Becoming Me

The Nightmare Begins

I remember the day my period started, I was at my church sister's house for spelling bee practice. I was about 10 years old at the time. I remember I was watching t.v when I felt weird so I went to the bathroom and that when I started freaking out. I broke down and started to cry because this shouldn't be happening I am a boy right?. Well, my body wasn't on the same page as my brain and that was very painful. To everyone, I pretended to be happy that my period started but inside I was dying, I was hurting, I was mad. I was angry at God and I hated myself.

My depression got worst and my mom saw it but I couldn't be honest with her so I lied. I lied to everyone. I started to keep to myself. I was already growing breast and I hated my body and now this??? I started to think about ways to kill myself.

To the outside world, I might seem like a happy child but when I am by myself (which is a lot) all I did was cry, I just wanted the pain to end.