First Snow

Wrong Train, Right Direction

Seri looked at her feet, burried in the snow, and smiled. He would be so proud of her. Forget the designer boots, this time, she now had proper winter hiking boots. Warm, waterproof, and most of all, not slippery. She had had to find some pants and a coat that could match, and since she couldn't find ones that would satisfy her keen sense of fashion, Seri's Choice had launched a new sport collection, including hiking fashion, and she was quite satisfied with the result. She looked chic and ready for a trail at the same time, in her red fluffy coat, the words "Seri's choices" shining in her back.

She looked up and her eyes followed a pair of paraglidders gliding across the blue sky.
They were circling gracefully in the air, like large, colorful birds, and one even began to do a few acrobatic tricks, drawing an exclamation of admiration from Seri.

She almost envied them, the feeling of lightness and of freedom was probably mind-blowing up there. Her gaze followed them until they were too far away to be seen clearly.

She sighed.

"Maybe I should do that, Ri Jeong Hyeokssi. Paraglide and fly to you ..." she whispered.

As usual, his voice, soft, warm, deep, comforting, echoed in her head.

I'd rather you keep your two feet on the ground ...

She couldn't count how many conversations she had had with him, he was there, in every little moment of the day.
When she ate something delicious, or on the opposite something she didn't like, when her phone rang, Chopin's notes rising from her purse, or when the light caught on her wedding ring.

Because this ring had become an alliance in her eyes, a symbol of their mutual commitment. He had told her not to give up hope, and even though the abyss of despair threatened to engulf her more times than she could tell, she was hanging on.

She loved him. It was that easy. She loved him like she had never loved, and no one could ever take his place. So she would wait.

She gave an amused smile, the longing and grief becoming so familiar that she no longer broke down. Not as much as before at least. There were always days worse than others, when the longing turned into a violent pain that tore her apart from the inside. Those days she preferred not to think about too much.

She continued on her way, her gaze shifting to the station she saw below. In a week, that would be a year. A year since she had left in her designer boots for a sensible hike to offer her a getaway from the hell that had become of her life. A year since he had rocked her life in the best possible way, sweeping her out of her feet effortlessly as it was she who slipped and landed on him. A year he had carried her on his back, showing more kindness and care than anyone in her entire life. What should have been a sad observation was in fact the finest achievement.

To have met him, to have been loved by him, was the most beautiful blessing ... But she missed him.

Terribly, viscerally.

She would do anything to breathe in his scent once more, to feel the warm callused skin of his hand on her cheek, to hear his unique voice, which made her feel safe, at home.

"What are you doing now Ri Jeong Hyeokssi ... are you okay? Are you safe?"

Not knowing was the worst torture, so she clung to everything she could, gleaning information at every opportunity about what was happening across the border. She never got much, her heart pounding madly when defectors were caught, or when people being arrested were reported. She never could find more and it was killing her with worry. She had briefly wondered what would happen to her if she were to join him but the idea was brushed away, knowing how dangerous it would be for both of them.