RomCom One shots

Kwento about our Final Breakup

So this is the real me. The author talking, about my first ever relationship with 3rd sex. I classified myself as bisexual when I started dating her, a lesbian. And I loved her, well I still do, but still, there are times that enough is enough. We've hurt each other, specially her. I think I stepped real hard on her ego and we both have strong personality so maybe that is why.

Back on April 2018, I started working here at Paranaque, but I'm from Bulacan, fresh from graduation so this is my first job. She's my first friend at work and she got herself a girlfriend back then but broke up by June 2018, believe me it's not about me but their toxic relationship about lending money and not paying her back by her ex.

Let's say I'm A and she's B.

A: So what happened? you finally ended it with her? good for you.

B: Yes, I cannot take it anymore hehe.

A: So wanna eat out somewhere?

B: Go, be right there.

We always eat out by then and we think we were falling for each other and have it cute back then but now our breakup is not because of money but because of each others circumstances. I was toxic too cause one time, during lockdown, I've got jealous on one of our colleague, I was Staying in at one of the places provided by the company and she's still at her home. And we broke up for a month.

I have my fault there and I really am not sure if my thoughts on this is right, thinking that we have already broken up, it is ok to kiss a guy from work (like he is staying to at the same floor). I stand up to her and said that we are not 'Us' that time so that is not cheating (please share your thoughts on this) .

We got transferred on another place, now all the employees are obliged to follow or no pay at all. There, I told her what happened and of course she's hurt. So hurt that every fight it is always brought up to the point now it's like one little spark and it'll be like a big fire. Small fights go big because of this and her trust was tested, so much tested.

On my part I also got judgmental, because of the different upbringing of family, mine's was chill and all, more on average family with an OFW parent , treats my parents like friends (my father not much, got some daddy issues here) and her is also chill but like there's more hierarchy like the typical Filipino family. Also with the utang na loob and all plus her giving back (I am so for that but, her sister got 5 children at home and the budget is just so kulang and the one who's earning more is her but the sister is also an OFW, if you know what I mean)

A: B alam mo? Mabigat. nabibigatan ako sa mga pamangkin mo. Okay lang kay mama mo e kaso feel ko ikaw na mag shoulder sa 4 mo pa na pamangkin (cause the eldest is working, yes helps out but still kulang cause she's like the mother paying for the BF's motor)

B: Alam ko, pero ung bunso sure ako dyan na di nya papabayaan si mama, saka wala na ko magagawa e, Ok na din ung bumalik ako sa bahay kase imbis na nag babayad sa rent natin atleast sa bahay ko nalang ibibigay.

At first she wanted out and nothing to do with her family cause she's stressed out. 2 years not going home. But I've helped her realise na umuwi na sya cause she IS needed. Pandemic period she go back home.

This is also one of the reasons why we broke up. cause she think na minamata ko family nya. 

A: B uwe na ko di ako sanay sa bahay nyo e! (me stuck at manila March 18-April  1st week)

B: Kala ko ba dito ka mag celebrate ng birthday? yan ang ayaw ko sayo e lagi ka nag dedecide ng mabilisan ng di mo manlang sinabi sakin. Last time I've decided din na mag uwian na bigla and maki tira muna sa tita ko sa Cavite and she really got mad then.

My wrongs here are:
1.Me wanting to do what I want specially pag naisipan ko kaagad,
2. Treating her like a friend to the point na nadala ko ung pag haharutan namin na mag kakapatid na may batukan (she doesn't want that also curses ayaw nya)

3. Tamad sa gawaing bahay my thoughts here is I'm done with all those chores kase bata palang ako na tagalinis and all sa bahay (she treated me like a princes)

4. Nag kakasumabatan na kami

This looks like a self reflect on my part and also pointing out or sorting out rather the faults she said and I'm not sure if it's just a big fault of mine but all I want is just to live my life the way I want. So I acted Selfishly. 

Now I am Starting a new, cause nag hahabol nanaman ako kagabi and she said this exact words. 

Nag unti unti ako. Nagpasensya ng mahaba kc sabi q nga mahal kita. Kaso habang tumatagal ayoko n kasi nappunta n tayo sa point na katulad sa parents mo. Yung ugali mo palala ng palala. Halos tumutulad sa papa mo. Kaya aq na ang lalayo talaga dahil sabi ko nga d aq tulad ng iba na hahayaan na hndi galangin ng tao. Bastusin ng ganun nlng. Sarili ko ngang magulang hindi ako sinasabihan ng ganyang bagay e ikaw pa na partner ko lang. Dq dn ramdam na partner ko e. Ilang beses ka ngdedesisyon ng bglaan noon ayoko pero nasanay nlng ako kc d aq kasama sa decision mong bglaan. Saka sabi mo dn nmn independent ka ako dn nmn pero d aq ngdedecide ng d ka ksma. Sobrang toxic n tayong dalawa kaya tama na sa 2 kalahating taon nating mgkasama prang ako nlng ung nakkrmdm saten. Hindi ako naalagaan mentally. Wala k dn nung mga laban ko dahil kung kailan kita kailangan doon ka nawawala. Sa katigasan ng ulo mo cno napapahamak db ikaw may mga tao tlgang ayoko at pinalayo kita pero hndi ka lumayo dahil alm q sa sarilo kong hndi cla mkakabuti sayo. Pero d ka nkknig dun nako ngstart mwalan n gana. Hanggang sa may nangyareng d mgnda.. aminin man natin o hndi dq p dn mkakalimutan LAHAT bsta bsta. Gusto ko gustung gusto ko peeo hndi lagi p dn tumatakbo sa utak q yan. What if nkinig ka what if d ka sumama sa mga taong yn sana till now masaya tayo panatag utak ko. Kahit paulit ulit mong sbhin n wala tayo nun hndi e kc ikaw ung umiiwas nun ikaw ung nagagalit saken kaya WALA TAYO. Hanggang sa nhdecide ako n mag pahinga. Papahinga lng ako kc dq kaya ung gngwa mo. Ikaw pwede mkpg kaibgan sa ayaw kong tao tpos aq d pwede? Naging faithful ako nung time n un kahit selos n selos ka. Kahit sabi mo hiwalay tayo. Pero dq maicp n ganun mangyayare na ung taong kinukutuban ko yun dn gagago sanio. Kaya please tama na MAHAL kita pero ayoko na. Sinabi q n dn nmn sayo dati n cge mgbbgay ako hanggat kaya ko kaso pigang piga nako dq na kaya ibgay.. pasensya kn sorry!

And this last message made me realize that it is really over. But there is a part of me na releived kase nga napaka outgoing ko na tao and made me realize na I'm still too young to brood over this matter. Yep I still love her but now I'm focusing on myself.  Do I really have to think na she is bad like this? A 29 year-old lady without savings, and plans after 5 years is really worth it?

I hate to think about it pero for now just let me hate her kase di lang naman ako ung may bad side. I'll not just make kwento her faults here but let me cleanse my heart lol.

For now I'll just go again with my parents decision na mangibang bansa, to be with them and go find work there. I am an Accounting Grad btw so they said na kaya ko to!