And If You Wrong Us

Part 5: Secrets

"Mr. Raven! What brings you out here?"

With a sudden surge of annoyance, Mr. Raven reached out and grabbed her wrist, dragging her towards him. "Are you daft, girl?" he shouted. "You're going to come down with pneumonia if you keep walking through these kinds of storms!"

Sarah nearly lost her footing from his harsh tug and fell against him. She gripped his arms to steady herself. "I needed the fresh air!" she shouted back.

"Fresh air my foot!" Mr. Raven grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look up at him. "What are you playing at, girl? Do you want to catch pneumonia and die? Is that it?"

"And what if it is?" she bit back, staring up into his cold, blue eyes. "What do you care?"

"How dare you assume to know my feelings!"

"How dare you assume to know mine!" Sarah pulled away from him with all her strength, dragging Mr. Raven forward, but he held on tightly. "Let go of me!"

"Not until you come inside!"

"I will not be treated like a common orphan! I am the mayor's daughter! I deserve respect!"

"And respect you have been given! We have accommodated your every request since you came to us, allowing you to go out to town even though it is against the rules of the orphanage, letting you out onto the grounds as often as you please, playing the piano at all hours of the night and morn! What more do you want!"

"You!" Sarah whirled on him, forcing him back several steps. "I just want you."

Mr. Raven stared back at her, mouth agape, body frozen. A sudden calm swept over the courtyard, flakes falling gently and wind dying down to a whisper. An eternity seemed to pass in silence.

"You can't mean that," he finally managed to say. "You don't know what you want. You're too young."

"Being young doesn't mean being inexperienced," she retorted.

"You have gone through a terrible loss and it caused you great grief. You are misunderstanding your feelings, projecting sorrow into love. This is no more than infatuation."

"You mock me!" she cried angrily.

"I do not mock, Miss Pemberly, I merely mean to correct. Do not be fooled by such turbulent emotions!"

"I know you feel it too." She boldly took a step forward. "I've seen the way you look at me. You want me too." Her brows narrowed. "I can feel it."

Mr. Raven shook his head violently. "You are mistaken. I love my wife."

"I never said you didn't. But it is possible to love more than one."

"It's very presumptuous of you to assume my feelings for you expand as great as love."

"Am I incorrect?" Sarah folded her arms.

"There is no other conclusion to be made. You cannot be correct about such a wild assumption."

"Why?" she challenged him. "Why can't I be right? Why can't you feel that way about me? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing!" he yelled. "There is nothing wrong with you. But it would be wrong for me to love you, Sarah, when I have a wife and children, waiting for me at home. I cannot give you what you want." He bowed his head.

"I don't believe you."

Before he had time to react, she was upon him. Her delicate yet strong hands clung to either side of his face and pulled him down into a deep, demanding kiss. He stood there, arms at his sides, face enveloped by hers, breathing in her fresh, peppermint scent and feeling drunk from it. He made a weak effort to pull away, but her hands held on tight.

He was intoxicated. He was high on her smell and taste and touch. His hands moved from their limp positions to grasp her back. His face was frozen but his body was close to igniting.

"Mr. Raven! Miss Pemberly!"

The maid's shout of surprise and dismay caused them to fall apart from each other, faces flushed.

Mr. Raven looked quickly from the maid to Sarah then back again. "Millie! There's been a misunderstanding."

She folded her arms, looking quite cross. "Are you saying that my eyes have misunderstood what they have seen, Mr. Raven?"

"It's my fault, Millie," Sarah replied before Mr. Raven opened his mouth. "I caught him by surprise, he didn't know what to do. I was so overcome with emotions; I threw myself at him. I'm sorry, Mr. Raven." She turned to him, eyes communicating what she could not say aloud.

"It's alright, Miss Pemberly. You were distraught and I... I should have taken control of the situation." He hoped she would recognize the apology hidden within the words.

"Come, Miss Pemberly. You will have to be reported to Mr. Roberts."

"No need, Millie," Mr. Raven said quickly. "I will report the incident to him myself. Miss Pemberly should be brought to her room, where she can think on her actions." He stared hard at Sarah, trying to convey his message.

I won't report it. He will never find out.

The day passed without any further words about it. As did the next. And the day after. And as time passed, distancing Mr. Raven from that dream-like moment, it began to seem as though things would simply die between them, shriveled up from neglect.