FIX ME

FIX ME CHAPTER 16 --- FINALE

After a few more seconds of waiting, Jessica was still in shock and hasn't responded. Phillip took a deep breath and he turned his attention towards the media, who were all patiently waiting for his answer. They all look like vultures ready to snatch their prey.

"Yes... it's Jessica Sanchez," he softly admitted, his voice sounding disappointed because of Jessica's lack of response. As if the media expected his answer, there were no expressions of surprise among them anymore. But the silence was still there. It's as if they are waiting for Phillip's further explanation. 

And explain, he did, much to the mortification of the woman seated beside him. His ex-girlfriend looked green in the face. His head publicist was sporting the same look. But at the moment, Phillip doesn't really care anymore. He started this; he'll make sure to end this. And if he can help it, he was vying for the 'happy ever after' ending.

"It didn't happen abruptly, yah know," Phillip started with a light tone. He wants to explain this in a proper way to make the media understand how it happened. "It really started as a special friendship. Not the romantic type though. Just a very special friendship between two different people," he admitted with a smile on his face as he bravely gazed at the crowd of journalists. "It started during the final two. I mean I started to feel something for her way before that, but it was still so vague back then. My feelings became a little bit during the finals, but as you can see, I did not do anything because it was still confusing."

No one said anything, but they were still all looking at him with interest; their recorders on their hands. Phillip took a deep breath and continued.

"I... I was in denial. After all, I have someone who loves me and I believe I love her too back then," Phillip said, gazing briefly at his ex-girlfriend. She gave him a small smile, which he returned. Even though he is in love with someone else now, Phillip had loved her. He owed a lot to her.

"This is quite cheesy, man," Phillip said, getting pink in the face, "but I couldn't stop my heart from feeling what it needs to feel anymore. My mouth can lie; my mind can lie; but my heart cannot. I couldn't stop it from falling in love with a very special girl." He whispered the last part, but the smile remained on his face, his gaze suddenly far, as if reminiscing.

"We've been through so many tough times together, Jessica and I," he said. "I knew there will be complications if I pursue with my feelings. She's young and barely legal. And as you can see, I'm an old, old man." His last statement elicited a few laughs from the audience, but no one dared talked. It's as if they all have a silent agreement to let Phillip finally bare his heart out.

And bare his heart out, he did. Phillip suddenly has verbal diarrhea. He couldn't stop talking, much to the delight of the hungry press.

"I tried so very hard to ignore her, to deny my feelings for her. I hurt her so much because of my stubbornness. But you know, every time I hurt her, I hurt myself twice in the process. Because it literally destroys my heart seeing her cry because of my stupidity. Yes, I am stupid. Stupid enough to deny this for so long. A friend of mine kept telling me what an idiot I am and I didn't listen to him," he admitted. Phillip heard a gasp from the back, which he knows is from Jessica, but he did not look at her this time. He knows he will get distracted if he did and he needs to say everything because he might not have another chance. Phillip also heard a snort, which was probably from Heejun, and a chuckle, which was probably from Deandre.  

Phillip continued to look at the press people. "I am so tired of denying my feelings. So here I am telling ya'll how I feel about Jessica Sanchez. I love her. I am in love with her. If she'll allow me, I'm never letting her go."

His last statement was said so strongly that it finally seemed to awaken the media from their temporary stupor. One of them raised a hand and Phillip wearily acknowledged him.