When Skies are Gray

My Life.

My dad, Steve, Nat, and a few other people that I don't really remember, have been in my dads work room for hours.
"Why couldn't we go with them?" I ask my mom as I continue to stare at the stairway leading down to the basement.
"They're working. Once they're finished they will be up here don't worry." She responds with a tender voice.
I know that's not the real reason. The real reason is because last time my dad let me hear the plan I stole an iron man suit and tried to follow to help. After that my dad never let me in the work space again, he also told JARVIS and FRIDAY to never listen to me if I'm trying to activate a suit. Not fair, but he wants me safe, so I never tried again.
Another hour, maybe two, go by. Then Steve comes upstairs. I couldn't quiet tell what kind of expression he had on his face. Shock? Fear? Maybe both?
"Pepper, he really figured it out didn't he? We're getting everyone back?" He said almost in disbelief that Tony could do it.
My mom puts her hand over her mouth, I can tell she could cry, and nods her head. Steve shakes his head.
"I guess it's time to bring the shield back out." He says with a sense of readiness. He lost someone in the blip. My dad mentioned him, I don't know his name. They kept me away from him for a long time because he was "unsafe" and "unpredictable." I never met him, but I know he was Steve's best friend, so he can't be too bad. Either way, Steve lost him just like many others. He wanted to get his best friend back.
********* two days later *********
"Tony, no! It's too soon!" I hear my mother yelling I'm the kitchen.
I walk in but neither of them seem to notice.
"Pepper, we already have the stones. If we wait any longer someone might try and come and get them since they're all in the same place. It's now or never." My dad says embracing my mother in a hug. She was freaking out about this fight. She knew it was coming but didn't know it'd be so soon.
"I know... I know, but just promise you'll come back to me, Stark." She whispers. I don't even know if she meant to say it.
"I'll come back to you. Both of you." My dad responds when he sees me standing in the doorway.
My dad has fought in a lot of battles. He's always won. Nothing has taken him away, so why would this? I walk over and join them in a hug. I believed him. I really believed he'd come back.
Steve, Nat and the other remaining avengers join us later that day, all ready to fight. Even though I can't see color, I can tell their uniforms are different. Instead of seeing different shades of gray, which I learned to be different tones or colors, they're wearing all black. It's like they're preparing for a funeral.
"I'll see you two later." I say to Steve and Nat. I was willing the universe to bring them back to me.
"Don't do anything stupid while we're gone." Steve says and hugs me.
I laugh a little and turn to Nat.
"Look after him will ya?" I say referring to Steve.
"Always." She says with a smile.
Once they leave I see my mom and dad hugging. My mom is crying and my dad is trying to stay calm. For her sake.
"Don't worry, Pepper." My dad says. "I love you."
"I love you." She responds with certainty.
My dad turns to me with that smile he always has.
"Look after your mom for me." He says pulling me into a hug.
"You know I will. But hurry back you're better at it then I am." I say smiling. He's coming back.
"Listen, y/n. I know you've been wanting someone of your own for a while and I know it's hard waiting. But just know, it'll be worth it. For the longest time, I didn't think I'd find my person. Then I found your mother." He glances back at her with admiration in his eyes. "She found me. Just like you will find your person. Don't lose hope."
"I won't, Dad." I say with a grin. He always knows what I need to hear even if I don't know myself.
"I love you 3000." He says then kisses my forehead.
"I love you more, Dad" I say and watch him and the other walk away.
******* a few hours later *******
While I'm sitting in my room I can hear explosions. There has been fights close by before but never so loud that I can hear it clear as day. I hoped my dad was winning, like always. Suddenly, my mother storms into my room with tears in her eyes.
"Y/n, listen very carefully" she says trying to stay calm.
I look at her with concern in my eyes.
"Your father needs me. I'm going to help. You have to stay here. As soon as I leave tell JARVIS to lock down the house and do not let anyone in. Promise me. Now!" She shouts, which startled me.
"I promise, mom. Are you coming back?" I say starting to become fearful.
"I'm going to do everything I can." She says and kisses my cheek.
Then she was gone. This whole time I was trying not to worry because the avengers always won. What's so different this time?
"JARVIS, lock down the house." I say out loud.
"Yes, Miss y/n." The AI system responded.
With the windows and doors blocked by steel, I suddenly can't hear the fight anymore. I wanted so badly to have my parents back, but something inside me makes me think they might not be coming home.
"Y/n?" I hear, thinking I'm dreaming.
"Wake up peanut." I hear again. I flutter my eyes open and jump up when I see Steve standing next to the couch.
"Steve, did we win? What happened?" I ask frantically looking for my mom and dad.
He didn't respond. My heart drops.
"Steve. Where's my mom?" I say, starting to freak out.
"She's fine, y/n. Your mom is fine. She's with your dad." He responds with tears in his eyes.
Ok. They're fine. They're together. Why is Steve crying? Did we lose? At least my family is fine.
It's almost like Steve could read my thoughts when suddenly he says, "Your dad didn't make it y/n."
This is a dream. Wake up. Suddenly, I realize no one else is in the room with us.
"You're lying." I say in disbelief. I pop up and start walking around the house.
"Dad?" I yell and my voice seems to echo more than normal.
"It's not funny come out Dad!" I say louder. I run all over the house shouting for him.
"Y/n he's not here." Steve says following me around.
"He's in his work place isn't he?" I say hopeful.
I walk down the stairs and see all his suits on the wall.
"Dad?" I say with a bit of fear in my voice. Why isn't he coming out?
"I'm telling the truth peanut." Steve says as he puts his arm around me. Suddenly, I get it. My dad is dead. I'm no longer scared. I'm angry. I push Steve off of me and run to my bedroom.
"JARVIS lock my door." I yell and the AI complies without a word. Almost as if he knew I was too mad to hear anyone talk.
Steve knocks gently. "Open the door y/n. I'm here for you let me be with you." He says but I ignore him.
Time slows down. Nothing makes sense. I can't stop thinking about my dad. Did he know I loved him? Did he know he was my favorite person? Did he know I didn't care how protective he was? No one is going to protect me like he did ever again.
Suddenly the world goes dark as a fall into a deep sleep. I wish this would all be over.
My door opens but my eyes stay shut. Maybe if whoever it is thinks I'm asleep they will leave me alone.
"Y/n...?" I hear. The voice is unfamiliar.
"I know you're awake." I hear him say. So I roll over to see who it is.
A boy... man. Kind of young looking.
"I'm Peter." He says. And my eyes fill with shock.
"I know you don't know me. I just wanted to let you know that he saved us. Tony... he saved all of us." He says and suddenly I realize. We won. We did win. But not me or my mom. We lost our protector.
"I was with him. Right next to him actually. He wasn't alone. Mrs. Pepper was there too. We all were. He wasn't alone." Peter keeps talking. It's like he knows that I need to hear this even if I don't respond. As a stare at the floor all I can think is he had everyone but me. I didn't say goodbye.
"My parents died too. It was a long time ago and I don't remember much about them, but I remember the feeling. If you need someone to talk to or someone to just listen, I'm here." He says and turns for the door.
"Stay." I whisper and he turns back quickly.
He nods and comes to sit on the edge of my bed. All the years my dad talked about Peter I didn't think he'd ever come back.
After almost and hour of him talking and me nodding to let him know I'm listening, I speak.
"How well did you know my dad?" I ask not lifting my head.
"When I met him, he was trying to recruit me, well Spider-Man, into the avengers. Once he realized I was a teenager he decided it was best if I stay out of it. Obviously, I didn't give him a choice. He made me a suit, much better than my other one, and he helped train me. I never really knew my dad, but he was like a father to me, well he was the closest thing I had to one." Peter answers with tears forming in his eyes. "I wish I can be like him one day."
"I'm sure you will." I say with a reassuring smile. Even though I hardly know Peter, he made me feel better, which meant a lot.
Steve comes through the door and looks at me with concern.
"How you doing peanut?" He asks with a small smile.
"I'm a little better, thanks to Peter." I say. I can see Peter start to smile.
"Good. I'm glad. Your mom is back, if you want to see her." He says.
My mom. She lost her soulmate. I sprung out of my bed and ran to the lounge where she was sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. Nat was next to her trying to comfort her.
"Mom..." I say almost like a whisper.
Once she sees me she rushes over to me and hugs me. Tighter than ever.
"Oh honey..." she says and I can tell it's painful for her to even speak.
"We're gonna be okay." She adds knowing that's what I needed to hear.
"I know."
********* one week later ***********
As I pin my hair back out of my face I see my mom standing in my doorway.
"Your father loved when your hair wasn't in your face." She says admiring me.
"I know." I say looking into the mirror. Everyone always told me I look like him, I never saw it until now. Maybe because I want to look like him so I remember him.
"You ready?" I turn and ask her.
"Ready as I'll ever be." She says with a shaken voice. She was hurt. Anyone could see that. But I know how strong my mother is and she will make it through this. I will make it through this.
At the funeral, people say nice things about my father. Steve tells all his best stories and everyone laughs.
As we stand by the lake, my mother grabs something out of the car. My dads original arc reactor. "Proof that Tony Stark has a heart." I read through the glass. My mom told me that story a million times. She places the reactor into the lake and we all watch it float away.
Minutes, maybe hours go by as I stay by the lake sitting on the pier. If I squint I swear I can still see it floating away.
"Hey." I hear from a familiar voice.
I turn and see Peter standing next to me. "Could I join you?" He asks. I nod in response.
"You're really strong you know." He says looking at me. "I was young when my parents had a funeral. I didn't understand what it meant. You're strong." He repeats.
"I'm strong for my mom. My dad would want me to be strong so she doesn't have to be." I say calmly.
"You're right. But I just want you to know that you don't have to be strong around me. I know we just met but I can tell we were meant to be friends." He says smiling. I turn and look at him.
"Yeah I can tell too." I respond and return a smile.
Peter makes me feel safe. I know we are meant to be friends, because I still don't see color. If I don't see it with him, I know he doesn't see it with me.
"Have you found your soulmate yet Peter?" I ask almost not meaning to let the words flow out of my mouth.
He glances at me that back down towards the water.
"No. I was 17 when the blip happened. So technically I guess I'm still 17. I'm only in high school and the world is so big. I'm not too rushed to find the one." He says and that's how I felt in high school too. "What about you?" He asks.
"Not yet. But my dad told me that once I do it'll be worth it, just like it was for him when he found my mom." I say remembering the last conversation between my father and I.
"Peter!" I hear from across the lawn. I turn and see Peter's aunt.
"Oh. I gotta go y/n. I will see you later." He says and hugs me before standing up and running to his aunt. He seems happy that he has her in his life. She seems happy too. I don't think she was taken with the blip so she must be ecstatic to have him home.
I hear footsteps coming up behind me and just by how soft they are I can tell it's my mom. She sits next to me and puts my hand into hers.
"He was proud of you. You're his greatest success." She says and I put my head on her shoulder.
"I wish I could see him again. Just one more time." I say. My mother turns my face towards hers and smiles.
"He will always be with us honey." She says reassuring me.
"There's something I need to tell you about." She adds and I sit up and face her.
"When your dad was young. His parents were killed. Do you remember him telling you that?" She asks. I nod.
"Well. We always knew who it was. Or what it was. It was a man people called The Winter Soldier." I turn my head in a confused way. What an odd thing to be called. I kept listening to my mother tell the story.
"We found out that this man was actually kidnapped and tortured and forced to comply with every order. He was brainwashed by a group of people during World War II. These people made him forget everything and the only thing left was the instinct to kill." Why is she telling me all of this?
"This man is James Barnes. Steve's best friend." When she says that I become more confused than shocked.
"We found him and saved him from those people. We took him to Wakanda where they had the technology to fix his brain, the best they could."
This man murdered my grandparents and we saved him. What?
"Your dad hated him at first. Even if he was Steve's best friend. But after realizing the pain James went through and how controlled he was by those people, your father forgave him."
So dad forgave a murderer? Again why is she telling me all of this?
"He's here." She adds
"What?"
"He's here because he made a promise to Tony. When he got his memories back he realized all the horrible things he had done and tried to make amends with all the families of the people he killed. So, he apologized to Tony and Tony forgave him. After you were born we never took you around him because he was still unstable. Right before the blip, we were going to introduce you, but then the blip happened and we couldn't. Y/n he promised your father on the day before the blip that if anything happened to Tony he would take care of me and you." She finished and I understood but at the same time didn't.
Maybe this was his way of making amends to my dad. Taking care of my mom and me.
I didn't like it. But if my dad could forgive the mad who murdered his parents so could I. I can live with that.
"He wants to meet you." She says rubbing my arm.
As I sat there I didn't quite know if I was ready for that. I just lost my dad, now I have to meet a murderer.
"He's not the same man he was when he killed your grandparents. He's better and wants you to trust him. He knows no one will ever replace Tony in your life but he wants you to know he will keep you safe." My mother had a way with words that I will never understand.
"Steve wants you to meet him too." She adds knowing I trust Steve with my life.
Finally, I nod and agree to meet him.
"His name is James?" I ask so I can remember.
"Yes. Let's go meet him." She says and helps me up.
As I walk away from the pier I take one more glance at my father arc reactor floating in the lake.
I love you dad.
We walk inside the lake house and I see a bunch of familiar faces. All the faces I've seen so often as a child or on TV are here for my dad. He really was loved.
I look to the couch and see Steve and Nat sitting with the man I presume is James. They're all facing away from us but I can tell he is very strong, since he looks almost the same size as Steve.
"James... this is y/n." My mother says and Steve and Nat turn around quickly with a smile. I can tell Steve is excited for me to meet him.
The brunette man stood up and I catch a glimpse of a metal arm. I wonder what happened? Suddenly, the world begins to move in slow motion, at least in my head. As he slowly turns around and his eyes meet mine the world doesn't seem so dark and cold anymore. My heart drops when I realize, his eyes are blue. I can see his eyes. And they are blue. My heart drops. I can finally see color because of... him.