Thoughts and Irritations

Fair Warning - these may not make sense in any way, shape, or form but it's for me to express my opinions and thoughts without feeling like I'm burying a problem.

Are you a hypocrite? Is anyone in your family a hypocrite? That's a yes for me. Everyone in my family is a hypocrite, even me. I tend to work on it more though. I try to stop calling people out for the things that I do or stop doing the thing that annoys me. Either way, at least I try.  When you realize that you are living within a family of hypocrites then you know that you are screwed. Sometimes it's different. Some people can't watch a certain show on their tv that someone else can, for me it's my opinions and thoughts. I can't voice my opinions or share what I think about a situation. And it always ends in judgment. No matter what I say it either ends in "you are being so disrespectful" or "why would you even remotely think this way". Sometimes I'll get the occasional "Why are you so different around other people?" Why? WhY!? Because no matter what the HELL I DO IT'S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH IS IT!? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? NO ONE IS PERFECT YOU KNOW! Why do you expect me to be? What's so different in me that you don't see in everyone else? I never understand where these thoughts are going but right now I want to focus on family. In my house, family is your blood. You can have friends that you think of like family, but honestly, they are never treated like family. To me, a family doesn't start or end with blood. I can be closer to my best friend than my own brother. Do you know why? Because of love. Because a family member is stuck with you, you don't choose them and they don't choose you. They can be the most annoying thing in the world but everyone will say," Come on, you love him, he's your brother." Why does his relation to me depict whether or not I love him? if I don't, what will it change and why? I will still act the same but everyone else becomes quiet and feel they have to walk on eggshells around me. I never understood family views because I guess I'm going through the "teenage years" as my parents call it. Everything I do is dependant on my age apparently. It can never be because it's how I feel, it's all because of my age. Thanks for reading and I hope you didn't completely hate it. Sorry for wasting your time.