boys i have trusted

baby face

you could have been intimidating if you wanted to be.
thick arms and a shadowy chin.
not my type, i would think, and then you would smile and say something about history.
i liked the way your eyes disappeared like blackberry coins between your cheeks when you laughed. i liked the gap between your teeth. i liked how you looked in dress shirts.

i went swimming with you once. we both had all our clothes on and afterwards sat side by side beneath a black sky and a porch roof.
a group of freshman girls wanted to know who the cutest boy at the party was. i said you.
you went home.

you called me- said you'd made a mistake.
you took me to the beach with a picnic basket and a hat that made your hair look funny.
you realized you didn't like how i talked so much.
i realized your dress shirts and your gap teeth were the only things i liked about you.
i went home.