Elysian Fields

Five

   Lux blew gently on the cover of a thick, worn, leather-bound book, sending dust particles flying out into space, only revealed by the dim light filtering in through the window. Placing her hand hesitantly on the cover, she observed a content looking family, smiling quietly up at her; strangers now. Not able to bring herself to flip through the pages, Lux gently set the volume down on the floor.

   "Oh, I love that old album," Emmeline smiled up at her, "When did you and Cecily grow into such beautiful young women, anyway?"

   Lux shook her head, in a way which she thought would not betray any sorrow, "We've all changed so much since then." The sinking feeling which had followed her all summer somehow grew more present everytime she spoke to those she was supposed to be close with. However much she tried, Lux could not help but feel a stranger in her own life, or a false observer. Part of her anticipated the end of summer; the part that could not run away fast of enough. Yet, another wished to remain, until she understood the happenings around her in their entirety.

    Emmeline took her daughter's hand comfortingly. She tried her best to smile, but somehow it only made her look more tired, though her eyes remained ever clear. "My dear, you must promise me something, especially as you are about to leave home and go experience the world for yourself."

    Eyes widened, Lux nodded in response, prompting her mother to go on.

    "You are capable of seeing the world in a magnificent way; I've seen it in your writing. But I fear that spark may become somewhat jaded. I know what has transpired between your father and I has affected you, but surely you must know, it was nothing to do with you. People change; they grow apart."

   Lux remained silent; Emmeline sighed, fatigued.

    "I guess, what I am trying to say is, do not fear change, for it is inevitable, and not always a bad thing. Your creativity, your perspective is too valuable. You must let the world see that, but you also must let go of your anger and frustration."

    Lux found herself at a loss for words. Here lay her mother, who was entitled to the most bitterness and frustration out of everyone, telling her to let her anger go. How she achieved such peace and clairvoyance was beyond Lux's understanding, but she envied and admired her for it, endlessly.

    She nodded, "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive Father for leaving when you needed him most, but I'll try my best regarding the others."

   Closing her eyes, Emmeline whispered faintly, "Oh. But you are young. One day it will all resonate.

                                                                                     *~*

    Having closed the door to her mother's bedroom as quietly as possible, Lux swung around, finding herself face to face with Matthias.

   His handsome features pointed upwards into a grin. "Lux! Just the person I was looking for."

   Lux laughed in surprise, "Matthias."

   "How do you feel about getting out of this house this afternoon, hmm? A trip into town would do you good."

   "I suppose it would. I'd love to, just let me put on some shoes and I'll get Cecily."

   Unexpectedly, Matthias took a step closer, his face only inches away from Lux's. Up close, his handsome features seemed to somehow darken, and Lux smelt a subtle smell of rum on his breath. "Cecily isn't feeling well today; she said she's staying in bed."

   "Oh," Lux swallowed, sidestepping Matthias' closeness, "Shall I go check on her?"

   Suddenly, Matthias eyes brightened, returning to their normal cheerful state. "No, no, that's not necessary. I've been with her all morning, she'll be just fine. Come on, go get your shoes."

                                                                                    *~*

    Half an hour later, Lux followed Matthias into a small combination inn and old fashioned tavern about ten minutes away from the house. Matthias had exhuberently greeted her when she returned from retrieving her shoes and tossed her the keys to his car, remarking how she ought to learn how to have fun before going off to college. Lux took a seat towards the back of the room, observing the dimly light atmosphere filled with mostly university aged students. Some where dancing to music coming from a tired sounding record player, others were drinking at the bar, most were desperately waiting for the summer to end so that they could get on with their lives.

   Matthias returned a moment later, a smile on his face, and a bottle of red wine in his hands. He poured Lux a generous glass, pushing it towards her, before pouring himself one even more so. Lux swirled the red liquid around in her glass and took a small sip out of politeness before setting it down.

    Settling back into his chair, Matthias kept his glass close, but fixed his eyes on her. "Are you getting excited about starting at Berkeley next week then?"

   Lux blinked. She had known the date was closing in for weeks now, but to hear someone say it aloud was something different entirely. Having spent her summer writing mostly during the day, and third-wheeling on Cecily and Matthias' activities, she could not say she was sorry to see the summer end. She would miss her mother, and unexpectedly, Lux found herself dreading saying goodbye to Thomas. She had made a habit of meeting him at the fountain, or the oak tree each night. Sometimes they would talk of many things, and other times not at all, but no matter it was nice to have a friend, someone true and simple, and it was only then that Lux realized that she had forgotten something.

   "I think so."

   "You'll love university. It's so much better than being at home. Not to mention, you'll do well there, a smart and pretty girl like you."

   "Thanks," Lux replied half-heartedly. "What are you planning to do after you graduate this year?"

   "Oh well, Cecily's trying to convince me to apply to graduate schools with her, but I think I just want to travel for a year."

   "What if she were to go with you?"

    Matthias drained his glass and refilled it. He offered the bottle to Lux, but she declined. "Can I be honest with you Lux?"

   But he continued before she even had the chance to respond.

   "I'm not sure that would be for the best. I care for your sister a great deal. Really, I do. She's lovely."

   "But?"

   "But she's so ready to settle--"

   Lux narrowed her eyes, "Because she loves you! You two have been talking about your future since the day you met, why would you spend your whole summer here with her and her family if you were only planning on breaking things off?"

   "Because some things are harder to let go of, even if we anticipate them." Then, Matthias turned his eyes down towards the table, avoiding Lux's piercing gaze. "I'm not in my right mind today Lux. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. Please, you must promise not to speak a word of this to your sister."

   "Even though I want to, it's not my place," Lux reponded icily. She shook her head, "I so wanted my mother to be wrong about you."

   Matthias looked up for a moment, his eyes guilty, twinged with a hint of something Lux could not place, "I wish Cecily were more like you, Lux. You never expect anything from anyone, least of all me."

   Lux, not knowing precisely how to respond, said nothing, while Matthias' eyes suddenly lit up as the song on the record player changed. "Come on. Dance with me." He grabbed her hands and whisked her out of her seat before she could even try to break away. For someone so innebriated, he was surprisingly steady on his feet. His breath though, was too close, too hot on Lux's face, and while a month ago she might have gone weak at the knees at such an encounter, she now found herself eyes clenched shut, waiting for the desperately for the song to be over.