Longing Lights

Victoria

"We think Dean and you will look good together." My grandmother is watching me from the corner of her eyes.

I'm 100%  sure something is cooking in her head. Is trying to set me up again? I'll not be surprised if she tried to do that again. 

The last time she sent me on a blind date saying I needed to pick up some donuts from her favorite cafe, that she ordered a week ago. Seriously who ordered donuts a week ago, I should have known that better. Whatever I went to that cafe and met a man who is an inch taller than, a poet.

"Victoria." As soon as I entered the cafe a man shouted. It was as embarrassing as hell. I wanted to run away from that place but since I'm a polite person, I sat with that creature for half an hour.

It was enough for him to drove me crazy, to the point where I started to rip his hair in my illusion, still, that didn't please me.

I excused to go to the bathroom and successfully run away from that poet hell. I'll never forget that torture that went through my soul that day.

"Okay. Sorry to say but who is this bloody Dean?" I finally lose my shit after listening to this damn name for a week straight."Victoria Corner mind your language." She is concentrating on her book now.

She is the queen who knows how to play with my psyche, she is doing it more than often now since I'm being a little skeptical about the marriage thing.

"No grams. I'm hearing this name for a week now. I'm officially tired and annoyed by this damn name now." I cross my arms over my chest as I stand in front of her in our lavish living room.

My grandparent's house can be compared to any royal mansions, it's massive starts with this extravagant living room. This room is divided into two-part, one where we are sitting with a couch, armchairs, 100'' tv on the wall, a fireplace while the second section has an open swimming area which is divided only with a glass door.

This house is my grandparent's pride.

"Dean Louis Frederick is your dad's friend's son." She breaks the news with a big smile."So why I have to hear about my dad's friend's son all week?" I know she is hiding something, her smile is the prove."No, it's nothing darling. Suddenly, he came into my mind so that's why I talked about him." She says in her clam lovely voice.But I know that's not the case, she is up to something and I can tell that now I can feel that from her smile, her enthusiasm about this particular Adam person. My grams Rachel Corner is a very clever woman, she is someone who can become your best friend at the same time stole something from and you don't even realize until someone ask you or inform you. My gram is half Korean and half Spanish. Her father a Spain-based business went to Korea for a business deal but when he came back home he was not alone. He bought a Korean woman with whom he fell in love during his "business deal". They met at a cafe where this beautiful mid-20s woman named Yoona help him with his language barrier and guess what they became friends and then within a month husband and wife.Those two beautiful people bought my grams in this world who married my grandfather a retired Air Force. These two are my world and every reason I'm here standing, laughing, and having this life also." No grams just tell me what's going on in your mind," I ask her. Even though I know she will never reveal a word to me."Did you pack your bag?" How swiftly she change the subject, it sometimes blows me."No. I still need to finish my packing. I need to go shopping also." I lay on the couch while my legs hanging."I'll advise you to finish your job first we are leaving Wednesday. You don't have much time." She collects her books and takes off her glasses as she leaves the room."Yeah. I will." I tell her.This trip is just ridiculous no matter how I see this. First, this is not a planned trip at all knowing my grandfather planned every one of his activities not only his meetings but his everyday work too very carefully, but it's also odd on his part to plan a holiday vacation in a short time. They told me a week before this trip. Now I think about this Grams also started talking about Adam at the same time.In a moment grandpa told me about the trip next moment grams was talking about Adam. I have no idea what's going on in their mind but I'm happy to escape from this. I mean not San Francisco. I love this place so much but everything else. Recently, I'm thinking about the past a lot, I don't want to but this nightmare just doesn't go. They are with me like they are me, I'm them. But I know I'm not. I can do better than this in every possible way and I will. I shake my head and message Daisy my BFF.Victoria: Are u free for shopping??Daisy reply to my message within a second, as expected from my soulmate. I think in my old age I'll be single with thousands of cats by my side and my BFF Daisy with me in our house. Life will so much fun then.Daisy: Give me 30 min.After exactly 30 min I'm sitting in my car outside Daisy's house.Victoria: I'm here. Come fast.Daisy: Almost there.Daisy opens her house door carefully without making any noise and tiptoes to the car. Okay, according to her walk it proves that she didn't get permission from her mom so now we are kind of fleeing."Fast fast. Drive the car." Daisy shouts at me as she sits in the passenger seat."Chill girl. I'm driving." I fly the car like a manic in her words.Shopping with Daisy is always fun, to be honest, she is the one who keeps me in check. I can't spend much when Daisy is with me. Daisy has great convincing power, she can convince me to murder someone very easily and I believe I'll do that without a word. Yeah yeah, she holds great power in my life but I'm happy at least she has the sense of right and wrong. After my grandparents, if I trust someone that is Daisy. I know she will never betray me. Never Ever."We are leaving Wednesday. I have no idea why grandpa plans this vacation for such a short time. It's so not him." I like this red summer dress, I think it goes very well with Hawaii."Maybe he needs some break. That's why." Daisy shows me a white crop top that has a spaghetti strap also denim shorts. Perfect."And this Dean. Who is he? Why do I need to hear about this dude?" My voice is annoyed which describes my current mood perfectly."Oh come on Victoria you can't be so skeptical about everything. He is a family friend that's why maybe. Or something else." Daisy is the most optimistic person I know, I have no idea how and why."Yeah right. I still think something is not right at all." I match shoes with my clothes."Can't you just enjoy Hawaii and not think about all this stuff. I will advise you to do that. That's more fun than this overthinking."We pay our bills and went to our favorite restaurant for food which is most needed for me. My stomach starts making noises if I don't eat anything right now I'm telling you I'm dying because of hunger."Did you pack your bags?" yes, my BFF is coming with me."Yeah. I'm done. Erick doesn't want me to go with you." Daisy's longtime boyfriend/fiance. My relation with this jerk is bad no worse. I can't stand that bastard even for a second. He is a cop a corrupt cop who kisses other girls in front of Daisy but thinks that is okay. I don't know why she is still with that guy and now they will be married in four months."Forget that bastard. Who the hell he is?" I tell her."Victoria show some respect. You are talking about my future husband." She tells me calmly but her expression is hard."Why are you even with that man? Leave him. There is plenty of hot guys who are loyal and caring which I think you deserve." "I can't leave him," Daisy says. She looks uncomfortable for some reason, I also think this related to that jackass. I don't know what he told her that she is now can't leave that man, it's not like they love each other like crazy or passionate lovemaking is happening between them. "Why?" I demand an answer right now I'm tired of her helplessness and the power that Erik holds in her."let's talk about something else. How long we gonna stay in Hawaii?" She changes the topic every time like this."Two weeks I believe. We gonna have so much fun my darling. And one more stick rule for you " NO ERIK". Absolutely, no Erik." I sip my juice as I tell her this rule. I want her to enjoy this trip without any trouble."Ok. I agree." Daisy says happily.This proves I'm right about her so-called relationship but don't worry darling I'll rescue you from that asshole cop.We part away after our lunch date, I come home and start packing at night. I finished around 1 in the night. Come on, it's hard when you need to pack for two weeks, there are so many options when it comes to clothes, shoes, bags. I know I don't want to go on this trip but I'm going and I want to look exotic on this vacation. Whatever happens during this we will deal with that later.

I lay in my bed but sleep doesn't come at all like always, this insomnia thing will be my death one day mark my word. So I do what I always do at this time. I cry and cry then sob. At first, quietly than loudly. Ultimately sleep comes when it's dawn like always.

I'm afraid I need to live this way for the rest of my life. I don't think I want to live this pathetically anymore. I want freedom please give me some God help me.