Et Nos Cedamus Amori

VIII.

"I will. Thanks Brett." Eddy said, engulfing Brett in a hug.

Brett can't move to hug him back, so he just patted Eddy's head. With that, Eddy walked off and left him with a rapid heart rate.

- - - - -

"Brett!" Jordon said, snapping his fingers in front of Brett's face. "You okay, man?" He asked.

Brett shook himself back to reality, nodding at Jordon's question.

"Really, you seem out of it recently? Something bothering you?" Jordon asked as he set down his violin gently on the case.

"Kinda... I mean, I can't tell if it's a love problem or whatever... It's just, um, have you ever been in love?" Brett asked.

"I'd like to think I was. Love really depends on the person... Some view crushes as love, some don't consider their feelings love even if they're already in deep shit. It's all objective." Jordon thoughtfully answered, sitting down in front of Brett. "Either way, if it's love then it's worth considering. Specially if you make your own feelings valid." Jordon added.

"Wow, that deep shit man..." Brett replied. Jordon laughed a little and asked Brett a question.

"You in love?"

Brett was silent for a while, contemplating these feelings he's been having towards Eddy recently. Was he really in love with Eddy?

"No... I don't think so." Brett replied quietly.

"You're saying no because you really don't wanna be in love... But the way you thought about it, you need to reconsider. You might be the second person I was describing earlier." Jordon replied, smiling at his friend.

"You don't understand, Jordon... I can't love this person. We're not destined for each other." Brett replied, resting his head on his chin.

"So what if you weren't destined for each other? Fuck that destiny shit man, you should just go for it."

"No, the risk's too much... He's also in love with someone else..."

"He?"

Both went quiet for minute, waiting for each other to speak up. Jordon was the one to break the silence.

"I can't believe I haven't seen it before. You're in love with Eddy!" Jordon beamed with so much glee.

"You aren't weirded out?" Brett asked, still in shocked on how well Jordon is taking it.

"Man, it's 2012... Internalized homophobia is not cool anymore. Even if everyone around us is using it as an insult even if it isn't... Nothing wrong with loving, Brett."

"You sound like you've got shit all figured out... You've been around a lot, huh?"

"You've been told about past lives, yeah?" Jordon inquired.

"Yeah... How they appear in your lives in subtle ways. Mostly dreams or deja vu." Brett replied.

"Well, my soul's past life suffered a lot... I don't know exactly who he is because his language was foreign. All I knew is he was gay and it was illegal for his time to love. He was viewed as a sinner... A very terrible one because of something he can't control." Jordon said, feeling the pain deep in his chest.

"Aw, that's horrible, bro..." Brett answered, looking at Jordon sadly. "But do you think you're gay?" He added.

"I don't think I am. I haven't been in love with a man, but I don't think it's impossible. Love is love, after all." Jordon answered thoughtfully. "Let's go back. You love Eddy? Since when? How did you find out?" Jordon asked quickly.

"I don't think I'm in love with him... I've liked him since I was seventeen and he was sixteen, roughly. I don't remember the exact date I liked him but the moment I was aware I liked him was that time. Maybe I liked him before but never actively thought of it..." Brett replied.

Jordon was quiet, gesturing for Brett to continue.

"I found out when I dreamt of my past life. His face wasn't the same, even his personality... But I could feel that it was him. He had the same name but uses Edward. He played the violin. He was a con student and I was a professor, the first time I dreamt of our past life. He wanted me to mentor him privately..." Brett said, closing his eyes and clenching his fist at the memory.

"The first time we shook hands in that dream, I felt a shock... Even if I am just like a spectator in the dream, it felt real. It's when I was aware that I liked him." Brett added.

Jordon smiled, not saying anything. If his prediction was right, this is where Brett will finally realize that he's-

"I'm in love with Eddy... Oh my God, I'm in love with Eddy!" Brett said with glee. "I'm in love with Eddy..." Brett said, a bit more somber now.

Brett started tearing up, wiping his tears quickly. Jordon set his chair closer to Brett so that he could cry on his shoulder. Brett was quick to allow himself in Jordon's arms. He was crying and Jordon rubbed circles on his back.

"You could cry. Don't feel bad, bro. You'll be fine..." Jordon said, not really knowing how to comfort a crying person.

Jordon is usually uncomfortable when someone holds him so close, but his friend was crying. He doesn't mind if it's Brett.

"Jordon..." Brett cried, even harder than before.

Jordon was a good person, not perfect but good. He isn't one to think of malicious things, but the way Brett uttered his name... Something in him seemed awakened, a desire of some sort. Good or bad, he doesn't know. For now, he holds Brett close for comfort.