The runaway *a matthew Espinosa fan fiction*

Self-Murder (chapter 17)

Hazel's POV
I come out of the bathroom crying a lot I go in the kitchen and get a Pen and paper, 3 bottles of pills and go into my room and close the door I don't bother locking the door because no one is going to be home for another 3 hours .I have thought about this many times before. But this time I know it's real.

I get out my blade and set everything up. the whole time every hurtful thing everybody has ever said to me is going through my head then I start to write

Dear Matthew Lee Espinosa,
I wish you would have loved me forever like you promised. You meant everything to me.You moved on and so am I. I wanted to stay with you but you didn't want to stay with me.Im human and I can't stay in a world where everyone hates me.I lost my fight please don't loose yours because of me.You never helped me through this. It isn't your fault.I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye I love you forever and always. Goodbye.
Love,
Hazel Elizabeth Rose

Dear Cameron Alexander Dallas ,
You were like my big brother then one day you kind of left me. I lost myself and can't find my way back. Please don't blame yourself.I want you to know you were right Matt did break my heart. I'm sorry this world is just not my place.I love you like if I knew you for a lifetime. I'm so so sorry .Goodbye.
Love
Hazel Elizabeth Rose

Dear Hamilton Nash Grier,
You are like my second brother.this isn't your fault.I have loved you ever since I met you. I wish we had more time together. No one wants me here I don't know why. Everyone wants me to go.Please stay strong.Im sorry I didn't say bye. Goodbye.
Love
Hazel Elizabeth Rose

Dear everyone who every bullied or hurt me,
You're right there's nothing for me here. I'm just a waist of space. I am doing this because of you. This is what you wanted isn't it. Im just making you happy. I have no friends. No family.While I am doing this every thing you ever said to me is going through my head. It makes this a whole lot easier. Im sure you wanted to see me do this but sorry to disappoint you again.Goodbye.
Sincerely
Hazel Elizabeth Rose

* she wrote a letter to all the other guys including Marissa*

I stacked all the letters in a pile an left them on my dresser. I got my blade and slit my veins on both my wrists. Then I Took the bottles and swallowed all of the pills. 1 bottle done. 2 bottles done. I finished the 3 rd bottle when everything went black

Matt's POV
I'm driving to hazels house I have to tell her what actually happened with that girl at magcon. I skipped practice today.I haven't talked to hazel in about a week every since she kicked me out of the hotel room.

School has been really bad to hazel lately. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything to anyone because I didn't think she would want my help. Ever since I told the guys she broke up with me they ignored her even Nash.

I got to her apartments and go to hers. I knock and wait a little bit she should be home so I let myself in and call her name. I go up to her room and knock again I open it and see bottles on the floor. Then I see hazel laying on her bed. Blood everywhere. All the bottles were empty.

"Hazel!!" I scream I dial 911 and tell them
Then I do the only thing I can think of I pick her up and take her into the shower I turn it on with her on my lap and stick my fingers down her throat and she gags a little then throws up I do it again and again and again she is still unconscious. I take off my shirt and rip it. I tie the two pieces around her wrists and hold her rocking her back and foward.

"Hazel please don't go stay with me,stay with me I need you, you can't leave Hazel please don't go wake up, wake up, wake up ."

I hear sirens and then men running up the stairs. I scream for them and they come. They put hazel on the bed thing an take her away. I follow then into the Ambulance and ride with them to the hospital.

I hold her hand and don't let go we get to the hospital and I keep following them

"Sir you can't go back there" a nurse says to me

I just ignore her and keep following them then two guys take me away I scream her name over and over. They take me to the waiting room and leave me there .

I call cam .It rings for a little bit then he picks up
Matt:cam come to the hospital I don't care what you are doing nothing is more important than this
Cam:Matt slow down what's wrong
Matt: she tried to kill her self cam.why would she do that
Cam: Who Matt!
Matt:Hhhhazel...

He doesn't answer the phone just hangs up.

I call all the other guys to come to .

I go to the front desk and ask about hazel the lady says she doesn't know anything yet.

"Matt" I hear someone yell it's the guys. I run and hug them I keep crying and crying and crying. I can't stop. It's my fault. I should have talked to her earlier. I should have stood for her.
I shouldn't have ignored her. I'm so stupid

The guys calm me down I just keep crying and crying and crying.its not fair. she can't leave.

*3hours later*

A doctor comes out "Hazel Rose" he says

We all stand up

"Family only" we still walk towards him

"Guys!" Cam yells they all sit down except me and nash

"She is okay for now." the doctor says
"What do you mean for now!" I scream
"Sir calm down...she is in a coma"
"Can I see her"-Matt/ cam/nash
"Yes...one at a time"
"Let me go first"-Matt

They let me go first. I walk in and completely break down. Her face is pail and her wrists are wrapped up. She was hooked to a lot of machines . I walk up to her and grab her hand.

Hazel please don't go.

Then nash came in handed me 2 letters and left . I didn't let go of her hand. I read the letter to me and a letter to everyone who hurt her. This hurts me so much. It's my fault

"Hazel... I don't know if you can hear me but I want you to know. It's was carter. That girl kissed me and carter held my head against her I couldn't pull away...please don't go. I need you."