❝hold on I still want you❞
❝come back I still need you❞
The Spider was a very mysterious figure. He only had two friends, and he usually kept to himself. All that was known was that he was taken away for hours at a time, he never trained with the ot...
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--- Flashback ---
"Push! Just push, Natalia!" the nurse shouted at Natasha as she was giving birth. Currently, Natasha was in the Red Room's med bay, giving birth to a baby that she did not want to have. When she first arrived at the Red Room, they took out everyone's ability to give birth, since many of their missions involved seducing a man, and there was no time for pregnancy. Pregnancy was a weakness. They removed everyone's ability but hers. Right after she entered the Red Room, she was deemed 'fit enough' to carry the baby that was going to go on to be the next leader of Hydra - the child of the Winter Soldier and the Black Widow; a cold, distant killing machine, a child raised from birth to kill. The baby would be the perfect soldier - the perfect icon for all of Hydra's missions.
And so Natalia pushed. She tried with all her might to stay awake so she could see her baby, but, eventually, she passed out, but not before hearing someone, who, by the looks of it, was Alger Schmidt, the new leader of Hydra, saying, "Ahhh. Such beauty. He shall be Hydra's Spider."
--- End of Flashback ---
That was decades ago, when she and James were still part of Hydra and the Red Room, and James still had long hair (Natasha forced him to cut it to how it was before he became a super soldier). Now, they were relatively safe, and their baby was God knows where, doing God knows what. Of course they still thought of him in their every waking moment, but they didn't even know where he was or if he was even alive. All they could do was hope that, wherever he was, he was safe. But, as he was raised by Hydra to be its next leader, there were no guarantees he was safe and doing what a normal person should be doing.
"Natalia? Are you okay? You kinda spaced out there for a moment," James said as he grinned widely at Natasha. He looked at her with such adoration that it seemed impossible for a human to hold that much emotion.
It was early in the morning - around 7 A.M, and Natasha was sipping her coffee while James was making scrambled eggs for breakfast. It was just a normal Saturday for them - wake up, go hang out with Steve and Clint (for James and Natalia respectively), and then spend the evening checking in with the search team for their son. Obviously, the team did not know that this person was their son, and James and Natasha told them that he was one of their acquaintances from their time in Hydra.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied, making an effort to smile at him. He saw right through her act - he always did; he knew her a bit too well.
"You sure? You seem a bit down right now," he said as he softly caressed her cheek with his non-metal hand. She leaned into his touch, as it was the only thing keeping her sane these past few weeks, since they had finally figured out how to locate their child.
"Um, well, I guess I was thinking about him. It's his birthday today," she whispered softly, closing her eyes and sighing. He would be turning 15 today, if they gave him the super soldier serum. There was no need for the serum to be injected into him, as he was the son of two of the most deadly assassins in the world, but Hydra would have wanted him to be the 'best' he could be. And, if they gave him the serum, he probably already had a lot of red in his ledger.
James jerked his hand back and Natasha cringed at the loss of contact. James, realizing his mistake, put both of his hands and turned her head so she was facing him. He stared into her piercing green eyes, trying to figure out what was going on in that brain of hers. She stared right back, and it was as if she was staring right into his soul. James eventually looked away, to the tiled kitchen floor.
"Natalia, it's okay. He's okay. You have to let go. We're already doing everything we can. Now we can only sit back and wait for him to appear on our radar," he sighed as he leaned over the kitchen table, his hands still cradling her face. "Natalia-"
"He's our baby, James! How could you not worry about him?" she cried out as she stood up, slamming her hands on the kitchen table. James stood up to match her height, looking her right in her face, scanning her eyes for any information as to why the sudden outburst occurred.
When he couldn't see any answers in her eyes, he exclaimed, "I do worry about him! I pray that he doesn't have to go through the same things that we did - that he still gets to keep his innocence! But he won't! And it's my fault that the poor kid was subjected to all that torture!" His voice raised to a shout but he calmed down after he got it all out.
"It doesn't seem like you care about him! You barely do anything to help find him!" Natasha raised her voice to match James's tone and let a single tear roll down her cheek.
"Natalia, I love him! I've never met him, but he's our child, so I do and will always love him unconditionally! We could've been a family! I could've been a father! And every single day, I wish I could've taken him with me when I escaped! Then at least he would be safe right now!" He shouted the last sentence. But as soon as he saw the tear on Natasha's face, he calmed down enough to add on to it, "And you could've been a mother, Natalia."
"I don't think I would've been a good mother," Natasha muttered as she crossed her arms across her chest and furrowed her eyebrows, not looking James in the eye, and instead looking at the far right corner of the room. James took her in his arms and rubbed her back, burying his face in her hair.
"I think you would've been an amazing mother, Natalia," he murmured into her hair.
"What kid would want an assassin as his mother? Imagine career day! 'Oh hey guys! My mom's a professionally trained assassin who's also like a hundred years old! What does your mother do?'" she chuckled.
"We could be our own little assassin family," he laughed, pulling back and wrapping his arms around her waist.
She put her arms on his shoulders, smiled, and said, "Yeah, I guess we could."
