endgame ✦ draco malfoy

first night back

    "Your hand over my mouth is", he mumbled into my hand. Theo's wet warm tongue then grazed against the palm of my hand, making me gag and wipe my hand on his coat. "Ha! That's what you get", he laughed.

    "Grow up", I scoffed.

    "Don't be so prissy, Stell. You know you love me", he said throwing his arms around my shoulders.

    "I do love you, I just don't love it when you act like a little boy"

    Draco scoffed and got up from his seat, exiting the compartment. I tried to get up from my seat so I could follow him out but Theo put his hand and my shoulder, pushing me back down on the seat.

    "Just leave him alone. I think hearing you say that you love me struck a nerve with him"

    "I didn't mean it like that", I sighed.

    "I know that and I think Draco knows that, but it still doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when he hears it. For a long time, he wanted to hear you tell him that you love him. He's just dealing with his emotions in a really weird way"

    "Why can't he just deal with his emotions like a normal person?", I groaned, throwing my head back.

    "Because he's never felt this way before. Draco is used to having this barrier built up and you were the first person to break it down. You just need to give him time"

    "I given him so much time, Theo. I've given him all the time in the world. It took me months to tell him that I love him. It's starting to feel like he only told you that he loves me just to get me to say it"

    "That's not true. Draco loves you"

    "How do you know that? It's not like he's done anything to show it"

    "Draco has never felt this way before. I can tell that it kills him inside when you're with someone else. He misses you, he just needs to figure out how to say like a mature person"

    Theo is making it so hard to get over Draco. He keeps on saying things that makes me feel bad and want to hold Draco in my arms. I always knew that Draco can sometimes be cold because he likes to keep his feelings guarded, but I didn't know that I was the only person to warm him up. Draco never told me personally how I make him feel, it's always Theo doing all of the talking.

    I want to move on from Draco, I really do, but I can't stop feeling a little guilty that I used the word "love" with Theo. I shouldn't have said in front of Draco, but I say it to everyone. I say it to Stass all of the time. Maybe it's different because Theo and I dated in the past, and Stass and I didn't.

    When Theo and I were dating, Draco had a hard time with it. He had feelings for his best friend's girlfriend for years. He had to sit back and watch me give Theo all of my love and attentions. By the time Draco had me, he had to wait even longer for me to tell him that I love him. He's been waiting for most of his life and I told him that I love him too late. Telling Draco after Christmas was a mistake and I should've just kept it to myself until Draco and I were in a good place. In the moment, I felt like I needed to tell him because I was afraid to loose him and I ended up loosing him anyways.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    After I made sure all of the first years were in their dorm rooms, I sat down on the black leather couch by the fireplace and waited for Draco to finish with his first years. I twirled my black hair around my finger, anxious about what Draco is going to say to me once he comes up from the Boys' Dormitories.

    Throughout the rest of the ride to Hogwarts, Draco hasn't said a word to me. Every time we would accidentally look at each other, he would just scoff at me and turn to look in another direction. He would even purposely throw that stupid ball of light in my eyes whenever Theo and I talk to each other.