Choosing

t h i r t y s i x

"Thanks for tonight. I know it didn't turn out the way you wanted."

"It was better." He looks me in the eyes, and if looks could kill — I'd definitely be dead right now. He turns around to leave, but quickly stops himself, and spins back to me. "Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember when we first met and you bumped into me?"

"Vaguely," I mutter remembering every detail, from his brick body to his harsh tone. I can't believe it's only been a month.

"You asked if I was okay." He says plainly. "Even though you knew I wasn't affected at all. You still asked."

Yes, I remember the horrifying moment. Thanks Ushijima.

He continues, "And then at that practice you helped your team. You didn't even take the win. You also came to ask if I was okay afterwards."

"I suppose I did."

"You didn't hesitate to fake date me when I needed it. Technically, it was your fault for being so clumsy, but you didn't have to do everything else for me." He puts his hands in and out of his pockets. "Also, you've been through a lot. You were forced to grow up. You have this thing where you're scared because you think people are going to leave you. Your dad left and your mom is barely home. You feel the need to carry other people's problems on your back because you're afraid nobody else will."

I stare at him and blink. "Ushijima, I-"

He cuts me off. "You're stubborn and you don't like others helping you."

"Wait-"

"But besides that, you're the most selfless person I know and that's why I think I've fallen in love with you."

My heart drops. "Ushijima-"

"I've never been in love, so I don't know how it feels. But I think it feels like this. You make my heart beat really fast. I don't know how you do that to me. My hand sweats too. I also feel like I can talk to you."

For someone who barely says anything, he has a lot to say right now.

"You don't have to answer me now." He says with a shrug. "I'll give you some time to think."

I can barely form words. I just nod and thankfully Sara comes skipping to us.

"Ready, Y/N?"

I nod again.

"Goodbye," Ushijima grabs my hand.

"Bye," I choke up.

Sara pushes me away and I replay Ushijima's words in my head. Two love confessions in one night... all I'm missing is...

"Y/N! Wait up!"

Oh no...

"Bokuto?" Sara questions. "Weren't you meant to go with the boys?"

"Yeah, I just need to talk to Y/N for a moment."

Sara glances to me and takes a few steps back. I know she can still hear. She has really good hearing.

"What's going on?" I ask Bokuto since I'm finally able to talk.

"I need to say something real quick..." He plays with his fingers. "I know I'm not like as good as Ushiwaka or Oikawa, but I just wanted you to know that I'm still here."

I raise my eyebrows. "What?"

"Well I don't know if you really see me. You have such great guys surrounding you and I know they'd be better for you... but I... I- I love you."

"What?" I repeat, my throat is dry. I can see Sara's eyebrows shoot up from my peripheral.

"You once asked me if I would give the game up. I would, for you. I would give it up a thousand times if it meant you chose me." Bokuto finally looks up at me. His eyes bore into mine. "I never thought I'd give it up, but volleyball means nothing compared to you. You're like everything to me now."

I can physically see his heart on his sleeve. These are the words I've always wanted someone to say to me. He understood what it meant to me, even if I just mentioned it once.

"Bokuto! Get over here!" Tendou screams.

"Hurry up," Akaashi calls in a more monotone voice.

"I got to go, I'll see you later? Tomorrow maybe?" He smiles at me.

I nod my head at a loss for words again.

"Great! Bye, bye!" He grabs me and pulls me in to tight hug. I feel so enveloped in warmth, I don't want to move. But he pulls away too quickly.

"Bye, Bokuto."

Bokuto dashes away and Sara walks next to me awkwardly.

Now that everyone's away, I have to deal with her. We can't keep going like this.