to us ; the end of it all

hatred - tw sh part 1

i hate you,
i hate you so much
you're killing me
my hatred for you
rose.

the sadness sunk
the sadness turned into
numbness
numbness turned into pain
pain which was inflected by your words
projecting the hatred
onto
my skin
onto
the last people who loved me
onto
the innocent
onto everyone
except you.

except you deserve the hate.
but you
you're the loved
and me?
the hated
burning on the inside
ash by ash
i burn
crumbling
the pain which i felt on the inside
became unbearable.

seeing you.
happy.

makes my heart race
please.
don't blame me for the
dagger
which you so deserved
you needed to feel the pain.
i've been feeling ever since.
ever since,
you betrayed me

so slowly
you intended to kill me.
So don't blame me for
your death
i loved.
you.

you intended to kill me.
you slowly set me on fire
insecurity by insecurity
killing me
leaving me to ashes
and
expecting me to rise
from the ashes
as if it
was nothing
as if
what you did
was nothing
as if
you didn't exposed me
exposed my vulnerability

left me alone in the shadows to fend for myself
and so i did.
and they blame me
for how i came out
so fucked.
how entirely screwed.

i fended for myself!
when
no one did, i was
alone
cold.
and everyone
showed me the cold shoulder
no one.
no one loved me anymore.

forgotten.
left in the shadows alone
for so long

i cried to myself
time after time.
hiding the pain and the scars.

the shadows filled me up with darknesses
the darkness, is what made me
slowly form into you ...

I break at the thought of you
i break at the thought of me, being like you.
now the thought of you
makes me want your blood on my fingers as i end you.

the abuse which you dragged
me through.
made me insane slowly.
but even slower i became the abuser.

now me,
the hated.
society's villain
yes.
i am the villain.
unleashed.
unpredictable.
i'm not sorry
for the damage i may cause.