welcome home, yoonbum [k.s. au]

chapter six

Returning home with more clothes than Bum could ever imagine, the day out was finally over. Bum was so excited to try on his new clothes, he rushed straight to the bathroom and began to strip. Again his scars stared back at him from the mirror in front of him. He stopped for a second, his thoughts filling with Sangwoo's words before, "They're beautiful." Bum smiled at himself and traced the scars just as Sangwoo did.

"They're beautiful." Bum said to himself. For once in Bum's life he felt at peace with his appearance. His scars were no longer something he needed to hide, but he was eager to try on his new shirts. He threw on a moss green polo with long sleeves and a pocket over his right chest. He admired it in the mirror. He didn't like bright colors, the shirts he picked out were all dull, but none were black or white. He wanted color, but not too much that it blinded others and made him noticeable.

As he went through shirt after shirt, Sangwoo knocked on the door.

"Come in." Bum said as he finished putting his hand through the sleeve hole. Sangwoo peeked in.

"Trying them on already?" Sangwoo asked as he looked at Bum through the mirror. Bum smiled and nodded with contentment. His father grinned back and opened the door all the way. Bum faced him and held out his hands slightly away from his body.

"How does it look?" He asked, he so badly wanted more compliments from his father. Sangwoo rubbed his chin, pretending to think over what he was going to say next.

"It looks baggy on you." He went over to Bum and pinched the fabric so that it hovered over Bum's skin. Bum's smile faded, it is? Sangwoo continued to pick at his new shirt. He then wrapped his hand around Bum's arm and his facial expression changed.

"You're so skinny, Bum." The words didn't shock Bum, he knew he was only skin and bones, but the way Sangwoo said it made his stomach stir. The pity leaked from his lips and spat at Bum. He felt his brows move towards each other. Sangwoo broke out of his gaze and smiled his sweet smile. The smile that made all worries go away.

"Oh, but that's alright. I just need to fatten you up some!" He patted Bum's back and a chuckle followed. Bum attempted to smile, but felt as though his skinniness was worse than he thought. Should he be eating more? Should his clothes fit tight and snug? Sangwoo left the bathroom before he could ask these questions. He left him there, pondering over his appearance. Back to square one, again. His body was not beautiful, but at least his scars were.

**********

         Dinner time came around and Sangwoo set the table with some steak and vegetables. Once they all sat down, Sangwoo smiled and stared at the children. Jieun and Bum immediately started filling their plates. Their greedy eyes bothered Sangwoo.

"Aren't you two forgetting something?" He scuffed as he tilted his head in their direction. Jieun's eyes slowly turned to Bum's and was left in a daze. Bum shrugged sadly. He had no idea what Sangwoo was hinting at. When he met his father's eyes, he felt his heart jump in his chest. Sangwoo's face twisted with annoyance. How could they possibly forget? He banged his fists onto the table.

"I saved you ungrateful children just to be disrespected in my own house? Did you two learn any manners in that dump?" Bum's lips tightened. The atmosphere had changed from a cozy family dinner to a punishment rather quickly.

"T-t-thank you for the meal!" He stuttered as fast as he could. Jieun was quiet. Bum glanced at her and could see the tears forming in her eyes. Sangwoo's outburst must have scared her. She started to rub her eyes as her lip began to quiver. Sangwoo's fist unfastened.

"I... What're you crying for? I just asked a question..." His confused gaze became sad as he realized what he had done. He got up from his seat and knelt next to Jieun's spot. He patted her knee and tried to move her hands away from her moist eyes.

"Hey, now, cut it out. I didn't mean to make you cry. Look at daddy, please?" His words were soft and kind, but his movements appeared jaded. His fingers shook as they tried to reveal her face from her hands. Bum swallowed nervously, put your hands down, he thought as he could feel tensions rising. Put them down before you make him madder. Sangwoo's hand fumbled with Jieun's.  When she finally gave in, Bum felt she didn't do it on her own free will. This was when Bum noticed how strong Sangwoo was. His shoulders were broad and wavy from his muscles, his shirt tight around his chest. Bum shivered from the thought of his father ever becoming physical with them. Could he...? Would he...?

"That's it. Now I can see how pretty my daughter is. She's so cute. Stop crying now, please? For daddy?" Jieun nodded but nothing escaped her lips. Sangwoo went back to his chair and let out a long sigh before piling his plate. He peeked at Bum's and chuckled slightly. He took half of a steak and put it on Bum's plate promptly.

"Oh, I don't want anymore–"
"You need more to get big and strong like me!"
"I don't think I can–"
"Enough now, Bum. Eat your steak."

To avoid any further incidents, Bum closed his mouth. He stared at the two steaks in front of him. There was no way he could possibly finish both of them along with the vegetables. Unfortunately for Bum, he knew what could happen if he didn't at least try and he started to stuff his face. I have to keep Sangwoo calm, he thought with his chest pounding loudly. He looked over at Jieun who was slowly consuming some potatoes. I have to keep him calm for Jieun's sake.