Epiphany | Johanna Mason

Chapter Seven

"Try to get some kind of weapon," Neil offered instead. "A thick branch, a rock. Something to defend yourself with. Be mindful of your energy, sleep will not come easy."

A tense silence fell over the table while they ate. Rory often tried to break it, but even he could only do so much when there was no response from anyone. Sooner rather than later, the tributes were lined up before their mentors as they said their goodbyes.

In a way, the few moments before Rory whisked the tributes away were uncomfortable. The pressure to say the right thing was crushing. Most of the time, they all knew the tributes were not coming back. Just that made it uncomfortable. How much comfort could their words bring?

This year, Odette felt like she couldn't breathe. As if someone was standing on her chest, slowly bruising and breaking her ribs until her lungs got punctured and she'd never be able to breathe again. Rory was standing near the elevator like a bad and impatient omen.

Cecelia took the lead with a big and comforting smile Odette would usually wear and pulled them in for a hug. "I believe in you," she said before pulling back, holding them at arms length. "Drink and eat when you're offered some, keep breathing."

"Remember our advice," Neil continued. Cecelia let go of the kids, taking a step back. "Don't drop yourself into a fight you can't win."

Thalia nodded, more determined than she'd ever seemed, but Miles' attention was on Odette. She wanted to say something but feared she'd break down if she did. That seemed worse than not saying a thing at all.

Still, she stepped forward and hugged him so tight she was certain bones would snap. He didn't seem to mind. "I love you." She whispered simply, tears welling in her eyes. She hugged him harder.

The boy had his face pressed into her hair, breathing shakingly. "I love you too."

In the end, there was nothing more to say. Other words would have been empty and meaningless. At least this meant something. "As adorable as this is, we need to go."

Letting go was difficult, and she had to remind herself that it wasn't she who went into the games. So she let go to make it easier for him. She was certain the tears were visible in her eyes when she looked at him. He gave her a shaky smile, which she tried to answer.

Cecelia's hand was on her arm, and Odette nodded once at the boy. The tributes moved, it seemed like Odette had only blinked before the elevator doors were closing and they were gone.

***

It was strange, how the thing Odette had feared most happened in the blink of an eye. It was strange that she did not cry. That she was not necessarily sad. She wasn't anything at all. Numb wasn't a strong enough word, and empty didn't feel as devastating as Odette expected.

After watching the knife land in Miles' back and blood bubbling out of his mouth, Cecelia turned off the television. Odette's eyes remained on the dark screen. It was a sight she would never forget, something etched into her vision like Manila. This should be worse. It didn't feel worse. "Maybe we should take a break," she tried to sound casual, but worry was one thing Cecelia never hid well. "Go outside for a bit. Neil can handle it."

"No problem," he said a bit too fast, a bit too eager. Odette wondered if she looked that fragile, as if anything could make her shatter. She just felt hollow. There was nothing to shatter. "I could even use a break from your chatter."

Their eyes were on her. She knew what she should do. Accept the worry and care, tell Cecelia everything she didn't feel. Perhaps she'd even cry. That was what they'd expected, after all. "I'm fine," she said. It wasn't a lie, but she doubted it was the truth. The smile was easy on her lips. "But I'll get some air if it makes you feel better."