endgame ✦ draco malfoy

speechless

    Draco can be mad at me all he wants but he brought this upon himself. If he had just apologized for everything and took responsibility for his actions, we would in a different place right now. Even if he did apologize and still said that he just wanted to be friends, he wouldn't be sitting here watching Theo and I interact with each other in a flirtatious manner. He possibly could've been the one to be sitting next to me, not Theo.

    As I quickly scanned across the pages of my textbook, trying to find more information on the Water Making Spell, I felt Theo's warm hand grab mine from underneath the table. His fingers interlocked mine and he caressed the back of my hand softly with his thumb. I pressed my lips together and looked down directly at my textbook, trying to contain my smile.

    "How cute", a high pitched voice mockingly said from behind me.

    I quickly let go of Theo's hand and placed it in between my thighs.

    "You two are back together"

    The person walked from behind me to the other side of the table, revealing themselves as Pansy "Pug Face" Parkinson.

    "You don't know what you're talking about", Theo scoffed.

    "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought I just saw you two holding hands underneath the table"

    "I guess you're wrong then because that didn't happen"

    "Poor, Stella", she mocked, pouting her lips. "Couldn't get Draco to tell her that he loves her again so she's running back to Theodore Nott. I wonder how Draco would feel if he found out?"

    "I'm sitting right here bitch", Draco sneered. "Now leave this table before I cover your face in boils"

    "If you need anything, you know where to find me", she smirked, blowing Draco a kiss before leaving our table.

    I got up from our table and walked towards the Charms and Spells section of the library, hoping that on my way there, I can come up with an explanation for what Pansy just exposed to the group.

    If I lie, it's going to bite me in the ass. If I tell the truth, I'm going to make Draco really upset and I'm going to get a lecture from Alex for breaking our promise on never getting involved with Theo or Draco again. From the looks of it, there's no getting out of this and I'm going to make things very complicated for everybody.

    Last year when Draco and I first got together, it caused a riff between all of the boys and I felt guilty about for weeks. Telling the boys about Theo and I possibly getting back together is going to do the same thing and I don't want that, especially since I don't even know what going yet. The only thing that I know for sure is that Theo wants to get back together with me and he said he's going to prove to me that he deserves a second chance. It's not worth splitting the boys up again for something that hasn't even happened yet.

    Once I reached the Charms and Spells section, I took that as an opportunity to look for a book that's going to help me with my term paper.

    "You lied", Draco said walking down the aisle of bookshelves. "You lied about you and Theo"

    "I didn't lie", I said reaching for a random book off the shelf so I don't have to look directly at Draco.

    "Then what was Pansy talking about?"

    "You know how she is. Pansy just wants to start trouble"

    I feel really bad for not being completely honest with Draco.

    "I don't believe you", he said snatching the book from my hand. "Not too long ago, I found you in Theo's bed the morning after a party and you two have been getting awfully close lately"

    "You said that you wanted to be just friends, so why do you care if Theo and I getting close?"

    "Because you told me you didn't love him anymore"

    "I don't..."

    At least I think I don't.

    "And you told me that you aren't back together"

    "That's because we're not"

    "Please be honest with me, Stell", he sighed. "I don't want to be lied to, especially by you"

    "Draco, I am not back together with Theo and if I were, you have no right to be mad at me because you said that we should just be friends yesterday, not me. I thought that you were going to put in the effort to try to makes things right between us, but you didn't want to"

    "I don't know what you want me to do, Stell", he said throwing his hands up.

    "I want you to apologize for everything. I want you to understand that the things you've done the past nine months were hurtful and it made me want to hate you but I couldn't"

    "Then why didn't you just say so?"

    "Because I shouldn't have to. That's the difference you and Theo. He knows when he's wrong and puts his pride aside when it comes to owning up to his shit"

    "Sorry that I'm not Theo", he scoffed.

    Sad how this is Draco's first time saying "sorry" to me and it's not even because he's genuinely sorry for something that he did.

    "I always knew I was never enough for you. How could I be when Theo was in the back of your head when we were together?

    "There you go again", I said rolling my eyes. "When will you grow up and stop playing the victim?"

    "For someone who always claim to love me, you don't sound like you do"

    "Oh, my god", I scoffed. "I can't actually believe you're using that against me right now. I'm going to be straightforward with you, Draco. I loved you when I shouldn't have. Your behavior is unacceptable and if it were anyone else treating me the you do, they wouldn't be breathing right now. I constantly made excuses for you when you didn't even deserve it"

    "I-"

    "And for you information", I continued, cutting Draco off before he could let another word out, "Theo was the one who kept on reminding me that you love me. He always told me that you needed 'time and space' and to not be so 'hard' on you"

    "I... um..."

    "I love you, Draco, I really do, but maybe it's time that I stop because you clearly don't feel the same way", I said taking my book back from Draco's hands. "If we're going to remain as friends, I would really appreciate it if you would stop trying to control everything in my life"

    Draco stood there, looking at me with his glassy eyes. He was stunned that I just laid it all out on him. For someone who always had something to say, even if it's not the nicest thing, Draco is completely mute and it's because he knows that I'm done letting him walk all over me. I can't keep on letting him manipulate my feelings and making me feel bad for doing the littlest thing.

    I hate to be that bad guy in this situation but I have to put my foot down on some things. My biggest mistake in my very complicated relationship with Draco was that I always said I hated the way he treated but I never did anything about it. It's time that I finally give it him straight and stop letting him think that everything he does is acceptable. I love Draco but I have to love myself more and get myself out of something that isn't good for me.