Meant to be

Chapter 19: So near yet so far

Shehnaaz was puzzled and irritated, he was always like this never made it easy for her! She again soothed his arm and said "kya patha tere dimaag mein kya kya chal tha hai Sidharth tu over thinker aur mein under thinker, pata nahi kya honay wala hai aagey." She closed her eyes and subconsciously kissed him on his Lips and whispered "goodnight my gandha bacha, Shukar hai ke mere paas hai tu. February ke baadh to apnay raastay to chaley jaana hee hai till then meko th chahiye aisay mere paas" she had tears in her eyes s she said it and was shocked to see Sidharth's eyes bearing into hers but a strange expression of peace and serenity washed over his face. She smiled at hin and he looked at her with all his loved ruffled her hai and drew her against his chest and said "Shehnaaz come here baby! Now who is overthinking huh? Sojaa kal task toh definitely hog kya pata kya hoga"

Sidharth immediately fell asleep and Shehnaaz soon followed before deciding that she will make sure that Paras remains in her good books maybe that is what Sidharth was hinting at perhaps that to keep Paras closer and use him to further her game?

The next day beckoned with the usual song and by then the set up for the next task was already done by the makers. Sidharth the entire day kept hovering around Shehnaaz and pumping her up and the whole day she kept checking to make sure he had his
Medicines on time and and his hand wrapped up to avoid swelling. As soon as the housemates realised that it would be a captaincy task huddles were formed and that is when Shehnaaz started started kicking things off and hankering after Paras to give his support to make her the captain.

As with all things Shehnaaz she was loud and crazy and absolutely unfiltered, as with all things Sidharth when it came to all things Shehnaaz he was completely taken in! Enamoured and indulgent. But what began as something fun and jovial turned toxic. Both at times forgot the complexity of the circumstances they were in. What they felt for and towards each other was entirely rugged and real, but the foundations on which their relationship was taking off from was the most removed from reality and everything here was heightened and condensed and loud and enforced. Even time tested relationships would have crumbled and their was only now gathering around its embers. As long as they were in this house, in this house where literally nothing was under their control, they would continue to be stretched and pushed and pulled and such eventualities would always out their nascent relationship on the brink of rupture.

When it came to the doing things Shehnaaz was far too unfiltered and Sidharth was far too guarded and especially when it came to the elevated status of Shehnaaz in his life, there was only so much of her going on about Paras that he could take. At one point when all his instincts was to ignore her and he moved away physically from her when she came forward to hug, Sidharth had to defeat his hurt and embrace her because pushing her away was not an option anymore. As she embraced him, he hardened his heart and unknowingly his face too and he went over to Paras and asked him to buck up and ensure that Shehnaaz too would get a fair chance.

That night he had to fight hard to convince himself that Shehnaaz was in game mode and it was good for her and to ignore whatever happened during the task. He was so conflicted with how she was so easily accessible to everyone in the house. That was her nature, he did not want to ever change that but he also found it difficult to watch like a bystander when sometimes she over shot and became over familiar or over lenient towards people who had nothing but jealousy towards her. All of these thoughts were running helter skelter through his mind and her lying behind him coaxing him to speak with her was not making things easy for him. He wanted to hold her perhaps more
Badly than she wanted it. Right now, come night, all he wanted to do was cuddle into her and draw his energy from who she was and how she loved on him. Through out the day, through her paras drama or even if it was her trying to make things ok between them she had not dropped the ball on her care of him. He knew that came only from a place of genuine concern and need for his well being! He finally gave into her poking and prodding and turned his body and allowed her to hold
Onto him. He smiled internally at how she was without any ego or arrogance.