Arthdal Chronicles Oneshots

He never would have left her

AN/: A little oneshot for Saya and Tanya.

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"I know you never dreamed of me."

Saya's words held the power of a drop of water in a silent cave.

"What do you mean?" Tanya asked him.

Saya evened his breathing before he dared to look her in the eye.

"You told me you dreamed of me. That you saw everything I went through all these years... I know you lied."

"Thats..." Tanya swallowed. She never meant to keep this secret from Saya forever, but she ultimately decided against telling him because she feared he might intend to harm Eunseom for having the freedom he never had. Saya did have a nasty streak for vengeance.

"Don't even try to deny it. Even now, I still dream about his life, and he probably dreams about mine. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you'd... Nevermind." Tanya said. She shook her head. She thought Saya would feel betrayed. Vengeful. She didn't expect him to show her sadness and vulnerability.

"It doesn't change anything. I still don't know him. I don't love him and I don't hate him. It doesn't change anything about my feelings for you either. You still gave me hope when I had nothing. You made me feel loved when I had no one... It's not like I'm a complete stranger to you anyway, right? He told you about me? Also about Saenarae? Do you know why I loved her?" Saya asked her. Tanya couldn't stand anymore so she sat in the closest chair to her.

"Eunseom did tell me about his dreams. About your life. But he didn't tell me everything. He said the dreams became hazy when he woke up. He did tell me about Saenarae. Eunseom saw what happened when you were going to run away, but thats all he told me about it." Tanya admitted. "Saya, after we first met in your room and Tagon caught me... They were going to kill me! I knew it was a long shot but I had to say something to save myself so I told them that we are tied together in life and death. I proved my psychic ability to them by lying about dreaming about you. I told them what Eunseom told me about how Saenarae died...thankfully it was enough to convince Taeahla. I never meant for the lie to go so far-"

"I don't care about the lie anymore, and if knowing what you did helped save your life and bring us together, I don't mind either. I know know that it wasn't Saenarae who I was in love with anyway. It was always you."

Saya walked around the table and knelt at Tanya's feet. He picked up her hands and brought them to his mouth. He didn't kiss them, but her fingers brushed his lips as he spoke.

"It was only a few months before I met the real you that I met her. Saenarae. If I think back to those days, I feel like a fool for believing that she was ever you, but back then I did believe it." Saya said softly against Tanya's fingers. Her palms were beginning to become clamy. "I never asked if she was you and she never said that she knew anything about me, but she seemed familiar to me so I trusted her. Honestly, I don't know what she wanted from me or if she really was going to take me to Iark with her once we ran away, but I held onto her promises because I wanted to find the place where I always felt free. The place in my dreams. And I believed that if you were that girl, you would take me there. What happened...hurt me worse than you can ever imagine. My hope was crushed, my heart was shattered...I had no will to live anymore until I finally closed my eyes and dreamed of you again. You were still alive there. I wasn't sure if I was dead or alive, awake or still dreaming, but it was enough to keep me alive while I plotted my revenge for you...her... until Taeahla returned."

Tanya listened to Saya carefully. She didn't know what she was supposed to do. Should she comfort him? Could she comfort him?

"I only saw Taeahla again when you were brought to me to become my maid. I was in shock. My heart felt revived. For a moment I thought Saenarae had returned to me, but instead it was you. Something in me...awakened when you and I were brought together. From moment I saw you in the Arthdal marketplace I was in love with you. I realized who you were, and that I had mistaken Saenarae for you back then because of my hope for escape... But I needed to know you, to protect you, which is why I guided you up to my room. It is the only place anyone in Arthdal is forbidden from entering. I thought you would be safe."

Saya looked up at Tanya and continued holding her hands in his pleadingly.

"It was always real for me. My love for you. I understand... That when you look at me, all you see is him. But I'm not him. You deserve better than him and I'm willing to try my best to be the man you deserve." Saya said, and finally Tanya pulled her hands out of his and stood up. She stood behind the chair as she looked down at his still kneeling form.

"You don't know anything about Eunseom! How can you say that? Do you really think that because you love me no one else will be good enough for me? Your dreams are our memories! Mine and Eunseom's! How can you say that he doesn't deserve me? Do you even know how hard Eunseom is working to come back to me?" Tanya seethed at Saya. Saya's chin wobbled and small tears pricked at his eyes.

"He really was going to leave you, you know? To fulfill his promise to our mother. How can you think that he deserves you more than I do, when he was planning on leaving you?" Saya shouted at Tanya in hurt.

"You don't know that!"

"Oh yes I do! Your Great Mother made him swear to leave Iark after the ceremony! He was getting ready to ride that horse across the plain of tears the night the ceremony ended!" Saya almost growled at her.

"You're lying! You're just jealous of the relationship I have with Eunseom!"

"You're right! I am jealous! Because you give him all of your love when he won't do the same! I've seen him in my dreams! He is building an army with the Ago tribes! He is freeing slaves and helping them return to their families! A man like him will never be able to love a woman with all his heart because all his love is given to the people! You aren't the same girl you were back then and he is no longer the same boy who once hesitated to leave you. He is responsible for all those people now! He loves them! He cares about them! He isn't fighting for you! Or to get back to you. He is fighting for a cause!" Saya shouted at her savagely. Tanya refused to believe it. Sure Eunseom was creating an army to take down Arthdal... but Tanya wanted the same thing! That didn't mean that she didn't mean just as much to Eunseom now than she meant to him before Iark was attacked. Eunseom was still coming to rescue her.

"I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that either way he will still come to save you, isn't that right?" Saya asked her. He nodded his head as bitter tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'm not saying he is a bad man or that he doesn't deserve love. But a man who can't give you every inch of his heart will never deserve you Tanya. He will never be enough for you."

"And what makes you think you are?" Tanya asked him mockingly.

"I know I'm not. Not yet. But I'm willing to try until the day I die. One day I know that you'll accept me, even though you stubbornly reject me right now."

Tanya snorted and smiled bitterly, shaking her head at him.

"And what makes you think that?"

"If I were him, I never would have left you. Oneday when you feel like you're all alone, I promise you only need to look beside you. I'll always be right there waiting."