Truly Blind | p. parker

xx • past ghosts

But, after ten more minutes of staring blankly at your notes, you decided that any more attempt at work tonight was going to be pointless. You were too nervous and confused to focus. And you were nursing a throbbing headache, not to mention an emotional wound from when Peter said he wasn't happy.

You closed your books and went to get a drink from the kitchen.

You were surprised to see May there, at the table. She was shaking, her arms holding her head. You could tell she was crying, and you figured that both she and Peter had probably forgotten you were there.

As quietly as you could, you eased a glass from the cupboard and decided to just get water from the bathroom sink. As you were leaving, you heard May sob: "Oh, Ben, if only he knew how amazing he is...."

You slunk to the bathroom and got yourself a drink.

When you pressed your ear to Peter's bedroom door, you heard nothing. You knocked. "Peter?" You said tentatively.

You received no response. You turned the doorknob and eased the door open. "Hey, are you—"

But you stopped. Because the room was empty.

But-- You turned around to look back into the living room. Had he gone back while you had been in the kitchen? No, he wasn't there.

You flipped back to his room and then noticed something odd. It was freezing in here. Was the heater broken? Unless....

You crept further into the room and then looked past his bunk bed. There, to the right, the window was open. The curtains on the side blowing inward, like ghosts, ruffled from the cold spring breeze.

You found him on the roof. You'd gone through the window onto the fire escape and hadn't seen him until you'd looked up. His legs hanging off the edge were just visible in the dark.

Holding onto the railings, you scaled the rungs of the fire escape ladder and reached the roof where he sat.

He didn't acknowledge your presence.

You quietly sat down next to him and stared out over the city. The snow had finally melted, so all of the lights were finally visible and the absence of clouds in the sky brilliantly contrasted the dark night with the blinding city.

You just sat there, with him.

It took a few minutes, but when you began to notice your fingers were getting cold, Peter spoke.

"I'm sorry." He said.

You waited, not really knowing what to say.

He twisted his hands in his lap but then stopped, sighing. "You probably heard a lot of that back inside." He said. "But I didn't— I didn't mean that I wasn't happy... with you...."

You reached over and gently took his hand. He accepted.

"Thanks."

Peter stayed quiet again and you studied your interlocked fingers.

"It's just... that last time that I felt like this, felt hope and excitement... I could see. I was whole, I was normal and free. I... I had this job—"

"The one on the private jet." You said.

"Well, it was more than just on a jet." You felt his hand clench up and you knew his whole body was tense.

You let go of his hand and moved close to put your arm around his waist.

He let out a shaky breath and leaned into you, laying his own arm around your shoulders. "I haven't really told you about who I used to be. About what I used to do."

You considered this. "I'm assuming it has something to do with Tony Stark." You ventured. You knew he'd had an internship with him, but the way May had talked about "Tony" down in the kitchen you'd figured he'd been more than just a boss to Peter.

Peter let out a soft and timid laugh. "Yeah, yeah, it's got— uh, something to do with him."

You could tell this was difficult for him to talk about. And for some reason you also knew that if he kept talking that he was going to start crying. And that wasn't really on your bucket list for tonight.

"Hey," You said, turning your head towards him and putting your free hand up to his cheek. "You don't have to tell me anything, alright? I trust you, and you matter to me. But if it's too personal, that's okay."

Peter opened his mouth to respond but he was too taken aback to anwer. Finally, he croaked out: "Thank you."

You nodded and then moved in to softly kiss his jaw.

Peter leaned into the contact and your hand moved to the nape of his neck as you kissed him again.

He turned his head and met your lips with his. It was gentle. He moved his arm from around your shoulders and hooked it around your waist instead, his other hand brushing your hair from your face.

You moved your hand to the soft hair on the back of his head and rested your other hand on his chest. He pulled you closer and kissed you again.

By now you and Peter had gotten plenty of time to practice being intimate with each other, but never had you been kissed so lovingly, not to mention while your feet hung precariously over the side of an eight story building.

But you trusted Peter and he was strong and big enough to keep you in his arms and far away from danger.

His kisses moved from your mouth to your cheek, down towards your jawline, and then further still towards your neck.

You closed your eyes and felt him there as he kissed you and held you close to him.

You tenderly traced his jaw with your finger and moved his lips back up to yours.

It went on and on, blissful and tender, until after a particularly long exchange, you rested your foreheads together and breathed heavily.

"You know, you take my breath away sometimes." Peter whispered.

You smiled, nearly laughing while Peter pulled away.

You were sitting in between his legs, your own legs off to the side, resting on the edge of the roof, while his dangled off the ledge. His arms were wrapped around you securely, and you leaned your head into his neck.

You would have been content to just sit there for another while but after a few minutes of peace, Peter seemed to resolve something within himself.

He moved his body so that he could hold you and still point his face out towards the night sky, where the cool air fanned over your bodies, causing your breath to come away in misty clouds.

"___?" He whispered.

"Mhm?" You answered.

"I... I need to tell you about something." He said. "I need to tell you who I really am...."

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