Reflection On My Mental Health | MattyHealy-Story

Chapter 1.

"Are you up sweetheart?" Mum calls from downstairs.

Is she kidding? Does she not know me at all? I've been up since 6.am.

I don't know if it's down to nerves or excitement. Possibly a bit of both. But I guess that's understandable with it being my first day at university.

"Melanie?" Mum yells again when she got no reply from me before.

I finish tying my hair up in a messy bun at the top of my head. And then try and rid some of the creases in my baby blue blouse. That i did actually iron last night but somehow it seems to have more creases in it now than before it got ironed. Typical.

"Yeah, mum. I'm up" I sigh at how snappy she always is on a morning when she's not had her morning coffee.

Oh well, only one last morning to put up with it. Then it's waking up every morning, parent free. I can't wait. The whole, being independent thing, seems to excite me more than scare me. But mum always claims I'm already way ahead of my years. I guess it's not really a compliment how she says it. But I'll sure take it as one. I don't mind acting older than my age. There's nothing wrong with being mature.

"Pancakes are on the table" she tells me before I hear her shoes clinking against the wooden floor, away from the stairs and back into the kitchen.

I groan, picking up my handbag. Knowing my suitcases are already packed and in the car ready to go. I take one last glance at my bedroom. A strange feeling hits me in the gut that soon enough this actually won't be my room at all. As soon as uni is over, I plan on getting my own place.

And with that thought, I give it two weeks of me being away before my mum turns this into an office for her to use. It'll be like I never existed in her life.

I walk into the kitchen, my mum holding the plate of pancakes up towards me with one hand as she scoffs her face with the other. I shake my head "Not hungry" I tell her, making my way for the coffee machine.

"Ooo" she puts the plate back down onto the table then makes her way over to me, her eyes never leaving me, "First day nerves, huh?" she asks with an amused expression.

I roll my eyes at her. Yeah, she'd love that. Seeing as she wanted me to just go straight off into a job when I left school and college. Not getting why I want to "waste time" getting an education when I could be out, earning money already... Like she does. "No. Mum. Not nervous!" I shoot back with a head shake "Just, apprehensive. That's all" I take a sip of the coffee. Wishing we'd not got onto this discussion now. This is all I'm going to hear all the way there.

The nerves are hitting me in full force now. Constantly checking the time, fearing I'm going to be late. I can't stomach the rest of the coffee in my cup, so i team it straight down the sink "I'm ready when you are, mum" I shout across to her as I make my way to have one last glance in the mirror before we leave.

"You're going like that?" she comes to stand behind me, staring at me through the mirror with a disapproving look.

My brows drop in confusion "What's wrong with this?" I ask. Not even sure what she means by "that". But this is my mum here. She probably means my whole appearance altogether. She's all for the full face of make up. Never leaves the house without jewelry on. I'm more into ripped jeans. T-shirts. Sometimes I'll push the boat out, with a blouse - Like today. Special occasions. Well, in an attempt to make a good first impression. It's no secret I didn't have many friends in school.

Even though that was kind of my own fault.

"Oh, come here" she grabs me by the shoulders, tugging me back gently as she begins to re-do my hair - Without my permission.

"I liked it like that" i complain sulkily. Scolding her in my head that I'm not nine anymore. I'm nineteen. It's about time she realised that.

God. Get me away already.

"Right. Can we go?" I stomp towards the door. Not waiting for her.

"Melanie" she calls back with slight surprise and excitement in her voice. She comes to the front door with my phone held up above her head "It was Lucas" she eagerly passes the phone to me with a grin followed with a nod. I ignore it. Pushing the phone into my jeans pocket at the back. She frowns across at me, clearly not happy that I'm choosing - again, to ignore my ex boyfriend. I watch her, knowing it's killing her not saying anything.

Honestly, you'd think she was the one who'd been going out with him. She's totally smitten. Ugh!

"Mel-"

Don't!" I cut her off as soon as she's got into the drivers seat. I knew exactly what was coming "Give him another chance" "People make mistakes darling"

No chance!

"Can we just go now, please." I stress.

It's already going to be a long drive as it is. I don't need pointless conversations about pointless people.