Maybe I hate you Maybe I don't

Chapter 12

"My son was a wonderful man, he was the boy who made me a proud mother. All those years I've spent loving and caring for him have been thrown away. Of course he was a wonderful man but now that he's gone I don't know what to do. Of course I could shut down and throw my life away, but I won't because I still have my wonderful blessed other son that I will still take care of and love. I'm sorry if these words weren't what you expecting but I feel that I should show the situation that I'm in as a mother." She stepped off the stage with everyone pretty shocked she's never really had a fiery, angry side.

My dad doesn't look shocked but disappointed, I'm pretty sure this was what he didn't want my mom to do. I walked up ready to speak about my brother, I didn't prepare anything because I cried every time I tried to. So as I looked at the crowd of black people who it was just a blur so as I spoke into the mike I just started with an ummm.

I spotted Mo and looked straight at her who gave me a reassuring thumbs up, "Hey everyone, I know that my brother leaving is sort of a shock but today I wanted to tell you about the fact that he wasn't just a brother but many other things. For me he was a pain in a butt, to my parents a perfect child with perfect marks and was great in sports."

I looked straight at Victoria and continued, " I used to hate him growing up, being compared to him was always self degrading, he always did everything better than me, sports, marks, teachers always recognizing him as the best and me as "Tommy's brother."

I rolled my eyes, "Being part of Lemonade Mouth had made me be better in music but my parents never cared about it as much. This last year we finally got along, the one time I thought I was totally screwed, he came to the rescue. He told me if I wanted to go to Juliard or a music school I'd have to tell mom and dad. We did together and that is one of my greatest memories of him, not the best soccer player or the best at school but someone who loved and cared for me. I'll absolutely miss him his cocky and funny attitude and I'll never forget how many things we were supposed to do together. Thank you everyone for listening, I hope you remember my brother and how wonderful he is."

I bowed walked off the stage and sat down beside Mo, she gave me a bouquet while she was blowing her nose. Lastly my brother's best friend Andrew walked up to the stage and started his speech.

He tapped the mike testing it making a loud noise, "Hey guys, I never thought my best friend that I've known since secondary school would be gone so quick. I mean there are so many things we were going to do together. Especially since he's my roommate in university and yes I'm talking about the parties and our adventures."

"I didn't think it would end this way, I mean I was supposed to be his best man on his big day and yes I called that position Charlie." We all chuckled as the tears were threatening to spill out of his eyes, "I'm not going to bore you and say all of the great memories I had with Tommy but I will say that I was fortunate to have one of the most memorable best friends I have ever had and I will never ever forget him. Thank you everyone."

He made a teary eyed smile at the end and sat down behind me. I gave him a pat on the back and told him he was wonderful. It was short and straight to the point, I'm feeling very fortunate for my wonderful friends who support dad got up and told everyone to stand around the casket but in an orderly fashion. Everyone was quiet as we gathered around the casket.

As my father, me and Andrew lowered the casket my mother covered her eyes and started to cry. Everyone lined up to say there last few words and put flowers on his casket. My mother went first, and wasn't able to look so she just put her flowers on the casket and walked away. I said, "I'll miss you Tommy" in a hushed tone. Mo put her arm around me and we walked away together.

I didn't catch what the others said but I didn't really care. The flowers piled up and the dirt too, I didn't feel anything except for Mo's comforting arm around me keeping me warm. The wind gushed by everyone but I could feel Mo shivering so I took my jacket and put it around her.