Settle Down

Chapter 7: The tax benefits would be nice.

Wait.

Love?

You don't know when exactly it happened but you found yourself in the very situation you swore to yourself you wouldn't get into. You were completely in love with Spencer.

Your inner turmoil was interrupted by a hand tapping your shoulder. You look up to see Spencer, who had left your lap to sit next to you. "Hey, you okay? I've been calling your name for 2 minutes."

Fine, just having a metal break. You think. "Sorry, I'm just distracted. Why what's up?"

"I said, I'm about to go into the kitchen. Did you want ice cream?"

He's really making it hard to not love him. "Uh, yea sure."

"Do you think she'll get bullied?" Spencer says when he comes back, handing you the bowl of ice cream. "The baby?"

You shrug. "I think if she's like you, her intelligence could intimidate people and people are often cruel but I also know that that very intelligence will be the thing people love about her." You say, Spencer smiles brightly at you and you feel your heart crack. Spencer reaches over you and grabs the remote.

"Finding Nemo?" He asks.

You smile. "Yea sure."

———————————————-

Misfortune comes, no matter how much you don't want it.

And for you, it comes in the form of Dr. Savannah Brown.

On paper, she's great. A Harvard graduate, 2 PhDs in psychology and criminology, Justice Department experience, a 172 IQ score. A perfect temporary replacement for Dr. Spencer Reid when he goes on paternity leave. She was great, and you were sure she was going to do a great job. But something Derek said to you that morning had thrown you off.

You were waiting for your kettle to finish boiling looking out into the bullpen where you saw Spencer excitedly gesturing as he explained something to Savannah, who he had been training for a couple of days. You couldn't help the soft look that came across your face as you watched Spencer's smile from across the room.

"Someone's got a crush~" Derek says, in a sing-songlike tone. You immediately come out of it.

"W-What're you talking about?" You say, defensively. Attempting to deflect the attention from you.

"Dr. Brown has got it bad for pretty boy." He laughs. "Look at her."

Derek's right. You don't know how you didn't see it before but as soon as it's pointed out to you it becomes obvious. The long laughs coming from her, the hand that would linger on his shoulder, the smiles she would give him when she thought no one was looking. She did have a crush on Spencer, and Spencer of course, was oblivious to it.

"What're you gonna do about it?" Morgan asks.

"Nothing, Spencer is free to date who he wants." You shrug. It might literally kill me, but he is. You think to yourself. "We're just friends."

"Come on, Oz." Derek laughs. "You really want me to believe you guys are still just friends. You're living together but just as friends, having a baby but just as friends. Next thing, you're going to tell me you're getting married but just as friends."

"We could, the tax benefits would be nice." You say, sarcastically, before grabbing your tea to drink in your office, you suddenly felt too sick to your stomach to stay in the breakroom.

Later, you are watching Spencer cook dinner from your perch on the kitchen island. Spencer wasn't the best cook, but if he didn't get distracted he could follow any recipe pretty well. You knew it was probably unwise, but you had to ask it was going to keep bothering you if you didn't.

"So..." You started, Spencer turned at the sound of your voice. "What do you think of Dr. Savannah?"

"Oh, she's great." Spencer says, turning back to the pot of sauce he was stirring. "She's very smart and gets along with the team so I'm sure she'll do great while we're gone."

"Oh yea, she's cool." You nod. "....Do you think she's pretty?"

Spencer fully turns to look at you when you say that. Raising an eyebrow inquisitively at you, "I mean, yea sure, she's pretty. Why?"

You shrug. "Just asking..... Do you like her?"

"I mean, yes, I like her and think she's a nice person. But I imagine that's not what you're actually asking."

"I was talking to Derek earlier and we think she has a thing for you."

"A thing?"

"Yea, like a crush." You reiterate. "And I was just saying if you also have a thing for her, you should ask her out."

"You want me to ask her out?" Spencer asks, confused.

No, I want you with me. I want early mornings and late nights in your arms again. I want you to love me as much as I love you. "If you want to." You shrug. "I don't want to be the thing that's holding you back."

Spencer looks awkward for a second. "I honestly didn't think of her that way. I don't think anything's going to come of it, ok?" He says, turning his back to you to make your plate.

You try not to look excited behind him. "I was just saying that if you want to date her or anyone for that matter, you can. I want you to be happ–"

"Y/N, will you drop it! I don't want to date anyone else!" He snapped. You look up at the man in shock. He sighs, bringing a hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. You and our baby are my top priority right now so I'm not focused on dating and I probably won't be for a long time." He places the bowl of food in front of you. "Make sure you take your vitamins after you eat." He says.

"You're not going to eat with me?" You ask.

"I'm not really hungry anymore. I'll eat later." He says, before leaving you alone in the kitchen.

Later that night, you toss and turn for what feels like hours. You couldn't sleep, something in you made you feel so incredibly alone that despite sleeping in a bed alone for almost 28 years of your natural life. You don't know when you decided it but pretty soon your bare feet are hitting your cold floor and walking towards Spencer's door. You knock before you talk yourself out of it. Spencer answers after a while, in only a pair of sweats. Your eyes can't help but drift down his chest for a second, a sight you hadn't seen since your baby making phase and didn't know you missed.

"Were you asleep?" You whisper.

"Not yet, but I was getting there." Spencer says, now you felt bad because you knew how hard it was for Spencer to sleep. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, uh- nothing's wrong it's just..." You trail off. "I couldn't sleep, I think the baby wanted to be near you tonight. Can I sleep in here?"

Spencer doesn't say anything but does move out the doorway so you take that as a yes. You take it upon yourself to crawl under the covers, Spencer joining you not long after. You feel him cuddle up behind you, placing an arm around you so his hand was resting against your baby bump.

"Is this okay?" He asks.

"Yes, thank you." You say. The two of you drift into comfortable silence as sleep takes over but something Spencer said earlier was still bothering you and you had to ask.

"Spencer?" You whispered.

"Hmm?" He calls, clearly almost asleep again.

"Earlier when we were talking about dating, you said you weren't interested in dating anyone else." You feel the man stiffen slightly next to you. "And if you had said anyone, I wouldn't have thought anything of it but you said anyone else. What did you mean?"

You feel Spencer blow a breath behind you before just pulling you closer to his body. "Go to sleep, Y/N." He says, effectively ending the conversation.

You take that as your cue to close your eyes and drift off. You were probably reading too much into it anyway.

Right?