Perfect ~ Larry Stylinson

28 - The question

"Baby?" Louis said quietly and carefully moved closer to the crying man. Harry looked up horrified, trying to swipe away the tears. "Hey, it's all right," Louis took another step forward and reached out towards Harry. When he did not move away, he closed the distance fully, climbed into bed next to Harry and pulled him in his arms. He was leaning with the back to the headboard and Harry was on his chest similar to their position earlier on the couch.

Louis ruffled a hand through Harry's curls and let the other rub soothing circles on his back. "I'm sorry babe." Louis placed a soft kiss on Harry's head. "I did not realize this meant so much to you. If you really want me there, I'll think about it, ok?" 

Even now, Louis couldn't just promise him, he'll be there. The anxiety was too much. He did not even want to think about it afraid he'll panic again. After a while Harry managed to stop crying. He lifted his head to look Louis in the eyes. 

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I feel like I overreacted. You don't have to come just because you feel sorry for me." He seemed to shrink in on himself saying those words. Louis did not know what to answer, this whole situation was fucked up. After a while he simply said, 

"I'll think about it. I promise. Can we talk about this some other time?" Harry nodded.

They did not solve the situation. They did not talk about their thoughts and feelings. They let it slide. It seemed neither had any interest in opening up to the other right now, so they acted like nothing happened. Louis felt bad and glad at the same time. He was glad he did not have to explain himself and he had some time to think about the whole situation. But he felt bad for Harry who seemed like he did not say everything he had to say either.

Louis was almost shocked at how good they both were, at acting as if nothing happened. It took them only 10 minutes to get out of the weird atmosphere and decide on watching a movie to end the evening. They cuddled on the couch and ended up moving it to the bedroom in the middle of the second movie after sharing heated kisses. It seemed so normal and at the same time, nothing felt right. Even when Louis fell a sleep with an already snoring Harry in his arms, it felt distant.

---

The rest of their holiday together was fairly close to perfect. To an outsider it may have looked like it. But they both felt the slight distance that had sneaked it's way in between them. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement they wouldn't talk about the issue while they were on holiday. So they enjoyed their time together and made the most out of it.

When it was time to leave the boat Louis could feel the weird atmosphere between them more than ever. It was not clear where this was going, and it seemed like they needed to agree on how to move on from this.

"So," Louis started unsure where he was going with this conversation. 

"Yeah," Harry seemed to have the same problem. 

"I'm gonna call you?" It sounded like he was asking for permission, and maybe that's what Louis needed. 

"I'd like that," Harry answered shyly. Louis hated this. Hated the situation. Hated himself for not being able to change it right now. Hated to see Harry like this. But he couldn't do anything about it. So he pulled Harry in a tight embrace and almost whispered.

"I will. I promise baby." They let go of each other a tense smile on their faces and parted ways.

---

Louis was pacing up and down in his way to big hotel room. He never understood why they were so huge. He only spent a few hours in here awake anyway and he was only one person. It had been a week since he promised Harry to call him, and he hadn't done it yet. He knew Harry would wait for him to call. It had been their unspoken agreement. And Louis wanted to. He wanted to call Harry so badly. But he did not know what to say and so he did not. And now a week later he felt like he was going to explode with how much he missed Harry. He missed his voice and his laugh. He missed his soft curls and his always-warm body. He missed his big hands and the way they felt on his body. He missed Harry's loving nature and how optimistic he could be.