Say My Name and I'll Be There

Chapter 26

You're still this strange after all this torment?  He was about to make the comment when you grabbed the hand that sat atop your neck and brought it forward.  Your gaze dropped as you enveloped his hand with the two of yours, stroking the plate that encased the top of his glove.  

Sooner or later, I'm going to die and it'll probably be in this cursed cell.  But...I can't say I'm ungrateful for the moments I've known Xiao or for his rescuing of me when I was a child.  It's a privilege to know him...but he will forget about me sooner or later, just as Childe said.  But even still, I can't help but... 

Your touch was so...gentle.  Soft, even.  Xiao short-circuited and froze as he contemplated the gesture. What was its meaning? No one had ever done this with him before.  It was weird.  Too weird.  "Your body requires nutrition to function.  So eat it."  Xiao abruptly pulled his hand out of your grasp and handed you the tray of food.

When all you did was stare at the tray with a conflicted expression, the yaksha sighed in annoyance and grabbed the spoon.  He scooped up some of the rice and held it out to you.  Your blushing reaction wasn't what he expected.  "T-this is too embarrassing!"  You covered your face with your hands and shook your head.

"If you won't eat, I'll force you to."

"EH?!"  You peeked out from behind your fingers and saw that he was completely serious on doing what he said.  "F-fine."  You took the spoon from his hand and hesitantly brought it to your mouth, mindful that he was intent on watching you until you finished the plate.

........................................................

"Xiao!" You sprung up into a sitting position and gasped for a breath of air.  

"It's been some time since I've seen you awaken from a nightmare."  Xiao scooted a little closer to you and noticed there were tears brimming your eyes.

"I thought I--"  Your cheeks suddenly dampened from the onslaught of tears.  Your throat clenched up as you recalled the horrific dream.

"You're alive and here."

"No," you shook your head.  "I-I thought..."  Your exhausted body gently slid back onto the floor as your eyes fought hard to remain open.  "I thought you..."

I thought I lost you, your tired inner voice reached his ears.  Xiao watched you slide your hand toward him as you fell back asleep, almost as if keeping it near him somehow gave you comfort.  Your eyelids finally closed, and he continued to stare at your outstretched bony hand that rested atop the tile floor.  He's here, thank the archons he's right here, your unconscious thoughts continued to flow into him.  ...right...here...

Xiao wasn't sure how much time passed as he continued to watch you sleep.  His eyes always returned to your hand, following its outlines and grooves, from the tips of your fingers to your wrist.  She's been holding back on praying to me this entire week, yet she holds fear of losing a yaksha?  Xiao furrowed his brows as he contemplated your thoughts.  Why is a human so worried about my wellbeing?  Her and Aether both. He shook his head in an effort to rid his mind of what was probably some sort of human compassion for you.  Humans are difficult to comprehend, he dismissed.

Your eyes opened slightly to look at him, and he noticed.  You weren't awake, but your eyes glowed nevertheless as his inner turmoil somehow found its way into the depths of your mind. 'Perhaps you face and accept what is in your heart...and you will understand the meaning of my words.' Zhongli's advice was brought to the forefront of Xiao's mind as he watched your eyelids close again.

I hate this, the yaksha grumbled to himself.  A small sigh left his lips, and his gaze fell to your outstretched hand once more.  He had a feeling that this past week would have a lasting effect on you, and you probably wouldn't be the same person after the two of you escape this hell.  Something inside you was slowly breaking; he felt the despair and desperation in your daily prayers to him.  It reminded him of himself so many centuries ago.