Continuation of If/Then

Part 13

"I don't know. I was really drunk."

Derek continued to sit in silence.

"I don't even remember it happening."

Derek started to speak. "I came home to feed and let out our dog and I come in to see-"

"I know Derek."

They sat in silence for several minutes until Meredith said, "do you- do you want me to move out?"

At this, Derek stood up. His face changed from sadness to anger. He glared at her for a few seconds then stomped down stairs.

Meredith followed him after a minute.

"You- you ruined everything!" Derek yelled.

"I know" Meredith said while sobbing.

"I- I love you. How- how could you do this to me?"

"I don't know."

"I don't know what is going to happen, Mer."

"What do you want to happen?" Meredith asked timidly.

"I want you to have not fucked that guy."

"Derek."

He looked at her and shook his head.

"I don't know what I want."

"Do you want to leave me?"

"I CAN'T" he roared.

"Can't what?"

"I CAN'T LEAVE YOU MEREDITH!"

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND CAN'T FUCKING BE APART FROM YOU! I WISH I COULD LEAVE YOU!"

Georgie became concerned by all the yelling. Meredith was sitting on the couch while Derek was standing and yelling. Georgie climbed up onto the couch and snuggled onto Meredith's lap to protect her from Derek's shouting.

"also I promised that I would never leave you." Derek added calmly.

"So if you don't want to leave me. Or you do but you can't. Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know"

"Do you want to shave my head?"

"No." He sat down next to her and started to pet Georgie. "I like your hair. It would be hurting me more than you."

"Thank you." She responded quietly. "Are we going to get through this?"

"I need us to get through this."

"But you didn't need to get through it with Addison?" She asked nervously. Depending on how he answered this question, she would know if they were going to last or not.

"No. I wanted to leave Addison before hand. I never loved her like I love you." Derek responded while looking at the ground in front of him.

Meredith smiled and tried to grab his hand. At first Derek pulled away, then he grabbed her hand. 

"We are going to be okay." Meredith said quietly.

"Yea. You really can't remember anything from last night?"

"No. I uhh remember being angry and drinking a lot of tequila. Then everything goes blank. Until waking up to you yelling."

Derek sighed. "I guess I can't actually blame you for something you can't even remember."

Meredith looked at him surprised. "Derek- I- you don't have to do that."

Derek looked at her confused.

"I mean if you got really drunk and slept with some girl, I would- I would still be angry with you. You'd probably be bald by now."

Derek laughed lightly.

"I mean, when that girl kissed you I was so angry. And you didn't even do anything wrong."

They both were silent for a few minutes.

"Meredith, this was bad. It was really bad. I just want to forget it ever happened. But obviously we can't do that permanently but can we do that for today?"

"Sure. Whatever you want Derek."

"Ok. I will make us breakfast and you-" he gulped a little, "clean up our room. Change our sheets. Just make sure there are no reminders of what happened in there. Or-" he gulped again, "anywhere else in the house. Also you should shower... you smell like."

"Like I got drunk and slept with someone."

"Yea."

"Ok. I am going to go clean." She looked at him with sad eyes then got up and started to walk up the stairs.

"And Meredith"

She stopped and slowly turned around to face him.

"We are going to be okay." He said while giving her a weak smile.

(hehehehehehehehehehe. I hope I made your day a little worse.)