"no! no!"
i wake up screaming. i roll over to look at the clock and groan. 4 a.m. i still have two and a half hours until i have to get up. i'm tired, but my body won't allow me to fall back asleep. like it does on most nights. i have nightmares. i've had them for as long as i can remember.
i cringe thinking about the same recurring nightmare. it's about my dad. he left me and my mom when i was 7. he was a drunk. haven't seen or heard from him since, but i have recurring nightmares about that one time he hit my mom. i hate it. it makes me want to find my dad, who i barley want to claim as my dad, and give him a good punch in the face for hurting my mom.
i roll back over and try to fall back asleep. i look over at jamie who is sound asleep. she's woken up to my screaming so much that she doesn't even budge when it happens now. i know this is selfish but a part of me wants jamie to wake up with me like she used to and calm be back to sleep with her soothing words telling me that i'm safe.
i soon start to drift off to sleep again.
..
i hear my alarm go off at 6:30 on the dot. ugh. i was getting used to not having to get up so early. i groan and get out of bed to go shower and get ready.
when i arrive back in the room from my shower jamie is still sleeping. i'm not surprised. she's not a very easy person to wake up i must say.
"jamie get up." i say in a whispered tone. she rolls over and looks at me.
"what?" she groans
"i said get up. you need to get ready for school. it's 6:45."
"ugh. i don't what to get up." she says and rolls back over.
"uh-uh. get up jamie. i really don't want to tickle you." i say with mischievous smile. she turns back over and looks at me with horrifying eyes.
"no! please don't madelyn!" she screams and jumps up. i know how to get her on her feet.
"come on you need to get dressed and pick out my outfit." i remind her as i get off the bed and walk over towards her closet.
"right, i almost forgot"
..
after a good 15 minutes of jamie picking out what she wanted me to wear, we are finally out the door with our lunch money in hand, proudly walking to her mom's car. in middle, school our moms always packed our lunches and we hated it. it's pretty childish, you know. your mom packing your lunch for you.
..
jamie's mom arrives at the school and we get out as quick as we can, trying to avoid the whole "be responsible" "be respectful" "be nice" speech blah blah blah. we managed to avoid that whole conversation on the way here. thank god. we grab our backpacks and head to the front doors of the school. seamount high school is a small school with only about 300 kids, but i like it. it's brick on the outside with a big sign that says "seamount high school". it's a very old school and the outside of the building shows it. the parking lot is in a urgent need of a replacement of fresh asphalt, but i doubt they will replace it any time soon. as it looks like it hasn't been replaced in over a decade.
..
"wow" i say amazed at what i see as we step through the doors.
"yeah wow" she says looking astonished.
