Chapter 1 - Yearning

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"They do not, I'm sure there's someone who doesn't... What about that stable boy?"

"It's not that he doesn't like you, he's just too shy so it seems like he's avoiding you," I explain.

"And how would you know that?"

"Because I asked."

"See Althea, your job does suit you. Being an envoy and taking care of problems require a certain amount of empathy for people, which you have." He says.

I sigh. "It also requires much more than that."

"You'll get the hang of things."

"Okay... I think I'll head back a bit early. I'm starting to feel tired."

He stops beside me. "I'll come with you."

"That's okay," I say, hoping he'll let me go back alone.

"Alright." He says, taking the hint. He looks up at me, his small eyes full of pity.

"Thanks, Reep." I turn around and head back the way we came. Thankfully I get back to my room without seeing any other judgy maids.

I pull my old medicine bag out from under my bed and start to remove the few empty jars still left inside. I put in my navigation book and daggers next, filling up the awkward space that was left behind. I haven't worn my deadly weapons in a long while, it would look odd walking around the castle with them, especially when they aren't needed so much anymore. I scribble a messy note telling Reepicheep where I've gone and leave it on my bedside table before tossing on a dark cloak and heading back out of my room.

It doesn't take me long to get down to the stables, and when I do it's pitch dark except for some dim moonlight pouring in from the courtyard. As quietly as I can, I make my way to Destrier's stall and push open the top part of the door. He's awake and eagerly trots to me, snorting softly in greeting. I gently pet his soft nose while shushing him and slide on the bridle that had been hanging on the wall. Caspian had given me partial ownership of Destrier the first time he left, even though I insisted on him taking his horse with him, he refused.

I lead him out of his stall and let his reins hang freely, knowing that he won't wander off. I throw the saddle blanket over his back, making sure it's not on backward, then tightly secure the saddle on top. I almost trip as I lead him out into the courtyard, but thankfully he was close enough for me to grab onto. I climb onto his back and urge him towards the gate.

"Where are you going this late?" One of the guards asks.

"Envoy duties. I received an urgent letter from a Narnian so I need to leave immediately." He shares a look with the second guard and they both look up at me, debating whether or not they should let me go.

"Cas—King Caspian gave me this position solely to fix these sort of problems," I say confidently. I hate using my title to get things and I usually wouldn't, but I need to get out of here for a while.

"Let her through." He shouts.

The gate cranks open and I slowly trot across the draw bridge into the city. The slow but steady ride to Trufflehunter's tree is relaxing and somewhat enjoyable. The castle can be very overwhelming, even with Caspian there.

I finally arrive at the small hollow and tie Destrier to a little post Trufflehunter set up outside, just for me. I knock loudly on the door and wait. Trumpkin will definitely be cranky that I've woken him up. Trufflehunter opens the door.

"Althea?" He asks sleepily. "Goodness child, what happened?"

He motions for me to come inside. The fire in the fireplace has died but Trufflehunter quickly gets it going again while I take a seat at the dining room table.

"I didn't wake Trumpkin did I?" I ask, glancing into the tiny bedroom.

"You didn't, don't worry." He chuckles and sits beside me. "Now. What happened to make you come here in the middle of the night?"

"Trufflehunter, I-" A lump forms in my throat.

I miss Caspian. I'm tired of people hating me or pretending to love me. I wish I still lived in Narnia instead of Telmar. So many things are just not the way I wanted them to be.

"Althea." He says, resting his little paw on my hand.

"I'll be okay." I manage to say without my voice cracking.

"I know you will be, but are you right now?" He asks. I fall apart as I shake my head. Tears stream down my face and he hops out of his chair to give me a long comforting hug.

"I just miss him. A—And it's difficult being there when he's not." I explain between sobs.

"I may not understand how you're feeling, but I do know that Caspian cares deeply for you. If you explain that you're feeling this way, surely he'll do something about it." He says, lightly rubbing my back. "I want to show you something."

He pulls away and disappears into the small bedroom. I take the opportunity to wipe my face as I hear items shuffle around back there. He comes back out after a few seconds with a medium-sized, wooden box in his paws. He hands it to me and sits back down.

I open the lid, feeling slightly confused, but then I see Caspian's familiar, messy cursive handwriting. The box is filled to the brim with letters, all from him to Trufflehunter.

"Read one." He says quietly.

I pick up the one on top, probably only a few days old, and open it.

𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓣𝓻𝓾𝓯𝓯𝓵𝓮𝓱𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻,

Thank you for the quick response. I'm writing again so soon to make sure Althea is doing okay. I'm sorry to constantly be asking but I don't believe she would tell me if something was upsetting her. Especially if it had to do with my absence. Regardless, thank you.

𝓢𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓵𝔂, 𝓒𝓪𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓷

"He sends letters like that all the time. At least once a week. Some are much shorter, only asking 'how is she?' " Trufflehunter says. I'm speechless, I had no idea he's been writing to Trufflehunter as well. My heart aches as I skim the letter again.

"You can't tell him I showed you these. He made it very clear that he didn't want you to know." He chuckles softly. I smile and close the box, keeping the first one in my hand.

"Now, it's very late, I'll get you some blankets and you can sleep right over there." He leaves again and comes back with thick fur blankets.

"Thank you," I say, laying them out on the floor near the fireplace. "Goodnight Trufflehunter."

"Of course. Goodnight Althea." He says before waddling back into the bedroom. I take off my cloak and bag, pulling out the book Caspian gave me. I slip the letter into a random page. I put the book back and get situated under all the blankets.

Caspian must miss me as much as I miss him, maybe even more. He better come back soon or I'll just have to go to him instead.

Where ever he is.
~
Thank you for reading, I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter!
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