UMMA KHALTHUM (Book One)

Chapter 7: Istikhara.

My head spinned as I dragged my feet lazily to my room.

Abu called me after I came back from Aunt Neehal's chamber saying he has found a suitable girl for me to marry.

I obliged remembering I was the one who gave him the right to find a girl for me, but what i didn't know was that he was going to find one this soon.

I wasn't ready, what they all think is that Ameer needs a mother but, what about me?

I dialed Affan's number, and he picked up on the third ring.

"Baba how far?" He said on the other side of the phone making me roll my eyes, i wasn't in the mood for any greetings.

"Abu has found a match for me".
I said rubbing my temples with my two fingers.

I heard him sigh on the other side.
"Who is it?".

"I don't know either" I answered, worry evident in my voice.

"Honey" I heard Aisha's voice call out for Affan on the other side.

"Babe I'm coming " Affan answered before returning the phone back to his ear.

I have forgotten that Affan has a family that needs him more than anything at the moment, I was being selfish.

Damn it!

"Look......" Affan started, before I caught him off.

"Go to your wife, she needs you". With that I didn't wait for his reply and hung up.

I was changing positions on my king sized bed but i couldn't sleep how could I ? I feel horrible, I feel like I'm deceiving her, we promised we'll love each other till our last breath , she kept hers why can't I keep mine?

Istikhara is the best option in this situations, I performed ablution and prayed my istikhara, I read the holy Qur'an before going back to bed.

I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes ready to welcome anything coming my way I didn't know when I drifted to sleep, even though it often doesn't happen on the same night, I surely hope mine does, because time wasn't on my side.

Everywhere was dark and all I could see was a little light that was shining at the far end, I wanted to reach out to that light but something was holding me back.

"Go my love, go to her she's the one for you don't let her go" her angelic voice echoed.

"Malak" I whispered, looking around, not believing that she was here.

But I couldn't see anything, all I could see was darkness, that was starting to overpower me.

"Go, go my love you need light, and all I can give you is darkness, please go to her, me and her will protect you from the evil of that woman, Go." Malak said again, from her voice I can tell she was crying.

"No, no, no" I shook my head also on the edge of breaking down.

"She will take very good care of our son, believe me, go to her my love she is the one for you and my Ameer"

The darkness was making my head spin.

"Go" she whispered.

I didn't budge I was still standing, I wanted to be close to my Malak and not anyone else.

"Go" she shouted this time around.

Like I was just waiting for her to I ran to the light, but it seems the darkness was following me. I increased my speed and ran with all my might. The light, I was getting closer.

A woman with beautiful black hair, she was wearing a white dress and her hair was plaited beautifully, her back was facing me so I couldn't see her face, she brought out her hand from behind without turning back.

I was running slow I'm starting to get tired, she turned a little and I could only see her side view. I felt like energy was forcefully installed into me and I started to run very fast.

I was getting closer and closer to her hand.

The darkness was swallowing me little by little.

I got a hold of her hand and before the blink of an eye , the darkness that was beginning to swallow me minutes ago turned to light.

She was turning slowly but before I could see her face..

I was a sweating mess when woke up.

I repeated "Inallilahi waina ilahin rajiun" countless times, trying to steady my breathing.

I didn't know the meaning of this dream, but I could only understand one thing that I had been trying so hard to avoid for the past few years, Malak was gone and she was never going to come back.

I thank God for showing this to me sooner.

I couldn't go back to sleep that night so I performed ablution prayed nafila and started to read the holy Qur'an.

I find this chapter cringey wallahi, I can't even read it. Just I'm sorry😂

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With love
Maimu👑🤍