internet idiots

Attack on Connie [chapter 30]

"Me too," Annie hummed.

"Shut up! I'm just mentally hilarious!" you snapped back.

"Why is there a flying ship near my barn?" Connie asked, just now having joined the world and call.

"Run," was all Sasha answered.

"You built the thing near Connie's barn?!" Mikasa started laughing, finding the situation she once found terrifying amusing.

"What's built near my barn? Are me and my animals in danger?!" Connie started panicking.

"If you want to survive," Eren started, "Run."

"You're not helping my anxiety!" Connie shouted, starting to open the pens and pulling out food to lure the animals away.

"Shut up Eren! He doesn't need help!" you snapped, not wanting Connie or his animals to get away alive.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Eren sighed before muting himself.

"What's going on?!" Connie asked frantically.

"Historia, sweetie, please mute yourself," Ymir said before her girlfriend could answer, the blonde doing exactly as she was told.

"Jean, you know I love you, right?" Marco said with an innocent smile, though innocence was anything but what he had.

"You want me to mute myself too, don't you?" Jean sighed.

"That would be appreciated!" the freckled male chirped, his boyfriend muting himself as requested.

"So Annie," Armin said with the kindest voice he could muster. "You're the love of my life."

"Muting myself now," she said before pushing the button.

"Connie, you're on your own," Sasha said, muting herself even though she wasn't asked to.

"What the hell?!" he asked, completely confused.

Mikasa cackled at his oblivious state. Poor Cailluo didn't know what was coming...

"This things is so cool!" Ymir's jaw dropped.

"How long did this take you to make?!" you exclaimed, your materials of destruction in your hot bar.

"A few hours," Armin answered, "And all you have to do for the cannons to work is pull the levers with the same number as written on the sign."

"Got it," Marco nodded, jumping off the ship and using a water bucket to keep him alive before sneaking over to Connie's barn, you and Ymir following his lead.

"It's quiet. What the heck are you guys planning?" Connie asked, visibly more calm since he sense any threats nearby.

"Nothing," Armin answered, easily being able to lie through his teeth without changing the octave of his voice.

"Mhm," Connie hummed, his guard dropping even further, as he trusted Armin the most out of the people who weren't muted on the call.

"Dumbass," Eren yelled, his voice faintly being heard through Armin's mic.

"Shuddup," Mikasa shushed him.

"Plant the thing," you whispered to Marco, Connie being in his own little world so he didn't pick up what you said.

"Roger that," he nodded, carefully placing the explosives everywhere and being mindful of Connie's character so he didn't hear the sound of him placing a block.

"Ymir, start placing blocks of wood and lining them up with the thing and light it once you're a pretty good distance away. The fire should spread and by the time Marco is finished and out of the area everything should work," you ordered.

"And what about your thing?" Armin asked.

"I'll wait until their thing happens," you said back.

"And then I can fire my cannons?" he asked.

"Yes," you answered, running back to the ship as you watched Marco and Ymir work on their setups for mass destruction.

"All done," Marco hummed, climbing back onto the ship with Ymir directly behind him.

"And the fire should touch the first piece of TNT any second now," Ymir reported. And as if on cue, the first TNT exploded, which lead to a chain reaction of all the other pieces exploding, which lagged the server by a lot.

"HOLY SHIT!" Connie screeched upon seeing the first explosion near his house.

"You can unmute yourselves now!" Armin chirped.

"It's so laggy," Eren groaned.

"I warned you, I really did," Sasha sighed.

"Die," Mikasa cackled at Connie's demise.

"My cows!" Connie shouted, his cows taking the first hit and the next one going to his pigs. "No no no no no!"

"Ah man," Marco sighed, "The TNT is almost out..."

"Which thing is next?" you asked, this time talking to Armin.

"Cannons since they're the less destructive of the two," he answered.

"Yessir," you hummed, watching as he moved towards the control panel and shot more TNT at Connie.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! THERE'S MORE?!" Connie shrieked.

"Dang it, I forgot I gave some to Annie a while back, so I'm almost out," Armin sighed after about two minutes of him firing at the baldy.

"It's all good," you mused, "I still have my thing!"

"Oh shit," Eren cursed, "I am not going to be playing if you spawn that thing."

"Then log off," Ymir stated.

"Bye," he said before disconnecting himself from the server.

"Same," Historia hummed, logging off as well.

"Is that all?" Connie sighed, only having his sheep still alive.

"Yeah," you lied, starting to place the soul sand in the correct arrangement, making sure you were close to Connie.

"Thank Go—" Connie started to say, but stopped when he saw the health bar of the Wither pop up. "NO-!"

And then everybody else logged off, leaving Connie to suffer alone.

"That's what you get for eating my leftovers," Armin smirked, quietly letting the words fall out of his mouth as he slowly turned in his chair to look at Connie.