The atmosphere in the apartment is increasingly charged as Violet's sobs, combined with the clock's hands that mark the time passing, are the only thing that can be heard. Their embrace continues with Jay feeling grateful that the girl doesn't react to his touch. His heart breaks with every new sob he hears and tries not to move at all. His hands remain protectively around the girl's small body as he tries not to squeeze her at all, so he can make her understand that she can move away whenever she wants. After all, the last thing he wanted was to make her afraid of him.
However, Violet even surprised herself by hiding her head deeper in his chest. Although she thought that when she talked about what had happened to her, she would want to distance herself from everyone, now Jay's hug is the only place that seems right. His steady heartbeat, and his characteristic cologne, a fragrance that had begun to become her favorite since their first meeting in the support group, make her feel safer than ever. She can't help but think about how different his touch is from any touch she's felt lately as he creates small circles on her back trying to calm her down. That man's touch that afternoon was violent, causing her pain and creating scars she would always carry. Her father's touch when they visited her from London to make sure she was okay after the incident was affectionate but careful as if he feared he would break her. But Jay's touch is soft and steady at the same time, full of tenderness giving her the strength she needs and the confidence that he will help her with all her scars. It even makes her desire his touch more.
Beyond Violet, Jay feels exactly the same way. Although he was not someone who used to show his intimacy in such a way, from the first moment he met Violet he wondered how he would feel when he hugged her. And now that his question has finally been answered, he doesn't want to leave her.
They remain still for a long time until Violet's sobs turn into silent tears, and then although neither of them wants to, she is the first to pull away from their hug. She wipes her wet cheeks with her sleeves, sighing about the total breakdown she's just had, and then she blushes as soon as she notices the stains from her tears on Jay's shirt. However, Jay doesn't care about his clothes not even a little, and all he thinks about is how cute she is right now as she's let her guard down in front of him, and how much he wants to stand by her.
"I'm sorry," she apologizes in a hoarse voice, taking him out of his thoughts, and Jay tilts his head confused with her apology.
"I'm very broken, aren't I?" she asks him, frowning with her own words, and the detective smiles sweetly.
"Aren't we all?" he answers her question with another question as he shrugs his shoulders, and indeed he believes he is full of scars too. Besides, he'd proven it more times than he'd like to admit. However, he no longer wants to change anything as he knows his scars were the reason that he met Violet.
She eventually nods to him as if reading his thoughts, and then they stay quiet for a while not knowing how to continue the conversation. What do you say after such a heartbreaking confession?
But suddenly an idea comes to Jay's mind as he quickly decides he's better with actions rather than words. He raises his hand signaling to her with his finger to wait, and as if he has been in her house before, he goes to the kitchen where he earlier noticed a pen. Indeed, on the counter next to her shopping list he finds a pen that makes him laugh at the fact that it has a teddy bear on the top of it that wears a t-shirt with the Union Flag. He returns back to the couch where Violet looks at him confused and then pulls her list out of his pocket.
"Talk about what happened to someone other than your therapist, check!" he announces, giving her both items and Violet widens her eyes as soon as she realizes what he wants her to do.
She smiles eventually, and after she gets the paper and pen in her hands, she erases one of the sentences she had written on the paper. The first sentence, that was generally erased since they had made their lists.
"And I think you're on a very good path to erase your fear of physical contact," Jay proudly declares, referring to their embrace, and Violet nods after processing his words.
"Thank you," she says, ready to cry again, and although she knows she still has a long way to go, she's happy to be able to take another step forward. And the fact that next to her on this step is Jay makes her heart beat even louder.
Before he can tell her anything, her stomach rumbles loudly, making him burst into laughter while she blushes again.
"I'd better go," he announces, even though it's not too late, and he doesn't really want to leave either. But as soon as he gets up Violet's hand stops him.
"Stay," the girl quickly says as she's not ready to be alone, and Jay raises his eyebrows.
"I mean, if you want to and you're not tired, or you don't have anything to do," she rushes to add full of insecurity, and Jay smiles reassuringly as he settles back into his seat. If she needed to feel that things were normal again, he was more than willing to help her.
"So, what do you want to eat?"
"Jay?" Violet asks quietly after a while and the detective takes his gaze off the TV to look at her.
It's dark now, while an 80s movie is playing on TV after some time that it took them to finally come up with a choice. Their now empty dishes are on the coffee table in front of them, and between them on the couch Sparky sleeps quietly, supporting his head at Jay's feet, letting him caress him. Something that made Violet complain, that her pet liked Jay more than her.
"Yes?"
"Are we okay?" she asks him again quietly, expressing the concern she has had for some time now as the events from earlier play on her mind again.
Jay stays still for a while trying to find the right words to reassure her and then decides once again to let his movements take control. He finds the courage and extends his hand over the sofa as he does not want to disturb the dog, and rests it on her shoulder. He squeezes her a little and smiles sweetly at her.
"We are good. And we're always gonna be good," he tells her honestly without taking his eyes off her even for a second, and Violet is sure her heart is about to come out of her chest. Was it possible, after everything she remembered today, to feel that way about a man? She wonders, and then shakes her head, pushing that thought away. She smiles at him, and without being afraid, she rests her hand on his.
"Whatever you need, know that I'm here for you too," she tells him in the same serious but at the same time sweet tone, not knowing that indeed with everything that was going to happen, Jay would need her sooner than they expected. They smile once again at each other and their silence says more than their mouths.
Neither of them is ready to admit anything yet, so they return their attention to the TV in front of them. Neither of them, however, is paying much attention to the film since they are both lost in their thoughts.
Maybe one day, they're both thinking at the same time without knowing it, and that's all they need for now.
आप पढ़ रहे हैं
Scars To Your Beautiful
फैनफिक्शन"But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark You should know you're beautiful just the way you are" Jay's life looks like it's falling apart, and he's slowly losing control. But when his Sergeant and his new partner force him to go to a ps...
