𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐄'𝐒 𝐉𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋.ʜᴀɴᴊɪ ᴢᴏᴇ̈

『36』Denial

Sunday, June 30, 850 at 12:36

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Hanji concluded that she was in denial -or perhaps some sort of shock. She had always been more on the childish side, always loudly expressing herself, broadcasting her emotions wherever she went, and helping others where she saw fit. She was known for being crazy, near-suicidal with her attempts at titan experimentation with a bright, optimistic smile -more or less marked as responsible with her job but still irresponsible with her own life, despite the fact that she had never gotten severely injured. Yet as she gripped the leather reins to Bramble in her fists while riding towards her supposed dead partner in crime -you, the one and only (Y/N)- her face remained without a saddened expression; no tears to be found cascading down her cheeks, nor was there even a crease of her brows to show how worried, concerned and honestly, devastated she should be. Her mind couldn't truly focus on one thought, but rather a diverse medley of trivial ones instead that -along with the fact that she didn't feel upset at all- led her to the conclusion that she hadn't been able to accept the cold reality that was proving to be true.

So as she continued to follow not too far behind Levi -who was on his own mare- she let her eyes carelessly wander around her surroundings; to the forever towering tree branches that hung over her head with a tiny shake under the wind's blow, the way Bramble's mane swooshed around her head with her speed and the tiny splotches of sunlight that decorated the dusty trail in its bright, midday patches. Her eyes drifted from one sight to another, curiously taking it all in until her eyes fell upon the corporal, who had just started to slow down.

Slightly quickening her horse's speed by squeezing her feet into the horse's sides, she caught up to the man and saw two soldiers lying dead on the ground. She came to the realisation that they were Oluo and Petra since Levi continued to pass by them -she was sure of their names because you had talked about them plenty, and on top of that they had been in the Survey Corps for quite the while- and it was almost like a slap to the face that they were actually gone. No, she hadn't known them well -and now it seemed like she never would- but she felt a chill run up her spine at that moment, a direct cause of the confirmation that the Special Operations Squad -supposedly the strongest group of soldiers humanity had- had taken a significant blow, whether you were gone or not.

The mocha haired girl felt her mouth dry as Levi slowed down to a stop at a clearing, and by the way there were plenty of indentations on the ground -big enough to only belong to a titan- she could tell that a huge struggle had occurred here somewhat recently. The ravenette waited by her side for a moment, quietly speaking up after a minute in his usual strong voice before he started to turn away, "Make sure you're back before everyone leaves."

Then he trotted away, undoubtedly to make sure that the rest of his squad was returned back within the Walls for proper closure for their families -if not for his own sake. Hanji didn't get off of her horse, remaining uncharacteristically silent as she partially looked around -that was until her eyes caught onto something shiny in the thick and moderately unruly grass that carpeted the ground. She couldn't help but raise a brow at it, and found herself getting up and locking her cocoa hues upon it until she was close enough to see what it was; not too far apart from each other was a set of dulled, shortened blades, the edges chipped and worn with use partially beneath the shoots of grass. Kneeling, she picked one of the smaller shards that had split off up, angling it in the sun to take a closer look at all of the scratches and marks that were engraved in its surface -and despite the hazard it posed, she placed the separated metal into her breast pocket, that was free of her field journal, with a soft plop -certain that it was yours because this is where you supposedly were. She stood up fully once more, now tasking herself with the mission to find out where you were.