Compromise Me (Book Two of the Kirkland Family)

Compromise Me: Chapter 36

Arielle looked up into his eyes, still smiling.  “You know what I mean...how do you feel, Travis?”

Ah…so that was it.  “I feel fine,” he said, looking away, moving away, getting away from Arielle and her uncanny ability to know him too well.

“No guilt-ridden explanation for being late, no promises to make it up to Tristan, no letting me pick a fight with you…”  She broadened her smile.  “I guess I should thank Josie for this, too, huh?”

Tristan ran back into the living room, carrying more of an armload than just Shosie’s owl, and Travis asked him if he said bye to Sam yet.  Tristan said, “Uh, oh!  Daddy Sam!”  And then the boy dumped his additions at his father’s feet and ran off again, this time toward the back door.  Travis gazed back at Arielle, assessing her scrutiny and thinking about how much he’d always loved and trusted her to be honest with him, even if it meant steadily trying to pick fights.

“Ari...how did you know?  About Sam?”

“The first time, or the second time?”

“Both.”

Ari perched on the back of her couch and said, “The first time, I was so young.  I didn’t need to know anything else.  I was in love with him, and that was all that mattered to me then.”

“And now?”

“And now...I have Tristan and you,” she said softly.  “To love Sam again meant he had to find a special place in my heart that the two of you haven’t already conquered.  It meant he wasn’t the most important person to me anymore, but when I’m with him, just him, then for those few seconds, he is my whole world.  There’s a fine balance, and some hellish timing,  but to sacrifice any of you just to love the other more...well, there comes a point where that is impossible.”

“You wouldn’t give him up for Tristan?”

Ari laughed wryly.  “When we first started dating again after I had Tristan?  I would have dumped Sam in a heartbeat, if I had to.  Luckily, I stuck it out for a while, and it never came to that.  Right now?  If given the choice, Sam would be the one to sacrifice himself for Trist.  He loves our boy that much, and I love him for it.”  She reached out and grabbed Travis’ hand hanging by his side, holding it between her palms.  “I guess the question you should probably ask yourself is…  Are you still deciding between the two, or are you finally allowing Josie the responsibility?”

Staring down at his larger hand squashed between her two smaller ones, Travis digested her words, and knew that was the exact reason he couldn’t sleep last night.  Josie had been there in his arms, content and beautiful and in love with him, and he had been unable to leave her.  And in a strange way, that scared the shit out of him while energizing him at the same time.  He couldn’t make heads or tails of it.  He knew, if forced to make the choice, his would be Tristan, always Tristan, but he laid there all night, praying to God it never came to that.  He didn’t want to carry that “responsibility,” as Ari put it, by himself anymore.  Sharing it with Josie…  Loving her the way she claimed to love him…  

He didn’t want to have to choose between her and Trist...ever.

“Is it really that simple?” he asked her, a catch in his throat.

“For me, it was,” she replied.  “For you?  I don’t know, and I don’t know what else to tell you, Travis.”

He nodded.  “That helps.  Thanks, Ari.”

She stood up and smiled, pulling him into a hug.  “I’ll tell you what...I’ll refrain from making anymore snarky comments about you and Josie, okay?  I just want you to know, that if you need to talk, then I’m here for you.”