Yours, Eternally

New Year, New Life

"I have all the details." Zoha said. We had formed a plan as a back up, and I had given her all the details of both my gynaecologist and midwife, in case Zain was at work or something when the baby decided to make an appearance. 

"Good, let's go." The nurse began to wheel me away.

"Talha, I'll let you know where we are." Zoha called out to her husband, before we headed inside.

"Mothers are legit heroes." I muttered, stifling another cry of pain. "Where's Zain?" I called out over my shoulder at Zoha, who was walking slowly. 

"He's on his way, don't worry." She reassured me, putting a hand on her back.

"He better come soon!" I was starting to get irritated.

I was feeling as terrified as if I was going to war. Ya Allah, help me.

****

I was in labour, but it wasn't time for the delivery yet. I was waiting in bed in the delivery room, taking shallow breaths to calm myself down. Although the room looked like a normal inpatient room, this was where I was going to give birth to my baby. By the wall opposite my bed was a crib, where the baby would be kept after birth. It all felt too unreal. Within hours, my baby would be in that crib, In Sha Allah.

Zain was pacing the room, looking as nervous as I felt. 

"Zain, sit down! You're driving me crazy!" I snapped at him.

"Sorry." He muttered, sitting down on a chair and burying his head in his hands.

I immediately felt guilty. "Sorry. I'm just terrified. I hope that this baby comes into this world safely, and is healthy." 

"I get it, it's fine." He turned his head and glanced at the rocking chair placed by the window. "Imagine sitting on this and rocking our baby, In Sha Allah." 

Mama arrived then, and Zain left the room to give us some privacy.

For the next few minutes, Mama just recited duas over me, and in the meantime, Zoha and Misha also entered the room. 

Misha automatically made her way to the crib at the side of the room. "Ooh, Zoha, check this house! There's a tiny hat in there, for the baby to wear when it comes, In Sha Allah." 

"Mama." I grabbed my mother's hand, staring up at her without another word. 

She noticed the fear in my eyes and she leaned down to kiss my forehead. "I know, meri jaan, but it will be worth it in the end, In Sha Allah. Aise hi nahin Khuda na maa ka rutba itna uncha rakha hua hai, Tara."

*"There's a reason why God has given such a high status to a mother."

"Misha, let's wait outside." Zoha must have realised that I just needed to talk to Mama right now, so she and Misha left.

"What if I die, Mama? Childbirth is dangerous, isn't it? It risks a mother's life. What if I never see my baby?" I was a mess now.

"May Allah bless you with a long and healthy life. Ameen." She whispered. "Yes, it's a hard task, but countless women go through it every day. You'll be fine, In Sha Allah, and you'll see the beautiful baby of yours, and you and Zain will raise it together." 

"In Sha Allah." 

"Keep reciting whatever duas you can think of, okay?" She said. 

There was a light knock on the door, and Mum entered. "Oh, my dear." She looked excited, but was trying to remain composed. Like Mama, she started reciting duas over me as well. I felt blessed to have to motherly figures by my side.