Hiraeth (Bakugo Katsuki x Oc) [COMPLETED]

Ch.9 - Consternation

Senshi opened the eyes which wasn't being held shut, and mumbled.

"Really?"

Tsuki just let out a small meow, devil cat. Senshi still had a throbbing headache, and would most likely not do much today, yet the temptation of being able to skate on an empty rink since it was a week day was there.

Senshi patted down her bed to find her phone, I mean, she was awake now so what else was she supposed to do. And then she saw her notifications.

10+ calls from Bakugo Katsuki - 1:30am

Yes Senshi did add everyone from the school group chat, and she couldn't help but be confused. And then last night's events came back from her memories. The panic, the inability to breath, her heart beating out of her chest.

The pain.

Her calm mood dampened slightly, yet another poke from her cat was enough to make Senshi giggle. Senshi sat up on her bed, her vision dancing for a split second, and Tsuki comfortably sat on Senshi's lap.

Should she call him? It was 8:30am, and Senshi didn't know what time Bakugo generally woke up. But know she understood, Bakugo felt everything she did. A wave of guilt fell over Senshi, it hurt to much, she didn't want Bakugo to feel what she felt.

Though, before she could fully make a decision, her phone began ring, well more like vibrate seeing as it was on silent. Looking at the caller ID, she knew she might have some explaining to do.

Incoming call : Bakugo Katsuki

Her finger hovered the 'accept' button, yet, her hands were slightly shaking; her mind and body yet to recover.

"Finally! I've been trying to fucking call you all night!" Bakugo exclaimed, Senshi pulling the phone away from her ear at his extreme volume.

"R-right, sorry about that." Senshi apologised, Tsuki meowing at the loudness.

"Tch anyways, what the fuck happened to you last night?" Bakugo demanded, truth was, Senshi didn't know. And that didn't help with the fact that she had no clue on what to say

"W-well, you see, the thing about that is........." Senshi was trying to come up with an excuse, though there was really nothing she could say. Oh yeah I randomly just feel like my lungs have stopped working and that my heart and beating so hard that I feel like I'm dying, is not that answer Senshi would give.

"So you don't know? Well I can fucking tell you now, no one has that shitty of a panic attack for no reason at one in the fucking morning." Bakugo replied.

Panic attack? That wasn't a panic attack, Senshi never had panic attacks, and she didn't know what one consisted of.

"Panic attack?" Senshi inquired in a questioning tone.

"Yes, a panic attack shields. Now what I wanna know is what the fuck happened?" Bakugo continued. Hold up, give the girl a moment to take in the fact that she had a panic attack. When Senshi, didn't reply, Bakugo pushed on. "Was is about the USJ?" 

"N-no! Not that." Senshi accidentally raised her voice. Bakugo wanted to know what happened, mostly out of curiosity, yet there was a part of him that wanted to rid her of the thing that caused her that pain,

"Then what?" Bakugo grumbled.

"It w-was-" Senshi was about to say something, whether it be a lie or the truth, but then someone was knocking on her door. And as the door began to open, Senshi accidentally clicked the 'Hang up' button; internally fretting.

"Morning Sen, sorry about last night, if you heard it..." Her mother began.

"Oh no, it's fine. I wasn't awake." Lies, lies and more lies. Because to be honest, Senshi would hate to make her mother or father guilty.

Even if that would be incredibly satisfying.

"Good, I just wanted to say that you don't have school today, I don't know if you knew that."

"Yeah, the teachers sent out an email to us."

"Good." And with that, her mother left. And now Senshi was panicking because she accidentally hung up. I mean, at least it was quickly resolved with a few messages. Yet 'a few messages' turned into a full blown conversation, which turned into both teenagers missing their breakfast.

********

Senshi, after her late breakfast, went to the ice rink. She wasn't necessarily there to learn something new, but to try and improve what she already knew. Though that wasn't the only reason, the need to clear her mind was also there. 

True to Senshi's wishes, the ice rink was empty, meaning she could to whatever she pleased; for the most part. Skating around and doing jumps, loops, spins or just simply skating was something she'd never get tired of.  The ice was smooth, no skate marks or chips, perfect. It was always satisfying to her, for the ice to be perfect that is.

Her outfit was simple, black sports leggings, and a shirt. Nothing extravagant was needed, just her and her mind. People usually associate ice with being cold, I mean yes it is cold, but if you're skating and working up a sweat, a person can actually get rather hot.

Senshi's day might not have been the most productive, but hey! The effort was there, not everyone would go out and do something, she can credit herself for that. Senshi also wasn't skating to music, why? Well, for one she didn't need any, two, she didn't know how to work the speakers.

But that's not her problem.

Senshi would admit, the shower she had when she arrived back home was heaven. It relaxed all her muscles, and washed away most of her bad feelings from the night prior. Showers are her new medicine. Yet what Bakugo had said earlier was still the forefront of her mind.

A panic attack? Was that what that was? It was unlike anything she'd experienced before, and thinking of a trigger was something she could narrow down to two things. One, the USJ, two, her parents. It was mainly the latter.

Yet, thinking of it now, and having searched the most reliable source for answers (Google), Bakugo was correct. Everything she experience lines up to the side effects of a panic attack. But Senshi didn't want that, Senshi hated the experience, so, why her?

That would be a question she would ask herself a lot in the future.