The Truths Behind the Life of Maeve Sun Lively

77

"It's all in those stupid recordings! Did it sound better off to you? Was it a happily ever after? No, Carlise, it was obviously not. And the way she left things like this to me, to you, to everyone left, did you think that was okay? That that was 'better off now'?" Rosalie looked like she was shaking. Her shoulders are quivering up and down, and when she speaks again, her voice completely breaks. It barely sounds like her anymore. What is happening? "Did she not realize that not everyone was gone? That there were still people left who cared?"

I looked at Carlise, and her face was clearly holding something back.

"Rosalie, of course she knew you care. But let's not do this——"

"Of course it's better for you."

Carlise is taken back by this, and there is a grimace in her expression. Hurt. Could you feel hurt for someone else that's not yourself? I feel it right now.

"You're not hurting as much because you're not the one she..." I hear Rosalie take a large inhale. "They were all just...selfish." She turns back around, and the moment my eyes match her face, she looks at me too. Rosalie is...crying. Crying, not in acting, but real. In the movies I've seen her in, it's completely different. Her face stays unmoving when she cries in films. But now, her lips are drawn downward and apart, her eyes slightly squinted. It's a face that makes you throb, and you want to do something. It made her suddenly look younger. "You, Izzy, you'll know this feeling soon. You'll have it. And it will be so much worse than mine."

I just stare at her. I don't...I don't know what to say.

I realize I am trembling.

__________

Carlise is taking me out on a walk around the neighborhood. I think we all just maybe needed a breath after what happened back in the kitchen.

"Is Rosalie alright?" I dare to ask, now that the person herself wasn't here. She said she needed to stay in her room for a bit before we started the recordings. But now, I can already see her, without even being there, her scrambling for her alcohol cabinet. The one she so clearly hides away from Carlise.

Carlise looks on ahead, and then she tilts her face at me, a smile placed on like everything was joyful. I don't know how she does that. People who are able to do that, sometimes they don't seem human. I wish I could do it, because then if I looked enough of it, then maybe I'll actually be it. I know that logic doesn't work, but still.

"Of course. Lee Lee...she just gets a bit emotional when it comes to Maeve."

She moves her eyes away from me and toward the path ahead of us. We're walking in a compound, buildings after another, but also some trees are planted around. It feels peaceful. I imagine once, a while ago, Maeve and her family must've walked on the same grounds as I am right now.

"Maeve was always very nice to me. But it's the kind of nice to like...strangers, you know? When I was a kid, I used to always ask my dad why Maeve looked so sad all the time when she's not on camera and with us. I used to think that maybe it was because family made her sad, and being out on the camera was what made her the happiest."

I look at Carlise. Mom always said I had a bad habit of staring at people when you're supposed to look away. I never know when you're supposed to not look at them. But now I stare at Carlise as she talks, her face almost looking like she's in her own world. Seeing her, I can sort of see the resemblance she has with Klarise. Only maybe the skin tone, and that's all. She takes on her mother more than her father's side is what I notice. Seeing her though, I now think of all those smiles in pictures Maeve has made...was she happy?