Blue || Bucky Barnes

65. The Unlucky Hour

Leia takes a deep breath closing their bedroom door behind them.
"Leia I'm sorry, ple-" She stops his apology by crashing her lips against his. Leia wraps her arms around his neck pushing herself as close to him as she's able. Bucky gives in kissing her back, he can never refuse.
"I'm really sorry." He leans his forehead against hers, breathing steady for a moment.
"It's alright, it doesn't matter." Leia kisses him again with more urgency. Bucky's hands rest on her hips and he pulls her close again. Slowly they fall lower down to her bum squeezing gently. The butterflies go crazy in Leia's stomach from the foreign feeling. He lifts her up and she wraps her legs around his waist. Bucky walks over to their bed and practically throws her down onto the soft mattress. Wasting no time at all he undoes his belt again and pulls it free from the loops, tossing it on the floor. He pushes himself between Leia's legs and kisses her hard, both of them utterly lost in the moment.
Leia pulls the shirt from his pants and works on the buttons. As the last one pops open Bucky tears the shirt off and throws it away. Leia pulls his jaw back down to kiss him again, just wanting to feel him close to her. Bucky's right hand glides over her exposed thighs. It trails up and pushes her dress up with it. He can feel the small goosebumps along her generally smooth skin which only fuels his actions. His hands are shaking slightly anticipating what's to come but he won't let her notice. Leia's breath catches in her throat as his gorgeous hands travel higher and higher up her thighs. Bucky kisses her jaw but notices her slight shift. Her reaction trips a wire in Bucky's mind. If they're going to do this, it'll be her first time.
"I'm sorry." He kissed her cheek more gently, his demeanour shifting completely from forceful and hungry to soft and loving.
"It's okay, you already said that." Leia's hand brushes against his scruffy jaw and kisses his soft lips again.
"No Leia, I'm being really disrespectful." She looks at him slightly confused by his words. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Bucky's voice is so soft and gentle.
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." Her confession makes Bucky smile brightly.
"I had grand plans to make this moment all romantic. Your first time should be special." Bucky's words wipe the smile off of Leia's face almost immediately. Oh dear god.
"Bucky I-"
"I promise I'll be gentle. And if you want me to stop, tell me and I will." He interrupts. Leia's heart lurches in her chest, a wave of sheer guilt rushing over her. She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out.
"What's wrong baby." Bucky's voice is hushed as he grasps her hand gently. Her eyes well with guilty tears.
"I- um..." Leia can't seem to spit it out. There's no way to explain the way she's feeling in the moment. Guilt and betrayal towards him clouds her mind.
"It's alright, I love you." Bucky kisses her lips trying to fall back into the momentum they had before.
"Bucky.."
He pulls back looking at her and he sees her teary eyes and his heart melts for her. "Hey, it's okay, we don't have to-"
"It's not my first time." Leia blurts out before she has the chance to overthink her actions.
Her words slowly sink into Bucky's brain and his mind instantly assumes the worst. "Did your Father-"
"No, no." She sniffs lightly.
Bucky's mind whirs, trying to make sense of what she's saying. He's almost one hundred percent sure that she'd told him, years ago, she'd never been with anyone before. "I don't know what you mean?" Bucky says. Leia's eyes scan his face, guilt weighing heavy on her heart. If she'd have known she was going to feel this way she would've never done it. He needs to know.

"Look, while Loki and I were in Florida, I was just really sad. I thought I'd lost you. I felt helpless and miserable." Bucky's mind is clouded as he listens to her words. "I was really upset and lonely-"
"So you slept with him?" Bucky's words are abrupt as he blurts, pulling away from her.
"Bucky, I-"
"So when you started to feel lonely, you didn't think to talk to Steve, or Nat, or Bruce, Clint, Nebula, or Rocket, Thor, or for gods sake Tony? Would you like me to keep going?" Bucky raises his voice, hurt coursing through his veins.
"I'm sorry, Bucky. I-"
"God please tell me you're joking." He just looks at her praying that she's messing with him. But by the look on her face he knows she's being dead serious. His heart sinks to the pit of his stomach, sorrow and anger spreading throughout his body.
"I thought it was us!" Bucky yells standing up and Leia's heart skips a beat for all the wrong reasons.
"I thought you were gone!" Leia fires back not quite as loud.
"I can't believe this!" Bucky's breathing is heavy as he runs his hands through his hair. His mind immediately goes to all the times when Loki interacted with her, or the times he'd laughed at her jokes or caught him staring at her.
"Bucky, there's nothing between us. We're friends! I swear to you! I love you and only you!" Leia tries her best to cool his fire but it seems to be no use.
"So the training room? When you two cooked dinner? How he knew you could sing and I didn't!? And tonight, you two dancing together? You're gonna look at me in the eyes and tell me that there's nothing between you two. I see the way he looks at you!!" Bucky looks up at her the anger boiling out of him through tears welling in his eyes.
"You don't get it!" Leia instantly regrets her choice of words.
"What is there to get Leia! You slept with someone who isn't me! And him of all people!! You barely knew the guy as well!!" Bucky can't even begin to comprehend the conversation they're having right now. He never thought he'd have this conversation with her, ever.
"I've known him since I was abducted from Wakanda!"
Bucky pauses for a second letting her new words sink in. "So this has been going on since Ragnarok!?"
"No Bucky, don't be ridiculous."
"Is that why you didn't tell me about it? Why I only found out tonight because you were all reminiscing?" Bucky's words are like ice but Leia understands his angst.
"I'm sorry, I'll take that one, I should've told you." Leia says.
"Is there anything else that you 'should've told me'? Because now seems like a great time to get it all out there." Bucky's mad beyond words. He can believe she didn't tell him.
"No." Her voice is quiet laced with sheer guilt.
Bucky rubs his temples for a moment totally in his head. "I can't believe he's seen you and I haven't! After we've been together for decades he still managed to see you after a few fucking months!!"
Leia registers his rather possessive words and opens her mouth all too quickly. "I'm sorry Bucky but that was my choice! It's my body after all! I was lonely, I needed someone, he was there. You don't understand how it felt! You'll never understand what it was like! It's so complicated Bucky!" Her words echo through the room leaving Bucky stunned silent for a mere second.
"Explain what is so complicated about me being devoted to you for decades and you fucking me over! And getting with-" Bucky points towards the door stopping himself, his mind instantly going to Loki. God he's gonna kill him. He balls his fist and turns around quickly walking towards the door.
"Buck, don't go after him!" Leia strides after him.
"Jesus! I just... I can't be near you right now." Bucky's words slice straight through Leia, halting her advances. She watches him walk down the corridor without looking back. His shoulders are stiff and his jaw is tight, his walk menacing.
Bucky can't believe what she'd just told him. He knew they'd spent some time together but he was honestly foolish to believe that nothing happened between them, it's so obvious to him now.