Back and forth|Jxdn

30💙

The sound of a concerned Charli pulls me back to reality.

"Emily? Emily can you hear me?"

"yeah sorry i zoned out, im fine just wanted to spend some time alone" i said reassuringly although it was more to myself.

"are you sure? i could come you know?" she asks unsure.

"no no charli it's fine , i appreciate you worrying about me but trust me im 100% fine"

Lies

Lies

Lies

"Okay" she sighs in defeat "just promise to text me as soon as you come back so i can see you" she warns and i could imagine her cute face pouting playfully.

"I Promise mom" i smile softly, this girl is really a blessing " anyways why'd you call?"

She chuckles slightly "oh just wanted to make sure you were okay after the stunt the guys made" she says bluntly.

"What stunt?"

"When i was at sway the guys had just came back from your house and they said there was a guy called I don't remember his name.." she trailed.

"Adam?"

"Yeah that's the name and they said that Griffin blurted that.."

You can hear my heart crash for the millionth time this day.

"Yeah yeah i heard that" i say not wanting to hear that again.

"Im sorry mills that's why i called and I swear im trying to hold Dixie back from suffocating Griffin in his sleep after she heard about what the jerk did"

"He didn't do anything why are you guys acting this way? As if he said something that really matters to me" i said even though it's inconvenient to me more than her.

"You know you're a bad liar right?!" She chuckled bitterly.

"Emily we all know that you feel something towards Jaden but i guess Jaden is the only one oblivious at the moment and I just want to pour some acid in his eyes so he could use them probably and understand that there's someone who actually deserves his love and attention"

"B-" i try to reply.

"No let me finish! You deserve to be happy emily especially with someone who makes you feel happy and from the short period I've known you it still so obvious to me how much joy he brings to you when he's around and I don't doubt that he feels the same way if not more and he doesn't need that girl who keeps talking trash behind his back and even yours! He deserves someone who would actually care to make him smile not someone who would hookup with one of his friends each weekend"

My breath hitches, im speechless, what the-

"Mads cheated on him?!" I try to stay calm, trying to steady my breath.

How could she do that to him? Does she have any idea about what im going through so i can at least get him to look at me and she fucking cheats on him when she has all his damn heart?! How and why??! He doesn't deserve this.

"Yes" she sighs "she's been doing it for more than 3 months now"

"And he doesn't know?"

"No.. please don't tell him, it just came out of my mouth when i was trying to deliver my point" she says sounding more panicked by now.

"Don't worry I won't, it's not my secret to share and for the rest thank you charli i will think about what you said but i just need some time to make up my mind" i say reassuring her.

"Okay bb i should probably go now talk to you later"

"Okayy bye chars love you"

"Love you more" she said before we hung up.

I sigh putting my phone in my back pocket and let my head fall down, shutting my eyes and trying to calm down. I want to talk to her and ask her how could she do that to him?! But I don't want to fall in the middle and get myself into situations that are not really any of my business.

I take the cinnamon rolls out and let them cool until i take a walk by the beach.

I walked by the shore barefoot, feeling the sand under the skin of my foot the water, splashes wetting the end of my leggings and it feels so...

Peaceful

I wish I could stay like this all my life, just by the beach watching the sunset changing the color of the sky into strands of pink and orange mixed with purple and blue. It makes my breathing regulate as i sniff the salty air. 

My emotions are a mixture of sadness, guilt, anger, confusion, concern and betrayal. I don't know why but i just sometimes wish I didn't get stopped by their car, i wish i had just drove away, ignoring that were going to crash my car and didn't get to meet them and engross myself in their lives, not because they're bad people absolutely not, indeed they gave my life some color to it and they really are supportive and nice and kind but i just feel like our lifestyles are way different. I focus on my work and studying so i can be hopefully a medical student and im not really good with what they do, whether it was partying and drinking every two day or making TikToks for living. Not that im criticizing what they are doing it's just not what I as a person would prefer doing.

Still through all these differences they were still able to change my life in one damn month, it might sound crazy but they brought the light to my darkness aka life, and it's not like i was depressed or something i just needed more friends and they gave me that, and as for Jaden he made me feel things i never thought i would feel ever again, just him being around me made me believe that happiness isn't really about achieving all your dreams, or having all the money you need, it's more about the feeling you get when you know how much someone cares about you even if they don't share that kind of affection or attraction towards you and you definitely know that they just take you as a friend but still I guarantee that he cares about me as much as i do and that for me is enough.

I have no idea what I am supposed to do but all i know is that I should just pause for a moment and let things happen, because whatever is the situation we're all in, it's still so fragile to do something stupid and fuck everything up.

Thank you for 2.31k views it's still unbelievable how we're growing so fast so thank you!! Hope you liked this chapter and trust me when i say a lot of shit is going down so soon!

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