no mader how strong the wind blows

chapter 4 Realization

S

ummary:

Eiji feels like he and Ash are slowly drifting apart ever since Trixie came into the scene. What does this mean?

Notes:

For everyone's guidance, Ash is 11 and Eiji is 13.
Anyways, enjoy the update!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Another year quickly passed by. Eiji is now in his 8th Grade, which meant that he would be graduating from Middle School and would be starting High School in the next academic year. Ash, on the other hand, is now in his 6th Grade, his first year in Middle School.
A lot has changed over the years, particularly in physical appearance. At the age of thirteen, Eiji started to show signs of puberty. He grew taller, his facial features started to mature a bit, and he's even started to develop muscles because of pole vaulting. Ash, on the other hand, despite being two years younger than his best friend, has grown so much that he now stands a few inches taller than Eiji. His facial features started to mature as well, making him look a bit more masculine than before.
But despite all these changes, there was one thing that remained between the two, and that is being best friends. In fact, they felt like they were back in Grade School again, because aside from going to the same Middle School, they also went back to their old routine of walking together to school, spending breaks together and walking back home at the end of the day.
"Ei-chan!" Ash called out the moment he saw Eiji in the cafeteria. It was lunchtime, and as always, the two decided to eat together, just like old times.
"What is it, Ashu? You seem so happy today," Eiji asked as his best friend took a seat beside him. Good thing the table he was sitting on was empty despite the cafeteria being filled with students.
"Oh, it's nothing," answered the eleven-year-old boy, setting down his food tray. "I just wanted to tell you about my day, that's all."
"Really? Go ahead then, fill me on the details," Eiji said, taking a bite of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"You know, I saw Trixie pass by our classroom awhile ago," Ash sighed dreamily. "Man, she's so pretty. She's seriously becoming prettier these days. Too bad we aren't classmates this year, I wish I could see her more."
And in that instant, Eiji felt like he lost his appetite.
Aside from being best friends, there was also one more thing that didn't change, and that was Ash's feelings for Trixie. Ever since he developed a crush on her back in 5th Grade, he's been talking non-stop of how pretty and great she is and how much he liked her.
And as luck would have it, Trixie apparently went to the same Middle School as them.
Eiji just sat there poker-faced as he mindlessly chewed on his food, resting against the table with his head on his hand while Ash rambled on. He didn't know why, but everytime Ash mentioned something about Trixie, he just felt annoyed and irritated. Of course he doesn't show it to Ash because he didn't want his best friend to worry about him, but deep inside he just wanted to go away every time Trixie's name is mentioned. Can't he talk about something else other than her?
"Yeah, yeah, I know she's pretty," was the only thing he answered, looking at the bite marks he made on his sandwich.
For some reason, it didn't look delicious anymore.
***
As the year progressed, Eiji became more and more engrossed in pole vaulting. Because of this, he earned himself a membership in the school's pole vaulting club, which also meant that there would be days in which they would have training after school, just like today.
"Ashu, I'm training today after school. Wanna come with me?" Eiji asked, grabbing his training bag from his locker. He was wearing his sportswear, all packed and ready to run and jump.
"I don't know Ei-chan, I'm pretty tired right now," Ash answered. "And I have a lot of homework to do."
"But you won't be doing anything, Ashu. You'll just sit down and watch, and you can even do your homework while you're at it," said Eiji, gently shaking his best friend's arm. "C'mon, Ashu, please? For me?" He pouted his lips, his dark brown eyes shining as he gave Ash puppy-dog eyes.
"C'mon now, Ei-chan, don't give me that face," Ash chuckled, playfully pinching Eiji's cheeks.
"Ow! That hurts, Ashu!" Eiji cried, rubbing his cheeks.
This time, Ash laughed at Eiji's reaction. "I couldn't help it, Ei-chan. You're so cute! Your cheeks are so squishy." Then he pinched his best friend's cheeks again.
Did he just call me cute? Eiji felt his cheeks redden, but it was definitely not because Ash pinched them twice.
"Since we're walking home together anyway, I don't mind staying out a bit more," Ash chuckled. "Where are you training?"
"Oh, just at the sports field."
"You're going to the sports field? That's where the cheering squad does its training, right? Which means," Ash's eyes widened, a smile slowly forming on his lips. "Trixie would be there, too!"
And with that, Eiji stopped in his tracks, taking a deep breath as he once again felt the familiar, annoying feeling at the mention of Trixie's name, AGAIN.
"On second thought," he said, trying his best not to sound irritated. "I heard from one of my teammates that training's not that serious today, so I think I'll pass."
"Huh? What are you talking about, Ei-chan? You should still go! I wanna watch you pole vault too, you know."
Eiji rolled his eyes. "Whatever. As far as I know, you just wanna go there because Trixie would be there," he said, whispering the last part so Ash wouldn't hear.
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last part. What did you say?"
Eiji shook his head. "Nothing, nothing."
Afraid that Ash would sense something else, Eiji quickly walked away, leaving the blonde-haired boy trailing a little bit behind him.
So much for calling him cute.
***
The next day, Ash and Eiji decided to stop by the park after school. Or more like, Ash decided to go to the park and asked Eiji to tag along with him.
Because they would usually head straight home after school, Eiji was hesitant at first, wondering why Ash suddenly wanted to hang out. But Ash just smiled at him and answered that he just wanted to spend quality time with his best friend.
Of course, Eiji couldn't say no to him. Come to think of it, Ash somehow did him a favor by staying with him during training yesterday (except for the part that Ash kept on staring at Trixie the whole time), and today it's time for him to return the favor.
And yes, he fully admitted, he'd be more than happy to spend more time with his crush. Alone, in private, and most of all, away from Trixie.
As the two boys sat on the edge of the fountain, they have been talking and laughing about random stuff for the past hour. Eiji was in the middle of telling a story and was about to get to the good part when he realized that Ash wasn't paying attention to him. He was looking into the distance, as if he was staring at something.
"Hey Ashu, are you listening to me?" Eiji asked, but the blonde-haired boy didn't answer.
"Hello, Earth to Ash Callenreese." He gently nudged Ash's shoulders, but there was still no response.
Eiji let out a defeated sigh. Looks like there was only one thing left to do.
"Hey, Aslan Jade Callenreese!"
And with that, Ash immediately blinked, snapping out of his trance-like state before looking back at Eiji.
"Huh? Hey, I told you not to---" He was about to reprimand his best friend again for calling him by his real name but he saw that he was glaring at him. "Oh, sorry, Ei-chan. What was that again?"
"Really now, Ashu?" Eiji folded his arms, frowning at him. "Do I really need to mention your full name before you answer?"
"Look, I said I'm sorry, okay?" Ash answered, looking at him apologetically. "Go ahead, continue your story."
"You seemed a bit off back there. What happened?"
Ash shook his head, looking back into the distance. "Nothing, nothing. I was just looking at something."
Curious of what the blonde-haired boy was looking at, Eiji looked at the same direction Ash was staring at.
Apparently, he wasn't staring at something, but someone.
It was no other than Trixie.
She was seated next to another girl on one of the park's nearby benches as they chatted and laughed, obviously enjoying having a great time. He watched as Ash's expression changed into a soft, fond look, his lips unconsciously formed into a small smile.
Realizing this, Eiji's two hands clenched into fists as he felt his chest tighten. Why did Trixie have to be here? All this time, he thought he was gonna have Ash all to himself, that this time things would be all about him and Ash, but no, Trixie had to enter the scene again to steal Ash's attention and ruin things. In fact, it was a bit surprising that Ash didn't stand up and go to Trixie, probably because he didn't want to be rejected again like what she did during 5th Grade.
Realizing that Ash might catch him staring at him, Eiji bit his lower lip and looked away, tears slowly forming in his eyes. He has never felt so pathetic in his life. Here he was, looking at the person he liked, but the person he liked happened to be also looking at the person he likes. Ash was physically right beside him, but his mind was drifting off to someone else.
"Man, I'll never get tired of looking at Trixie," He heard Ash sigh. "She's really pretty."
Fighting back the tears, he closed his eyes. Just for once, he wanted Ash for himself. He wanted Ash's attention to be only on him. He wanted Ash's gaze to be on him. Him, and not Trixie.
When will you look at me like that, Ashu? Please look this way, please look at me.
So much for spending quality time with him.
***
"Ei-chan, what's wrong? You seem a little down today," Shunichi said as Eiji entered their apartment unit.
Eiji didn't answer, he just lazily tossed his school bag on the floor before he sat down on the couch next to Shunichi, burying his face in his hands as the tears he's been holding in for so long finally came out.
He just didn't know what to feel anymore. All throughout the year, Ash has been saying nothing but Trixie, Trixie, Trixie. In fact, he has lost count on the number of times Ash mentioned Trixie's name in a single day. The other day, Ash just stared at Trixie the whole time during their training when he told him that he would be watching him do pole-vaulting. And today, Ash's attention was on Trixie when he said that he wanted to spend quality time with him.
Honestly, Eiji's already getting tired of it. He's tired of being ignored by his best friend whenever Trixie showed up.
The more he thought about it, the more irritated and annoyed he got. What's so special about that Trixie girl that made his best friend like her so much? He and Ash had their own little world before, but now that Trixie came into the scene, it felt like they're slowly drifting apart from each other.
And Eiji couldn't bear it. He couldn't afford to lose his best friend all because some girl came along.
"What's wrong, Eiji? Why are you crying?" Eika asked. She was on the table doing her homework when she heard Eiji crying, so she quickly bounded over to where her brother was seated, leaving her books and papers behind.
Shunichi scooted closer to the thirteen-year-old, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong, Ei-chan? Did something happen at school?"
Eiji sighed deeply, unable to look at Shunichi. "It's about Ashu..."
"Did Ash make you cry, Eiji?" Eika asked, her forehead crumpling. "What did he do to you? Tell me so I could beat him up."
"Eika-chan, stay out of this," Shunichi gently reprimanded the nine-year-old 4th grader. "Go and finish your homework."
"Awww, alright." Eika pouted her lips in disappointment before she headed back to the table.
"Now Ei-chan, what's wrong? Did you two get into a fight or something?" Shunichi asked, turning his attention back to Eiji.
Eiji shook his head, wiping his tears away. "No, we didn't fight. I just...I just don't know what to feel about him anymore."
"Huh? Why? What makes you say that? Aren't you two best friends?"
"It's not that, Ibe-san. It's because..." Eiji ran a hand through his hair in frustration, letting out another deep sigh. "It's because things aren't the same anymore ever since that Trixie came into the picture."
"And who's Trixie?"
"Ashu's crush," Eiji answered, wincing once those two words left his lips. Just the mere thought of it somehow felt like poison to him.
He was expecting Shunichi to give him advice, but all he got was a fond smile instead.
"My little Ei-chan, growing up so fast," he said, gently patting the raven-haired boy's head.
Eiji frowned in response. "What do you mean, Ibe-san?"
"Tell me Ei-chan, what do you feel whenever Ash talks about this Trixie girl?"
Eiji sighed. "I don't know, it feels a bit annoying. Like, can't he talk about something else? All he says is Trixie, Trixie, Trixie. And I'm sick and tired of hearing about a hundred Trixies every single day."
Shunichi nodded, the fond smile on his lips slowly widening. Oh, he definitely has an idea now of what Eiji's feeling. In fact, the tone of his voice already gave it away.
"I miss the old times, Ibe-san," Eiji added, his voice slightly wavering as he felt tears threatening to come out again. "I miss those times when Ashu and I had our own little world. Now it feels like we're slowly drifting apart just because of that Trixie girl."
"Puppy love."
And with that said, Eiji finally looked up at Shunichi, his eyes widening.
"P-Puppy love?"
Shunichi nodded his head. "In other words, you're in love with Ash. Tell me the truth, you don't merely see him as your best friend, right?"
Unable to say anything else, Eiji looked away, his face slowly turning red. Why does it feel like Shunichi took the words right out of his mouth? Is he really in love with Ash?
No, I'm not in love, Eiji thought to himself. I just hate it when Ashu ignores me whenever Trixie's around, that's all.
Shunichi chuckled. "I knew this would eventually happen, Ei-chan. I noticed that ever since you were younger. The way your eyes sparkled whenever you're with Ash is already proof enough that you see him more than just your best friend."
"I...I honestly don't know," Eiji responded.
"Ei-chan, if you really see Ash as just your friend, then why is your face red?" Shunichi asked, a teasing smirk forming on his lips.
"Alright, alright, you got me," Eiji finally admitted, raising his two hands in defeat. "I DO have a crush on Ashu. Please don't tell him Ibe-san, I don't want him to know about it."
"Ah, young love." Shunichi smiled, placing a hand on Eiji's shoulder. "Don't worry Ei-chan, your secret is safe with me. But who knows, maybe he likes you too."
Eiji smiled bitterly. "Hah, yeah right. How can he like me when it's obvious that he likes Trixie?" He sighed. "I really don't know, Ibe-san." He stood up. "I'm tired. If you need me, I'll be in my room."
Without waiting for Shunichi's answer, the raven-haired boy headed straight to his room, his vision starting to blur because of the tears that formed in his eyes. He felt his chest becoming heavier by the second, and he was afraid that something might happen to him if he didn't let it out.
Once he was alone in his room, he sat down on the floor, leaning his back against the door, and cried. At that moment, he felt like all the pain, the frustrations, the emotions he kept in for so long suddenly burst out.
Puppy love. Is this love? Am I really in love? Eiji asked himself over and over again as more tears began to fall. No, I'm not! I just hate it whenever Ashu ignores me because of Trixie, that's all! No more, no less.
You ARE in love him, Eiji, another part of him said. You're in love with Ashu. Don't deny it.
No, I'm not!
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not!
Yes, you are.
No, I'm---
He stopped crying as a sudden realization came into mind, prompting his eyes to widen.
Oh no.
At that moment, he felt his heart beginning to race.
What if I AM in love? 
He placed a hand over his chest, his lower lip beginning to tremble.
Oh no, maybe I really AM in love with him.
With a gasp, he placed his two hands over his mouth, his heart pounding faster as his feelings slowly become clear to him.
At the age of thirteen, Eiji Okumura has fallen in love with his best friend.