the shadows between us

Did you change your mind?

so your author here! Hi, thanks for reading my story. I know we all hate long author notes so I will get to it. This story is a fanfic about the book The shadows between us. It takes place in the last chapter but it's from Kalliases pov. Hope you enjoy it!

I woke up a few days after...well everything. I was in the hospital wing with a whole platoon of guards stationed outside. I could not believe it Leonardos my childhood best friend was my brother and he tried to kill me. If Alessandra hadn't figured it out and saved me at risk to her own life I would have been dead. Alessandra. The girl I love, the girl that I threw out of the castle and threatened came back to save me even though I told her if she ever came back I'd kill her. And she didn't even know how much I regretted that choice I was in the queen's suite that night because I couldn't imagine a future where that room was not hers. When I asked about her they said she had brought me to this very room herself and checked every corner for anything that could hurt me, then she had ordered the guards that were stationed outside and as soon as she knew I was alright she had left. Alessandra had left thinking I didn't love her and I could not bear it. Her last words to Xantos kept echoing in my head "You didn't really know me, If you had, you'd know I've already killed for love once before.". for love. She loved me and I had sent her away. I remembered the hurt I saw in her eyes when I threw her out. As soon as I was out of the hospital I ordered my guards to track her down. Apparently, she was staying at her friend's estate. Alone. I war relived, to say the least when I heard she hadn't brought anyone home. I would not have blamed her I hurt her a lot but it was still a relief. So here I was. I had bullied the servants to let me in without being announced. I was afraid she was going to send me away before I even got the chance to apologise. No, I wasn't afraid I was petrified. I wasn't sure what I'd do if she didn't accept my apologies thought she had every right not to. I was in her parlour when I heard her mutter to herself. "I'm not a trollop, I'm a sexually empowered woman, and there is nothing wrong with that.". no there isn't Alessandra. I found myself ready to behead the person who put that tone in her voice who called her a trollop. But then I caught myself I had called her much much worse. I gathered all my courage and knocked on her bedroom door and hear her response"I'd prefer not to be disturbed with any more correspondences,". Her voice sounds holo nothing like the Alessandra I know. I walk into the room and close the door. She doesn't look up from the letter she is composing so I say "Will you permit a visitor, then?" she nearly jumps off the chair she stands so abruptly her room is covered with torn letter pieces and I can't help but notice she isn't wearing one of her beautiful dresses but just a simple white gown with all the design of a large sack yet she still looks stunning. I had my whole speech prepared but the sight of her proves too much and so I just stare at her she sees the bruises from my fight with the servants "You didn't heal yourself. With your shadows. I'll leave. Then you can—" but I cut her off "I wish to heal from these the long way. I've earned the pain that comes with them." silence filled the room she everts her eyes and doesn't meet my gaze. her voice is firm, cold when she askes "did you change your mind?" I am confused by the question she must know I am here to apologise. Why else would I be here? "Yes, of course." she nods slowly and her eyes trail along the floor. I can't make out her facial expression. "How is it to happen, then?" she asks gravely I am still confused by her question, "I thought we'd take the carriage." And then?" she answers I have no idea what she means. The quiet stretches until Alissandra snaps and looks up at me. "Well? How am I to die? Am I to be hanged? Drawn and quartered? Are you going to push me off a cliff? Strangle me with your bare hands? What's it to be, Kallias?" she seems to gather herself and her cold exterior return when she says "I mean, what's it to be, Your Majesty?" I am stunned. She thinks I changed my mind and want to execute her. She doesn't know I love her and Alessandra. My Alessandra thought I would murder her. I look of horror crosses my face as walk to her and fall to my knees I take both her hands in mine and realise she is still wearing the engagement ring. The ring I gave her. that gives me some hope that she still loves me enough to forgive me. I stare at it for a moment before saying "You've misunderstood. When I said I changed my mind, I meant about sending you away. About destroying our life together."  she goes still I don't think she's even breathing. "You could have let me die," I say "You could have let Leandros—Imean, Xanthos—kill me and then ruled as a queen with him. But you didn't.You killed him. You killed for me. But I knew before then. I was hurt, yes, but I was going to come back for you right before Xanthos approached me. I was in my mother's sitting room, because I tried to imagine a future where that room wouldn't be yours, and I couldn't."  and that was the truth. well most of it she still didn't know I loved her. I stand up and look her in the eyes her face is stunned but she's trying to keep her composure. "I was scared. I was so scared to trust anyone, and I hurt you as a result. I said things I shouldn't have. And I'm so unbelievably sorry, Alessandra." She opens her mouth to say something but I don' let her if she is going to push me away she might as well know everything before she does. I clumsily get the letter out of my pocket and open it up. "You never read this. I started it right after the night I read Orrin's letter to you. I realized that words can be so hard to find  when spoken aloud at the moment. But writing? It gives me the time to articulate just what I feel. I was too much of a coward to read it to you before. But I'm going to now. "My Alessandra,  "All the poets in all the world could write odes to your beauty. You are lovely, stunningly beautiful. Even a fool could see it. "But that is not what drew me to you. It was your eyes. It was the way you didn't look at me that made me realize you are special. You didn't look at me like I was a king, someone to be respected and worshipped. You looked on me as a man. A man who says foolish things and makes terrible decisions. You made me remember what it is to be human. "I'd forgotten. Having spent a full year with no one to touch, no one to talk to—it was you who reminded me what it is to live.                                                "Your eyes spoke of a mind that loves to tease and loves to win. But they also showed me your heart, one that could be so reserved but ready to love if I could only earn it.                                              "I haven't earned it. I will never earn it. I could spend a million years trying to worship you, and I still wouldn't be worthy of you. "But I'm desperate for you all the same. And though I will not have millennia to live, I want to give however many years I have left to you. Because I love you. I love the woman who saved me. And though she doesn't need me, I want her. Fiercely. "All the time in the world is worth nothing if I don't get to spend it with you. "Forever yours, Kallias." and I realise not even these words can do her justice or make up for the hurt I caused but now she knows and it feels as though she will ether shatter my heart or make me the happiest person alive. I fold the letter back up methodically, taking my time. after a moment Alessandra asks. "Why did it take you so long to come to see me?" She keeps all emotion from her face and eyes I know what she is doing she doesn't want to show vulnerability. I shrug and laugh uncomfortably. "I was a mess. I thought I might have a better chance of you taking me back if my face weren't all beat up."  she slides her hand against my cheek, resting her palm there. "I  less how your face looks."I feel the pull of muscle as my lips twitch. "No?" I do like it when it's healthy and beautiful, but it is not why I love you." my breath hitches as I say, "The money and power help, too." Hope feels my chest and I am trying to clamp it down "It is what originally caught my interest, but I lose interest in everything sooner or later. Everything saves you. Because in you, I found my match. In you, I found my equal." I grab her, pull her into my arms. "I love you, Alessandra. What can I say to make you forgive me and take me back?" Words only mean so much. Actions speak far louder, don't you think?" I do." I lower my head, brushes my lips with his.And we start our new life together. Never to be alone again