, remember?". She starts counting her small fingers in whispers "But that would make meee..... 21 years old" "So you're not 21?". Pepper stared off into empty space. My hand slapped my forehead "You don't know how old you are?" she nods aggressively "Yes I do!" she bit her lip looking away.

"So you were a blacksmith, huh? What are you now?" she quickly changed the subject, "...A mercenary" "A what now?" I sighed, "Someone who fights for money". She seemed impressed but but not surprised. "I mean... it fits your anger issues" she smiled and I slapped her arm. "What's your job now? if you even have one" I said in a menacing tone. "I'm a stand-up comedian at a tavern" she ignored.

"An... entertainer?" "...Yes" she said while brushing her hair with her hands. I was a bit skeptical, not about her having the job, but her keeping it. Personally, I didn't find her jokes very funny but if the public likes it, that's how it is, I guess. "Good for you, don't know how humor is with the civilians but..." "Are you telling me I'm not funny?" she said in an offended voice. "My bad, at least you have a job". The best compliment I could give at that moment is... 'at least you have a job'?  I need to learn how to maintain basic conversations.

After a while of blabbering around, offending each other, embarrassing myself we decided to rest since we couldn't just stay up all night, not now. I guess we needed this, we needed to talk to each other, to understand each other better and forgive ourselves. My eyelids fell heavy as Pepper leaned on my arm to sleep, I didn't feel like pushing her away this time. We fell asleep, silence, as the carriage slightly rumbled and continue to make noise.