Breathe

Chapter 14: What She Feels

Normal. Such a funny word to her now. She knew how things went from here. The whispers and looks. Everyone would try to shield her from things. The pity in their eyes too. There was no going back to normal. Though she had found that at least her intern friends, Bailey, Callie, and some of the attendings, including Addison, showed no pity at all. Richard seemed to look at her with some sort of pride. Her friends aside from Izzie, who might as well have done a full 180, were the same way they had always been.

'Maybe normal isn't really necessary.' Aelwyne considered.

"Heeeeyyyy! Sickly mama how you doing?" Cristina waltzed in along with Meredith who kept on shushing her.

"Cristina. They will throw her out of the hospital because of you." Meredith said with a huff.

"Sickly mama? Get a better nickname Cristina." Aelwyne chuckled.

"Yeah not too good. Sorry. I'll keep Angel Eyes. I think it goes better with McHot's other nickname." Cristina laughed.

"Any good surgeries today?" Aelwyne asked trying to change the subject as quickly as possible.

"Appy." Meredith said.

"Sutures." Cristina replied bitterly.

"Ooof not very fun today." Aelwyne chuckled.

"At least I'm not stuck on a bed." Cristina said with a wicked grin.

"Cristina you're annoying." Meredith said playfully.

"You got to do surgery. You have no say." Cristina protested.

"You got to be out of this room and this hallway. I am stuck. But I'll figure out a way. I'll sneak right out to the ER and do stupid sutures." Aelwyne said sitting up on the bed.

"You are not gonna do nothing. You'll stay there if not I'll tell McHot." Cristina said, raising her brow with another grin.

"Don't call her that." Aelwyne begged.

"Why? Is it only you that gets to now?" Cristina continued.

"Cristina stop." Aelwyne begged once more.

"Am I missing something?" Meredith asked innocently.

"Dude really? You haven't seen how Angel Eyes looks at Satan? Or how Satan stares at Angel Eyes?" Cristina asked incredulously.

"Cristina." Aelwyne warned.

"What I didn't say McHot?" Cristina whined jokingly.

"Wait?" Meredith said, finally understanding.

"You are slow. It's the whole McDreamy thing." Cristina chuckled.

"Ael..." Meredith began.

"Please don't. I don't even know why or how or if this is actually something or if Cristina is seeing things that aren't true. I don't know." Aelwyne said her gaze falling to the ground.

"I wasn't going to ask. I was gonna say that I think it's pretty and nice and sweet and you deserve it if you want it." Meredith said with a smile squeezing Aelwyne's hand.

"I think you should stop being a coward and just go for it." Cristina added.

"Go for what exactly? My life is a mess. A total and complete mess. Her life was a mess and she is trying to fix it. I don't want to ruin that for her. I don't want her to have to deal with me. I don't want her to see just how broken I am. I am broken." Aelwyne replied, her eyes filling up with tears.

"You aren't broken." Meredith started. "Stop being all dark and twisty. You are not broken. Wanna know why? Because when a piece falls off, you have us to put it back in place. To fix it all over again."