Never Having Air

This is my 1st writing i hope you guys like it. I am open to suggestions , try to comment . Thanks :) 

I have some foreign words in hear and if you would like to know the meaning please ask . 

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Tap Tap Tap

My green pen tapped on the edge of my notebook. I flipped my notebook over till it was on the page I had starred on. This of course was blank.

Tap Tap Tap

I just couldn’t do anything anymore then move my pen, all day. Finishing up my homework would be easy if I could concentrate, but that didn’t happen anymore. . My mind just splits. Not just now, but lately all time.

I sigh blowing away the thread near my eye. My hijab always had those lose strings from me always pulling on into hid my eyebrows. I stood picking up my bag and phone. It was not a state of the art phone but I took it with my everywhere considering that it took around millions of years for my father to buy it. I smiled at my accomplishment. I scanned the park. Most everybody in the town was sleeping safely at their homes, and I was starting to get cold. With the sound of my boot hitting the cement sidewalk I walked to my car door.  With my keys still jingling in my hand I slid into the car. I dropped my bag on the passenger seat. I was so tired . Why did I even come this early? I start to put on my seat belt rings. I stop and look at my screen, it was my dad. This will be fun, I thought

“Hey” I tried sounding enthusiastic but failed.

“Where are you? When I called Samia to check in on you she said you were gone before she came i!” His voice was now full pledged anger.

Samia was our “housekeeper”. I know the real reason my dad hired her. To keep tabs on me, basically being baby sat at 17. My dad’s what you would define as “over protective”.

“I just needed some air, I’ll-“He stopped me

“Home now.”

“Dad I’m sorry, I should have told you I was going” I try to fix my “mistake”

“Honestly Riia I think you trying to give me heart attacks on purpose” He said

I sigh “I’ll be home in five” he doesn’t respond, after a minuet of silence he finally says something

“I’ll see you toning inshallah“

And with that he hangs up . I drop my phone in my jackets pocket. I turn my head frowned and rest my hands on the steeling wheel. There was a car ahead. I look back at the park nobodies there. When did it get here I thought. 

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I could hear Samira’s shoes clicking towards my room. I was seriously starting to hate being babysat. I pull my blanket tighter and focused back on what was outside. I rubbed the sleeves of my sweater, it was now around sunset and it was starting to get cold. There was a thin layer of frost n the grass all over my yard. My eyes wondered to the familiar birch trees, now bear and naked from the winter.  They looked so pale and lonely.

“You’re going to get a cold you stay there any longer”

 I tried to see the voice hat had just interrupted my thought. Samia was glaring back at me from where I was sitting on my windowsill. Samira was a tall bright brown eyed woman who could easily be mistaken as mean. Today she had her heavy fur like head scarf on. She was not a friend of the cold at all. I gave her a weak smile and replied as a joke.

“Oh is that so? Where did you learn that from? “

“Don’t you back talk to me “she snapped, “Where were you today?”

“At the park, is that crime?” I fired back

“Sometimes I feel sorry for your father “She said sighing while turning her back to me to walk back to the door.  Before she left I quickly replied

“Love you too” She turned back with a smirk on her,” diner’s ready” then closed the door.

After I had eaten my dinner I went to my room to grab my jacket. I wanted to go out for a walk before my father came home. If he caught me it would not be pretty. As I walked by the kitchen I could hear Samia washing the dishes. I peeked back at her , she was facing the other way.  I smiled at what I was doing,  sometimes my house feels  more like a prison then a house.

The twinges, branches and frosted grass crunched under my boots as I walked on the trail. I remember walking on this trail so much with mom. Mom I though. I stopped and noticed I was now at the clearing. I had gone too far. I turned back to see if I could still see the house lights, but I could only make out the dark trees ahead. I looked up trying to find the moon but found no luck. I should have known better, it was winter in Minnesota.

 I started to jog back through the trees for a shortcut. I was more worried about getting there before my dad then going the right way. As I started to see the house lights I saw something flicker in the corner of my eye. I jogging faster to the point I was sprinting. When I had gotten to the back door and turned around nothing was there. The trees were leafless and hid nothing, and there was nothing. I turned the knob and stepped inside. I was getting paranoid, just like my father.

 

I followed the humming sound to the kitchen where Samia was cleaning up.  The kitchen was vast and I was hoping Samia would not see me. So I headed straight for the fridge and goy out a water bottle. When I had closed the door .Samia was looking at me.

“Why do you have a jacket on?” she asked

I jumped “I--I was thinking of going for a wal- “I stated but she stopped me

“Absolutely not” With that’s he turned around and left the room. I spent the rest of the evening in my room finishing up my homework and mentally slapping myself for lying.