Flowers from 1970 // reupload

2.8

"Don't worry." Nick patted him on the back, "Consider us friends now. You can visit anytime you want after this and we can read my new comics." Nick smiled as he opened the car door for Dream, who got in and smiled. It was his first time ever making a friend.

---

With their close friendship, it was impossible for Sapnap not to notice his friend looking dark and dreary lately. He has offered visits to his house to talk about whatever it was, but Dream always waved him off, saying it was no big deal. "Jeepers Creepers, you're scaring me, Clay. What's been bugging you?"

Had it been a normal situation, Dream would have told Sapnap everything. He could trust him with his life, and he also knew he would give him the best advice, being the perfect balance of criticism, judgement, and comfort.

How could he tell his friend of such a problem, though? How could he tell him that for the past two months he had been in his room talking to a boy fifty years ahead in time. Sapnap believed everything Dream said, but if there was a line to that, this would definitely have crossed it. 

Another problem would be that even if he left out the phone call details, he wasn't sure how Sapnap would react to him falling for another boy. Sapnap had anyways been supportive of everyone, but they were best friends and he was scared as to what his reaction would be. So, as much as he wanted to tell him what was going on, he didn't really know where to start.

"Just the blues." Dream took a sip of soda and avoided his friend's eyes, "It happens."

"You think I didn't notice that, man?" Sapnap took the bottle of soda from him and put it down on the table, "What I mean is what's the reason for it?"

Dream fidgeted with his hands, "Heartache." Was all he could let out of his mouth. Sapnap's mouth gaped opened and he suddenly looked offended.

"Heartache?" Sapnap bellowed loudly, "You never told me someone snatched your heart up, and I find out because they broke it?"

Dream groaned and buried his face into his hands, "I know and I'm sorry." His voice was muffled, "I was just scared of what you'd think."

"What I'd think?" Sapnap sounded confused, "You've told me about girls plenty of times before, why are you scared now?"

"That's the thing." Dream lifted his face, his heartbeat rapidly increasing as he inhaled and looked his friend straight in the eye, "It's not a girl, Nick." He exhaled and closed his eyes, almost to protect himself from a force that didn't exist.

Sapnap took this information in. He was obviously surprised, but he calmed down quickly and sat closer to Dream, "That's-" He let out a breath, "not what I expected, but it doesn't bother me. Did you think it would?"

Dream opened his eyes and shook his head quickly, "No, of course not. I just thought it'd be different because you and I are best friends and I was scared you'd see me differently."

Sapnap laughed, and Dream was taken back, "Come on, man. You'll always be cocky, goofy Clay. Whatever kind of person snatches your heart can't change that, and it definitely doesn't change what I think of you."

Relief flowed through Dream's body, and he wondered why he had waited so long to tell Sapnap about his situation. He smiled, "I'm not full of myself, by the way."

"No, you definitely are." Sapnap grinned, "So who's the lucky guy?"

He knew Sapnap would ask that, and he still didn't have an answer prepared. He thought for a moment, "He doesn't live near here."

"Dang that's rough," Sapnap empathized with him, "distance doesn't do anyone well. Is that the reason for heartache?"

"Y-yeah." Dream answered honestly, because it was the truth. The problem was indeed distance, but it was something Sapnap just wasn't ready to hear about or try to understand quite yet. Maybe one day, but for now he wanted to keep the phone calls a secret.

Dream was staring at a vase of orchids in the corner of Sapnap's room. They were slowly withering, which bothered him because he wished Sapnap would take better care of them. They were kept in a bad place, just sitting in water in a dark shadow of the room when they belonged in the soil with the sun.

He realized that you can only have flowers away from where they're supposed to be for so long before they start to die. There's a place for them to live, to belong. That's the only way that flowers could survive time, if they stayed where they were supposed to be.

It was like him and George. They both had their places where they belonged, and it's best if they stayed in them. He would have loved to have him close to him, but just like the flowers dying in Sapnap's vase, he could only wait for so long before inevitably their chances would wither.

Why is it so hard to move on, then?

It was easy.

He loved George would say he missed him too. He loved when George seemed so interested in his little anecdotes and stories he'd never have told anyone else. He loved when George would stop himself when he realized he was chewing too loudly over the phone. He loved George's voice and hesitation when Dream told him too much too fast. He loved his little chuckles and when he'd try and hold back a laugh. He loved when the phone would only ring once before George would answer and say hello to him so quickly. 

There was so much to love about him, but he was better off being loved by someone who could be there. Someone who could tell him all those things to his face while holding him close. Someone who could look him in the eyes and assure him when he felt like he was being lied to.

Someone from his time.

That was just something Dream couldn't give him, and it killed him so much.

He maybe was full of himself, because he felt like George deserved him. George would subtly imply that Dream was the only one that had understood or ever talked to him with his full heart. He was surely full of himself for feeling like he deserved George.

Those were the things that Dream could give him. His listening ear, his reassurance, his funny stories that would make his day, but that just wasn't enough.

He couldn't have George, and he just couldn't wait for him.

"Clay?" Sapnap was waving his hands in front of Dream's face, "Dream? Clay? Pissbaby?"

Dream snapped out of his thoughts, trying to hold back tears, "You should really take care of those flowers, Nick."