Aurora [18+]

This is where we are

I looked around, trying to understand what my life has turned into; pure loneliness. Today is not a good day, it's my grandpa's death anniversary. He died one minute before Christmas, a day I spent in the hospital, trying to get the paperwork done with the family lawyer over the phone since he was away with his family.

Today I'm wearing high-rise straight-leg jeans, black merino wool sweater and a black oversized cable-knit wool cardigan.

From my fridge, I pulled out what's necessary to make myself a hamburger. Everything is ready because I prepped this morning so it wouldn't take me long.

I turned on one back burner and one on the front. On the back one I placed a deep pan to make my French fries and on the front one a flat pan for the single patty. I've learned a lot of things these past two months and one of those is to cook properly; it takes my mind off of things and it's something that connects me to my grandmother.

Thirty minutes later, I was sitting at the round dining table with my dinner, facing the Christmas tree with a couple of presents I got for myself and ones I received from Esther, her family and Hasan. I do have people who love me but for some reason, a fucked up and ungrateful one, I feel alone if there isn't someone with me in a romantic relationship.

After removing the vases from the table, I brought my tall glass filled with Pepsi. I climbed onto the uncomfortable armchair I need to change, to move the projector and aim it to the study's doors. With my phone I turned off all the lights and pressed 'play' to what I was watching this morning: The Circle USA.