Meant to be

Ch 20 contd....

Shehnaaz gave him a death glare and tried to calm herself, him his behavior, her feelings, the churning inside of her, the yearning for that which is not a reality yet the anticipation of that it was all very overwhelming for her. Sidharth was so accessible to her and yet he was so unattainable, then why did he give such strong vibes of proximity. Even if she took a long hard critical glance at their relationship as it stood today there was no denying that there was chemistry and attraction and a whole of care and concern. But why? Why did he feel the need to feed this unsaid waiting to be birthed yet could never take life emotion between them. For now she decided that she would be candid with what was bugging her and she voiced it out as plain as day and said "tu na jo tipanni dusro ko detha hai na Khud samajh liya kar, tujhay nahi dikh raha hai ki shehzaadi aur uskay Prince jo kaam ko lekar drama kar rahaein hain voh galat hai aur tu ab unkay game mein as raha hai unko aisay galat mudho pey support karkay apnay aap ko galat dukha raha hain. Just asim captain ban Gaya isiliye? Wow yaar, fair khelo aur jeeto aisay phaltoo ke harkath karnay sey jeetkay kya faaidah." Sidharth was gobsmacked at what she said. And she was not entirely wrong, but Sidharth also knew that when Paras and Mahira were willing to shortchange themselves and their ethics for the game he would never stop them, primarily they were not as important to him and if they were doings things to lighten his load then why would he stop them. None of this could be articulated to the ball of cuteness who sat in front of him so he chose to fall back on pulling her leg. And he just felt this surge of emotions well up within him for her and he felt a pang of regret that he could not be as vocal or as tactile as he truly could be, so for now he settled in for getting up and sitting on her with his full weight and she screeched "sidhaaaaaarthhhhh kya kar raha hai, uth unnnhunnnnhh uth na kuttay" and because it was her she ended up giggling and making him chuckle and he got up but only to swiftly capture her legs between his and pin her shoulder down and brought his forehead to hers and rasped into her "I could bite you now, that's how cute you are, chal abhi andhar chal and oil lagga, Saala asim ko captain bananay ke chakra mein jo mera dimaag sadaya hai na tunay, min two hours kar, chal ab andhar chal," saying this he quickly and subtly nipped her nose and chuckled when she yelped in pain.

The rest of the day they were playing an extremely dangerous yet flirty game with each other, taunting, pushing pulling, it was almost like an emotional foreplay which confused Shehnaaz and the housemates watching them as well. The only person who was firmly in the know was Mr.Shukla and from taking over her waxing to taunting to teasing to falling on top her to hugging Arti he did it all, partly to rile her on and partly because this was the only way he could engage her without giving anything away for the cameras.

That day was going to be representative of a crucial phase in their relationship, for Shehnaaz the taunt of Paras and Mahira being called fake and jealous stuck in a very raw way, she could not unsee Sidharth and Arti getting cosy either. For Sidharth seeing asim and rashmi use her and belittle her by always bringing Paras into the fore and also seeing how easily she fell into that trap frustrated him to no end. But strip away all this, the truth remained that both of them wanted an assurance from each other, an assurance that quite frankly was unnecessary and had well passed its times because they over and over showed it to each other that emotionally,mentally and physically they had surrendered to the other but through the fog of the pressure of the game, their own insecurities about themselves and the crowded space they were in that which should have been obvious was not.

Their gnawing at each other insecurities continued well into the next day, and as Sidharth had rightly judged, the show both within the house and what was being aired greatly run on these two and there were literally no private moments between the two of them and now shefali bagga had entered into the equation making things worse. Since morning Shehnaaz was going about doing all the duties as assigned to her and this was getting on Sidharth's nerves as he saw it as her going out of her way and obliging someone who had no value for her, what Sidharth did as his genuine concern for someone whom he considered his own Shehnaaz misconstrued as being driven by Paras's agenda against her. The painful gridlock was that both were right from their own perspectives. Somehow realising that Shehnaaz was vulnerable Sidharth went out of his way to snuggle upto her and in spite of the irritation of having bagga and others as audience he did try and get his point across to her, but this was the frustration and the admirable thing about the girl he had fallen hook line and sinker for....she never gave into anything or admitted anything that did not come naturally to her.