Eraserhead and Scribe V

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Aizawa could barely get her to speak for the rest of the train ride home. She shook her head, a look of pain in her eyes that he couldn't get past. Her mind was closed off to him more completely than it had been since the day she came back to UA. When they got back to the school, she squeezed his hand and retreated into their apartment, walking directly through the common room full of students.

He let her have some time alone, staying in the common area to watch Eri play a game with Jiro and Ochaco. What else could he do? All he'd felt from her after she told him she'd remembered her lost day was confusion and self-loathing. What could have happened to her during that time to fill her with those emotions?

Or worse...what could she have done?

Aizawa pushed the doubts away. As much as he wanted to believe Scribe would not betray him, he knew during that one day, she hadn't been herself. During that day, she wasn't the hero Scribe or his wife. She was a woman in love with Tomura Shigaraki. The only reassurance he had that nothing had happened on that day, really, was Shigaraki's.

"Aizawa, could I have a word?"

Aizawa looked up in surprise to find All Might standing next to him. He nodded, standing. The two men walked into the hall. All Might looked troubled. "How did it go today?"

"The operation went fine." Aizawa glanced toward the kids and decided there was enough noise in the common room so they could talk without being overheard. "Scribe made contact with Spinner. She didn't get much out of him, but what she did get may prove useful."

"Did it jog her memory?" All Might looked concerned.

Aizawa started. "How did you know that?"

"It's the closest she's come, physically, to Shigaraki since the day she was with him." All Might glanced toward their closed apartment door. "Is she all right?"

"Not...not really." Aizawa shook his head, folding his arms over his chest. "She won't talk to me. Hasn't since she remembered." He thought of the feelings of self-loathing emanating from her. Scribe needed someone to reassure her that anything she did during that time wasn't something to blame herself for. "Would you talk to her?"

All Might looked at their apartment door. Then he nodded. "If you think it will help."

"I don't know what will help. I don't think I can, though. She's always been conflicted about her feelings for Shigaraki. What the doctor did to her, trying to brainwash her into loving him, nearly destroyed her. If she remembered loving him, even for a day, I don't know what will happen to her."

All Might nodded, gripped Aizawa's shoulder briefly, then turned toward their apartment. Aizawa opened the door and let him in, saw Scribe sitting on the sofa, her head bowed, face hidden behind her hair. She raised her head wearily. Their eyes met and then he stepped back outside and All Might went in.

Aizawa closed the door and leaned on it for a second. He wished Shigaraki had never become a part of her life. If he could go back in time and stop that moment in the forest, he'd do it. He wished he'd had Eri rewind Shigaraki, too. Maybe then the connection really would be gone.

But mostly he wished he could take that haunted look from her eyes.

***

Scribe watched the door close behind her husband, then turned to All Might. "Hi."

"Hi." He sat in the chair across from her. "Aizawa's pretty worried about you."

"Isn't he always?" She shrugged. "You never should have brought me to Japan, Toshinori." She stood and went to the kitchen. "I think we all know that now."

"You would prefer if I'd left you alone to a lonely life?" All Might sounded surprised.

Scribe yanked two teacups from the cupboard and slammed them on the counter, knowing her anger wasn't directed at him but at herself. "To this? To being in love with two diametrically opposed men? One a hero, the other a...a maniac...a psychopath...a villain? Hell yes, I would. I'd choose a lonely, loveless life over this mess any day of the week!"

All Might folded his arms and looked at her, his brow furrowed. "Then it's true? You think you're in love with Shigaraki?"

She opened her mouth and then closed it again. She turned and filled the teakettle and put it on the stove, standing with her back to him. If there was one question in the world that she wanted to answer less than that one, she couldn't for the life of her figure out what it was.

"Scribe?" He prompted her gently.

Scribe felt her shoulders slump. "I don't just think it, Toshinori. I love him. I don't even know how it's possible, but I do. I love him and I love Shota and I love you and UA and Eri and the kids and I don't know what to do with it all." She turned. "There's only one person in this entire school that I don't love. And that's me."

"You didn't do this, Scribe. Aizawa doesn't blame you. Neither do I." All Might's voice trailed off. Scribe thought maybe he'd given up. But then he spoke again. "If anything, you've given me hope."

She frowned. "Hope?"

"That my old master's grandson isn't beyond reach." He looked uncomfortable. "You know his story?"

"Yes. Most of it. His father was cruel, opposed to heroes. He tried to squelch Tomura's dream of being a hero. Because he remembered his mother's abandonment." She saw him wince a little and put her hand on his. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

"She let him go because she feared what All for One would do if he knew about her son. And possibly because she knew her own life might not last much longer. If she'd done it when the boy was younger, maybe he would have recovered. But he never understood how she could leave him." All Might shook his head sadly. "He never knew how difficult that decision was for her." He was silent for a few seconds, then said, "And the rest of it?"

Scribe paused. She didn't like thinking about the rest of it. She knew it, but it was impossible for her to think of it in terms of the Tomura she knew. But it had happened, and it was important that she remember that. So she dutifully recited it as if she were a student learning a difficult lesson. "When his quirk manifested, Tomura couldn't control it. He killed his family. His entire family. Even his mother and sister who he loved. His grandparents. And...his father. I think his father was last. And I think it was on purpose."

"His name was Tenko Shimura then." All Might nodded. "He waited, hoping for a hero to come save him. He was alone and broken, probably insane and shell-shocked from what he'd done. No heroes came. No police. The world turned its back on him and left him there to die. And that's when All for One came for him."

Scribe looked at him sharply. "You say 'came for him'. You think he'd been watching T...Tenko, then? Waiting for the opportunity?"

"Yes."

Scribe wrapped her arms around herself. Thinking about Tomura as little Tenko lost and alone on the street having slaughtered his own family and finding no one willing to help him hurt her heart. And then the only one who showed him kindness was All for One.

"Scribe." All Might's voice made her turn to him. He took her hand. "Shigaraki's path was laid out for him by All for One. He never deviated from it, never showed any desire to live a life other than the one his master directed. Until he met you."

Scribe nodded, but All Might's words meant very little to her. She couldn't be the reason Tomura Shigaraki left his life of crime or even stalled in his quest to end heroes. Because even though she loved him, her heart wasn't hers to give him.

It was Shota Aizawa's.