For FridayGirl80
Bradley's unwavering confidence proved to be just what she needed. That was not to say that she didn't have moments of uncertainty, of second guessing herself, especially when they first began filming, but because of his support, she was able to give herself completely over to the entire process.
Italy was picturesque; the locations they had picked made the entire production come alive and she felt herself at ease, getting into character, and fully supported by Ridley and the rest of the cast. Adam had slowly warmed up, the more she got to know him and while they probably wouldn't ever be close friends, they developed a mutual respect and he'd proved a very supportive teammate.
The biggest thing she took away from the entire experience was her promise to Bradley to enjoy herself while she was there. She made good on it; eating delicious, freshly made food every night, often paired with a healthy glass of red, she slept in whenever she didn't have an early call time and above all, she focused on shooting and shooting alone. Everything else, she delegated to other people, as not to overextend herself. It had been years since she concentrated on one thing at a time and it was strangely exhilarating to give her attention to a sole entity.
"How does it feel to not have a million things going through your head?" Bradley asked when she called one evening.
"Mmm, absolutely fucking glorious."
"It's what you deserve. You sound happy."
His observation made her smile. "I am. Really and truly. And I don't think I ever would have gotten there if it weren't for you."
Quietly, he answered, after a beat. "Oh, I think you would've found your way, Stefani. You always do."
Throughout her life, she had been fortunate enough to continually have support from family, from friends, and this support extended to every endeavor she chose to take on. It was something she never took for granted. But she still found herself seeking approval, just the same...a kind of strange juxtaposition of not giving a fuck what anyone else thought and wanting desperately to be liked.
When she'd begun working with him, she sought out his approval, from the very first read-through, realized just how much he'd fought to have her in the film, how he'd gone to bat for her with the studio. There was the split second feeling of terror she would somehow let him down, followed immediately with the steel determination not to. She knew, undoubtedly, she'd work harder than she had in her entire life to pull this off, the main reason that she couldn't bear to disappoint the man who took such a huge chance.
It didn't take long to realize that there was no need to fret that she would disappoint him, somehow. He made it clear, from that very first day, that as long as she gave herself, he would be right there and they could be afraid, together. It was his willingness to give everything, too, that set them up for success. They were both way too invested for the film to fail.
"You were a huge help, B. I'm not going to let you downplay it."
Though she couldn't see him, she imagined that he was smiling shyly in that self-deprecating way he had about him, maybe tilting his head.
"I miss you."
His admission was simple, but it was anything but casual and the words melted her, made her breath hitch a little.
They had spent every single evening, since she'd arrived, talking. She was cognizant of the six hour time difference, knowing he'd be eating dinner or spending time with Lea and Gloria, so sometimes, it was just a quick checking in, a need simply to hear his voice. Other nights, she was so exhausted from the day, she would ask him to just talk to her about anything and he would indulge her, rambling on about anything from a Times article he'd read or what Lea was learning in school. She would thank him, apologize for being too tired to say much and he'd always tell her to never mind that...he was a big mouth anyway and it gave him an excuse not to shut up. And there were evenings that they would spend two hours on the phone, just laughing until it ached, spouting out whatever random bullshit that happened to pop into their heads.
